My tomorrow are all mine

Chapter 11

I sat on the porch and let him take his time. I watched the Chickadee's and finished my lunch. I replay our whole greeting over and over again to see if it was weird or not. If I should have said something else. If I should go back to the main house or not. He is more attractive than I thought he would be. I tried to not look at the photos in the main house so I would be surprised when I saw him. I was definitely surprised. Give him gray thin hair and make him shorter with a beard and he would be his dad. I pulled my leg up to my chest and the door opened.

" Wow, that was needed." He said " Looks like Mama went shopping for us."

" Yeah" I say, looking him over. He has tighter jeans on with a tucked in dark green button up shirt. He has boots on and his hat in his hands. He sits down in the other chair and I watch him move like he's floating. He may look like his dad but he has the same mannerisms as Rena. He rests his elbows on his knees and plays with his hat.

" So now we are in the same place. Can we talk about it?" He asks

" Sure" I say " What do you want to know?"

" Are you happy?" He asks slowly like he was nervous.

I rest my head back and close my eyes, taking a breath. " Very."

" Good" he says " Did you feel weird coming here?"

" Surprisingly no" I say " Your parents are amazing and Honey has helped me a lot."

" About that" he said " Honey is my girl." He laughs " But I will share her"

I rub my face and squeeze my leg. We sat in silence for a few minutes. " Blake was my first love. He was all I knew. I had no family. No friends anymore. He took all the strength I had. But in the beginning I wasn't stupid he was really great in the beginning. He told me everything I wanted to hear and I didnt know he was going to change so much. It was a while into living together when he changed." I play with my stitches on my knee. " I want to tell you something. It is important." I inhale hard. " If I didn't get your letter that day. I was done. I had come to terms with dying. I know it was a matter of when it might happen. I gained a bit more of myself with each letter. It gave me something to look forward to. It gave me a path. An escape." I wipe a tear from my cheek and look at him. He has tears too. " I could not thank you enough for saving me. If Fern didn't show up and get me I would have died in that tub. I was already there. I prayed everyday for a sign to get me out and then you showed up. YOu understood so fast and without questioning it you offered all this." I wipe another tear. " I could never repay you for my life."

" Chickadee, I could tell from that first letter you were at the end of your journey on this Earth. I talked to Tyler after the first letter and he was the one who said you need an escape. That is why I offered all this. I am just glad you said yes to it. There is nothing like it and it's a great place to rebuild yourself." He wipes his face and stands up walking over to me. " Now, Mama made fried chicken and I am starving." He holds out his hand and I take it. " He is your past. He has no place in your future. You saved yourself in time."

He held my hand a bit leading me to the ranch. It was warm and felt strange to me. I can't remember the last time Blake just held my hand calmly. I was always a bundle of nerves waiting for the next broken finger.

" How is your arm?" He asks me as we walk to the barn.

" Good. Fern reset it for me. It had a sling for a few weeks but I feel all better now." I say moving it in circles.

" No, I mean the cast." He said

" Oh yeah I cut that off myself and it is fine." I say He turns and moves a curl off my forehead. Then rubs a thumb along my scar. "Stitched. I am all good now."