Dangerous Thirst

11

ZAYN

Louis takes a knife and opens a huge container with boxes filled with bags of cocaine.

"Is it all?" I ask and look at my watch. I have places to be.

"Two containers arrived. One will arrive in three days. There's some issues with packing."

"Hm.. you know what to do with it."

"When is the next meeting?" I ask Louis.

"In an hour and a half, but you don't have to be present. You know that. I can handle it"

"I like to be present. I feel more in power"

"I know, but you have a family now." He says while walking to the car. Something in me twists.
He is right, but still can't let that affect my business.

"Liam already sees me as a venomous snake for choosing this work over them and safety." We sit down in the car

Louis laughs. "He really doesn't understand that he can't be more safe in Italy than under your roof."

I shrug. "He is like that. Likes to play hurt."

"Listen, man, I don't want to offend you, but ... why exactly did you fall in love with him? Out of all people."

I frown and look out the window. "Because he's perfect. He is so kind and respectful. He is funny and a burst of bubbly sunshine. He is a human puppy. Very intelligent and honest. Loyal too."

"Loyal? Didn't he run away?" he asks me.

"That wasn't because of it, that was out of fear. He still stayed loyal to me in a way, by having our daughter. And he.. is with me now. Listen, I know you think he's too innocent and can't handle much, but if he wanted to leave my house he would hell, he would even yell at me before it and I would probably let him."

"Hm, so whipped af ." Lou opens a car window and lights up a cigarette.

I roll my eyes. "I just feel safe with him. He's my comfort person. I understand why he behaves the way he does. I hurt him. He thought I'm someone else but now he's conflicted about whether or not that's my true self."

"Then why don't you tell him these things?"

"Because, Lou, I fucking try but he just .. he just doesn't listen." I sigh, "I think we moved on a bit, though. It's a tiny step, but he is wrapping his head around the past. Soon he will realize how great living with me is. He is used to fighting for everything and now he doesn't have to. He is afraid of the lack of control. But I don't do it to make him suffer. I do it to help him."

"I know that, Zee. I know what kind of person you are and I actually look up to you, because not everyone would look for him and wait for five years. Think I'm an asshole, but I would forget
about him and move on. Maybe get a wife, and some kids. Would I still pay him child support? Sure, if he asked for it but that's where it ends. You on the other hand, gave him everything when he came back to you."

I smile. "He deserves it. Now the wound is open, he is still mad at me and I.. think he can be. It was my fault after all. Don't forget that he's younger than us. How he acted back then made sense. I just see in a different light now than I did back then."

"Hm, maybe you are right, but does he love you?"

My heart jumps up. Does he love me? Are his feelings still there? We never said goodbye. We never split our paths on purpose. I didn't stop loving him, but ...has he? I never wished anything more than to hear him say 'I love you.'

"I- I don't know. Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't. All I know is I love him"

LIAM