𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖉𝖞𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖞, 𝐚. 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐞𝐧¹

𝟎𝟏𝟕. YOUR GRACE

⊱❀⊰

        ALYSANNE DIDN'T know how she ended up back in bed, tucked beneath the thick covers, but when she shot up and blinked the throbbing pain from her eyes, she was even more surprised to see Rhaenyra standing before the hearth with her hand perched delicately on her belly.

       Rhaenrya, hearing the rustling of the bed, turned around and immediately offered Alysanne what she thought was supposed to be a comforting smile. It was not comfort that Alysanne felt as the queen crossed the room and gently lowered herself onto the bed. Fear quickened the girl's heartbeat as the queen brushed her pale fingers across the surface of the bed.

       They stared at each other in silence for a moment, as if neither was sure what to say to the other. "I spoke with my niece," she said softly, her hand rubbing gentle circles into the bedspread. "She informed me that you are angry with me and my husband."

      Angry was an understatement, but rather than feeling the familiar burning warmth of rage in her chest, all Alysanne felt was a cold emptiness that left her feeling remarkably hollow as she held Rhaenyra's sorrowful lilac gaze. It was as if a bottomless pit had opened up in Alysanne's chest, as if she had burned through every possible emotion she could feel the night before, leaving nothing to be felt.

      "Am I supposed to be grateful?" she rasped. Her blunt words caught Rhaenyra off guard. The queen's head tilted slightly, her lips parting with a surprised breath. "Should I thank Daemon for only cutting me deep enough to scar rather than simply gutting me, as I'm sure he would have loved to do?"

      Rhaenyra clamped her jaw shut as something sharp flashed through her lilac eyes. "I understand your anger, Lady Alysanne. What my husband did is inexcusable and I deeply regret that I was not there to stop him sooner." Rhaenyra's tone was careful, yet it felt like the only thing coming from her lips were excuses. "Such behavior will not be excused or permitted during my reign."

      Alysanne challenged the queen before she could stop herself. "No?" Her fists curled in her sheets as she glared at the queen. "Then where were you, Your Grace? Where you were whilst your husband split open my skin and shouted nonsensical ramblings at me until I was so overwhelmed that I could feel my mind splitting under the pressure?" Rhaenyra's eyes widened as Alysanne vividly recounted the things Daemon had done to her. "Where were you?"

      The queen quickly looked away, her eyes falling shut as her hand once again rose to rest atop the faint swell in her belly. Alysanne narrowed her eyes as she stared at the queen's bump. Rhaenyra was due to birth her sixth child in a few moons, and yet, as Alysanne examined her belly, she took notice of how small she looked. That was not a belly that housed a child.

      Alysanne's gaze cut back to the queen as a tear slipped from her closed eyes and trailed down her cheek and over the curve of her trembling lips. Realization hit Alysanne like a punch to the stomach. She lost the babe, then. Alysanne knew what it was like to hold a blue babe, to gaze upon the face of a sweet, innocent child that had been taken before it even had the chance to survive, to be loved. She knew that pain as a sister. She could not even begin to imagine that pain as a mother.