Submission (Completed)

28.

Tamia Ford
Minutes later

"Mama, all I'm saying is tired of being submissive to a man who doesn't appreciate me and value me as a woman."

"As his woman." I clarified, looking into her eyes with tears in mine as we sat on the floor together.

"I'm tired of being walked all over."

"I'm tired of my love being abused and used like I'm an object to him." I went on, expressing myself completely now as she listened intently to my words.

"You made me lose my virginity to him at 17, mama."

"Underage." I allocated, trying to get her to understand my pain.

"You and Endo both didn't care that I was crying and scared. You didn't care that I didn't want to but you made me, mama."

"All for some money." I turned my lip up in disgust and she tucked her lips in embarrassment as I did.

"All so that he would give me money and take care of me after graduation. Even though he wanted to do that anyway."

"He didn't even care about the sex, mama, but you put it in my head that I had to or I was going to be kicked out—"

"Oh, please, Tamia stop being dramatic. I never forced you to do it—"

"Dramatic? Mama, yes you did!" I screamed as tears streamed down my face rapidly.

"You forced me to! You told me that you would kick me out and have my hymen checked, mama. You forced me!"

"It was your choice, Tamia. You didn't want to get kicked out so you made the decision to do as your mother said." She tried to play the reverse psychology game on me now, obviously trying to make me feel like I'd did all of this to myself when in reality, she was my abuser before any one else could be.

"Mama, I don't care what you say or how you try to flip it but you made me have sex, basically sex for money."

"You pimped your own daughter out at 17 and I'm never going to forget it."

"Not what you did and damn sure not what Endo did." I expressed as I thought about Endo and how I was going to chew his ass out next once I gained the courage to.

"Well then I'm so sorry that you feel that way, Tamia." My mom then said as tears began to pour from her face as well and I looked at her in uncertainty.

"That's just how I grew up and that's just what I knew to teach you.." She went on, obviously feeling back for herself now but definitely not for me.

She was just quickly making this about herself, as usual, just to get all of the heat off of her and I was clocking it at the moment.

"I was taught how to treat a man by my mother and how a man should treat me." She went on with tears slowly fell from her face while I listened to her closely.

"Your dad used beat my ass."

"Badly." She blurted out as my eyes went wide, eyebrows rising.

"And I never used to be okay with that."

"But he payed the bills to keep a roof over our head and food on the table every night, that I cooked, with groceries that he bought every week."

"He didn't miss a week bringing groceries home."

"That was the dynamic. That was our dynamic." She went on certainly, looking at me in nothing but seriousness and I couldn't help but to be shocked.