Chapter Sixteen: Feelings Unsure

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Chapter Sixteen: Feelings Unsure


I don't know.


I really don't know. I don't know what my brain is thinking. I don't know what my body is doing because all I feel is numbness. And the numbness was caused from the image I have seen. First, I thought I was just dreaming, pinch me and I can totally wake up and forget about the nightmare I had. But a part of my mind said I'm not dreaming. That I'm not in dreamland anymore, I'm in Midgard. That Nótt never came last night.


I closed my eyes to relax myself, my palms already turning to fists but I fought myself not to just rage. I have to stay calm. I'm a shield maiden for Thor's sake! I'm not going to just rage because of a boy. No Astrid. He's not worth it, like you said before. He's never worth it.


I stay in the spot I have been for the past afternoon. This is where I've been for the whole day, not bothering to move or anything. No one would know I was here that's why I chose this. I looked lifeless if one sees me. I openly stared at the view in front of me, not saying nor doing anything. If you would've seen me from afar or close, you would think that I was dead with my eyes open.


Sighing, I stood up. I couldn't stay in this big, sturdy tree. Soon enough, I have to go back and face whatever music they throw at me. I can't stay away from the truth, I have to go up to Hiccup and sort this all out.

I have to figure this out.


***


"He did what?!" Ruffnut screeched, making me deaf in that instant second. I closed my eyes and opened them again to find Ruffnut with a surprised look. "Please tell me you're joking."


I bit my lip and shook my head as an answer. "Not this time," I added after my silent answer. "I saw them, in the cove, going at it."


The image I can remember is something I would barf. I never wanted to see that ever again. Not only because the image was something I never want to see, but because of the person with it. Hiccup. It was messy on our...relationship. I don't even know if we do have a relationship. All I know was that we're something that's a bit taken serious.


Gods, what are we?


I kept asking that question in my mind. What are we? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Friends going out on a date? Strangers? A lot of possibilities comes to my mind of what Hiccup and I are. I was confused as a yak wondering why there are vikings touching their udders.


"I never thought Hiccup would actually kiss Mista," Ruffnut breathed out, still astonished of the fact the news I gave her. She paced up and down as I stared at her whilst sitting on a chair. She looked so serious and I tried not to snicker. "I mean, it's fucking Mista! Who would want her?!"


I leaned back in the chair. "Apparently Hiccup does," I mumbled, loud enough for her to hear it. I shook my head at the upcoming image that was forming. It was my imagination wandering if Hiccup and Mista does get together. "It doesn't matter," I shook my head. "They're together if they want to be. I"m done with it. I don't need a man."

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