Pierced Heart [KN]

Hindi ito Chapter 8

Kassandra's POV

"Kassandra please come out." Mom kept on knocking on my door. Kinulong 'ko kasi ang sarili 'ko sa kwarto 'ko. Ayoko na. Palagi nalang akong pinapagalitan tuwing aalis ako ng bahay so mas mabuti nalang siguro kung hindi nalang ako lumabas. Dadalhan naman ako nyan ng pagkain. And besides I could always sneak out through my window, psh they're so dumb.

Hindi 'ko nalang pinansin si Mom. I took a quick shower, changed my clothes and went out. Syempre dumaan ako sa bintana.

I ran away again, what's new? I don't care. That place was a hellhole to be honest. I'm freaking tired. I just want some time alone. I just want to be free.

Deep down, I'm still crushed. I feel like I'm underwater. I'm drowning and no one seems to notice.

Ang bigat palagi ng pakiramdam 'ko, feeling 'ko matutumba nalang ako anumang oras.

I honestly don't know how to be happy anymore. What's my purpose to live? Why am I still alive? What or who do I live for? What's my source of happiness? How can I escape from this wretched feeling?

Bakit pa ba ako andito?

Can I die now?

Well, I did several attempts already. My wrists had enough. I don't feel pain anymore. I feel... empty, incomplete and lost.

To be honest, I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. Hindi 'ko na maalala kung kailan yung huli kong gabi na hindi ako umiyak nang umiyak bago matulog. Hindi 'ko na maalala kung kailan yung huli kong araw na hindi namumugto yung mga mata 'ko pag gising 'ko.

Bakit ba ang hirap na ngumiti ngayon?

Pero... si Pierce, ibang klase siya. He makes me smile with no ease. Ang dali lang maging masaya kapag kasama 'ko siya. Akalain mong napatawa niya pa ako?

Ang gaan ng pakiramdam 'ko, I feel like the old me when I'm with him.

That was the last time I laughed. And that was two weeks ago.

How did he do that? Paano niya yun nagawa?

Anong meron sa kanya?

Is he...

Is he my happy pill?