Submission (Completed)

46.

Tamia Ford
An hour later

"I just felt like you would never forgive me, Yasin."

"You know, since I had kicked you out and told you that I hope that you die."

"Then you got shot two seconds after and then I lost the baby." I went on, expressing myself like he'd obviously been asking of me and he listened intently to my words as I laid in his bed in sorrow.

We were laid up in bed together for about an hour now as I laid my head in the crook of his neck. We'd been talking about everything under the sun including how he actually felt about it all. I can't lie and say that it didn't feel great. I was finally getting the release I needed and so was he.

I just felt so dumb now for thinking that he hated me all of this time.

It'd been months now.

I guess talking to each other like this and actually communicating for once was what we needed in the first place.

Before it'd gotten this deep.

"Mi, I could never be mad at you." He went on expressing himself as I rubbed my hand along his bare chest with my head in the crook of his neck.

"Baby."

"Yo' ass really don't understand how much I really do love you, cuh." He couldn't help but to chuckle to himself as I pulled back a bit to look at his face.

"It ain't shit you can do to me to make me hate you, Tamia."

"Except be disloyal to a nigga." He clarified, looking deeply into my eyes with every word and I couldn't help but to smile.

"But you ain't never been disloyal."

"Since the beginning with you, Tamia."

"All the shit a nigga put you through, all the shit we done had to go through-"

"You stayed down, ma." He went on, lifting my chin with his index finger.

"And I can't do shit but respect for you that." He made it clear, gazing into my eyes.

"That's why you in my skin."

"It's to the grave with this shit, Tamia."

"Whether you with me or not, you gon' always be with me for holding it down ten years and allowing me to love you for ten years."

"Almost eleven now, ma." He went on and I couldn't help but to smile hearing his words.

He was making me feel 100 times better in this moment, considering the way that I felt just a few hours ago and for the past few months.

He was finally give me the reassurance and the recognition that I deserved.

I'd been through a lot with him.

"I love you, Yasin." I couldn't help but to say as he took his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"I love you more, ma." He then licked his lips slowly, looking up into my eyes before I laid back down onto his shoulder.

"And I'm sorry." I whispered again to him, making him smack his lips.

"What I tell you, cuh?" He spat, obviously mad that I kept on apologizing.

But I felt so stupid in this moment.

"Look."

"I told you, you ain't got nun' to be sorry for, Mi." He expressed to me for hundredth time and I listened as if it was the first.

"I'm the one who sorry, putting you through everything a nigga done put you through, ma." He apologized again to me as a small smile appeared on my face.

"Listen, Mi."

"The only thing I need from you right now, ma-"

"-is to just be my girl." He blurted out unexpectedly and I furrowed my eyebrows, jolting my head back in shock.

"Wait-"

"What?" I asked, looking at him with knitted eyebrows as he licked his lips slowly, looking deeply into my eyes.

"You heard what I said to you."

"I want you to be my girl again, Tamia."

"And then I need you to marry me." He spoke sternly to me, looking me in my eyes with every word as I looked at him disbelief.

I didn't say or answer anything as he reached over to the dresser and grabbed something from it. When he did, my heart completely melted, watching as he pulled out a huge diamond ring and grabbed my hand then slid it onto me.

"You gon' be my wife." He demanded now rather than asking and I looked down at the ring in awe.

I was in such shock in this moment that I didn't even know what to say. This was all so sudden, considering just an hour ago, I thought that he hated me completely.

I really didn't know what I wanted to say in this moment but what I did know was that there was something that I needed to say.

"Sin, I love you." I expressed to him again as he leaned up to kiss my lips softly, making this all feel so surreal.

"But I know for a fact.." I trailed off, gathering my words.

"..that right now isn't the right time for us to get married." I finished off, taking the ring off completely and he looked at me with disappointment in his face.

I knew for a fact that he was upset but I didn't want to marry him right now. Of course I wanted to marry him eventually and I'd been waiting long for a ring.

10 almost 11 years now.

I knew that we weren't completely ready though and I didn't want to be irresponsible, just because I wanted to rush into a marriage and say that I was married.

We really needed to get through dating first if we were ever going to be married.

So that's what I wanted to do first.

Just focus on us and dating.

"I don't think we should be married right now-"

"But I would not mind being your girlfriend." I expressed to him, watching as he licked his lips slowly before they formed into a smirk.

"Yeah?"

"You gon' be my girl?" He asked with his eyebrows raised and I nodded my head, lifting myself up to kiss his cheek.

"Yes, Yasin."

"I'll be your girlfriend." I couldn't help but to laugh as he gripped me in his arms, leaving small kisses all over my face now in excitement.

I giggled lightly as he held onto me, showing me some much love in this moment. Love that'd seemed to be missing or nonexistent for the past two and half months but it was obviously still here this whole time.

We just needed to communicate, like he'd been asking of me, instead of holding everything in and I was glad that we finally were.

We deserved it.

-

Thoughts?

Concerns?