You Hate That You Love Me [Andy Biersack]

I Always Say Too Much.

Andy’s POV

The other night, when I was talking to Avery, something happened inside me. I realized how much Juliet is taking over my life. I realized just how controlling she is. Has she always been this way? I mean, when we were first together she was great. Lately, however, I don’t know what’s been going on.

“She’s getting comfortable,” CC says after I explain to him how I feel.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“When you two first got together, there was always that thought that it could end and she’d be left behind,” Jinxx adds. “It’s been so long now that she’s gotten comfortable in the relationship, therefore she feels more in control. She thinks you can do whatever she wants and you won’t leave her.”

“See, this is why I just stay single,” Ashley laughs, shaking his head. "It's much simpler when you don't have a chick holding you down. You fuck, then move on. It's that simple."

"Besides," CC rolls his eyes, ignoring Ashley's comment. "She's just plain crazy."

"Mmhmm," Jake adds from the kitchen, his mouth full of cold pizza. 

"Where's Avery?" I ask, suddenly remembering that she could quite possibly be listening to this whole conversation. Ashley chuckles and nods his head in the direction of the bunk room.

"You should talk to her," CC says. "Just, like, the two of you; one-on-one. You could use some time to yourself and so could she. I think the two of you could benefit from it."

"We'll leave the two of you alone," Jinxx says, grabbing a suddenly over-protective Ashley by the collar and leading him to the door. Jake asks if there will be any food, and when promised a new pizza, he happily agrees to join the rest of them. 

"Don't worry, Ash," I say. "I won't do anything to her. Promise." Ashley still doesn't seem convinced, but nonetheless, he leaves with Jake, CC and Jinxx, closing the bus door quietly behind himself. I take a deep breath and walk towards the bunk room, opening the door.

Avery is sitting on Ashley's bunk, a book in her hand, earphones in. I can hear Witness the Addiction by Suicide Silence from where I'm standing. How can she listen to music that loud? I am a rock star, but damn.

"Avery?" as I say her name, the letters roll off my tongue like honey. The name is almost as perfect as she is. Almost.

Despite how loud the music is, she hears me, and looks up. A small smile sneaks its way onto her lips when she sees it's me, and she closes the book. She removes her earphones and motions for me to sit next to her, which I do. Avery is wearing jeans and a hoodie, but the sleeves are rolled up, and I can see faded scars on both of her forearms. Avery notices me noticing her scars, and she rushes to pull her sleeves down. I stop her when she gets to the left sleeve, the one closest to me. I pull it back up and run my fingers over the faded white lines.

"Why?" I whisper, looking at her. Avery, this beautiful creature, was put down to the point where the only way she could feel better was to hurt herself. I'm not usually a violent person, but I want to make sure that whoever did this to her is punished for it. I know that's a foolish, most likely impossible thing to wish, but hey, I'm a foolish being, so I might as well want it anyway.

"My life hasn't been easy," she says.  "I've seen things, and experienced things, that no one should ever have to."

"Like what?" I ask.

"If I told you," Avery says, a small smile returns to her lips. Despite her best efforts, however, it doesn't reach her eyes. "I'd have to kill you."