Killing me softly

Chapter 17

I watched as we travel through the town. Passing the one grocery store, the one gas station, car wash and the library. I wasn't paying to close attention to where we were going. I didn't care. I felt betrayed, used. I know I stormed out like a child running to their room but Tristen lied to me. At first I thought Ash was taking me home but then she turned right instead of left on Maple Street. I sat up straight looking at the houses trying to recognize something.

"Where are we?" I asked her.

She glanced at me then away. "You said anywhere."

"That I did." I mumbled.

We pulled up to a two story brick house with a tire tied to a thick branch, hanging down swinging in the breeze. The windows were open so I could hear laughter and yelling coming from the house. Ash put the car in park and got out. I slowly climbed out shutting the door behind me.

"Well, come one." Ash said waving me towards the house.

I follow her into her house, the laughter and yelling getting louder and I could smell something cooking.

Ash took me into the kitchen. "Anna, this is my mom, Margie. Mom, this is my friend from school, Annabel."

I could see where Ash got her blonde hair from. I stuck my hand out. "Hi,"

Ash's mom ignored my hand and pulled me in for a hug. "I've heard so much about you, Anna." She let go and beamed a pearly white smile at me.

Ash grabbed my hand and took me across the room. "This is Natalie, my youngest sister." Ash pointed to a little girl that looked like she could be six. She had long blonde hair and big blue eyes with dark eyelashes. She looked exactly how I would picture Ash at that age. "This one is Thomas but he insists on everyone calling him Tommy." Ash rumpled Tommy's dirty blonde hair. He pushed her away. "And of course Charlie." Ash said standing over him. He was sitting at the kitchen table, head phones in his ears and he had a game boy in front of him. "My fourteen years old little brother." Ash yanked on his head phones and they popped out of his eyes.

Charlie looked up with annoyance and scowl. "What do you want now, Ashley,"

"We have a guest. Say hi," Ash waved her hand at me and crossed her arms.

"Hello," I said giving him a smile.

"Hi." Charlie snapped. He looked back at Ash. "Happy?" He stood up and walked out.

"I do not miss that age." Ash said watching him walk out. She looked at me and then laughed. I couldn't help it I laughed too.

***

I loved it at Ash's house. The loudness and the crowd, it made me wish I wasn't an only child. Once her dad, Thomas, came home from work we had dinner. It was great, chicken with mashed potatoes and corn. Ash's mom made the rolls by scratch. Ash said she loved to cook, it's all she did being a stay at home mom. It was so loud a the dinner table, everyone yelling over the other to be heard. Laughter ringing through the room when someone insulted the other. You could tell there was lots of love in the house even though Ash looked at her siblings with annoyance. Around seven O'clock I told Ash I should probably be getting home since we have school the next day.

On the way back to my house we cranked up the music and rolled down our windows and sang along to the radio. I don't know how long it's been since I felt like a normal teenager but it feels good. I missed this feeling, being free. Having no worries expect for school the next day. But then I did remember when I stopped feeling like this. One year ago when I got a knock on the door and opened it to see two police officers standing on my front porch.

I shook off the memory and shoved all the feeling that began to stir again into a box in the back of my mind. I started singing again and before I knew it I was home.

"Thanks, Ash." I told her opening my door.

"I hope they didn't scare you off. They show off a bit when company's around." She said rolling her eyes.

I smiled. "It was great. Exactly what I needed." I waved at her while she pulled away from the curb and took off.

Turning towards the house I could see mom wasn't off work yet. Sighing, I unlocked the door. It was very quite compared to Ash's house. Kind of eerie. Pushing open the door, a sound of a twig snapping made me spin around. I gasped at the sight of Tristen and my hand flew to my chest.

"Sorry if I scared you. I thought you heard me." He said while stopping a few feet away. He put his hands in his pockets and looked around.

"No, it's okay." I told him. I closed the door and turned around to face him. "What's up?" I asked him.

"Well, you left so quickly I didn't get the chance to tell you the rest of the plan." His eyes finally landed on me. I waited for him to continue. "It's happening this Saturday."

My eyes widen and my stomach tightens. "But that's only three days away."

He nods. "I thought you would be happy."

"I am." I told him. But then why did my heart rate pick up and I felt like I could be sick any moment?

Tristen walked up to me until he was just inches away. "What is it?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I've been waiting for this day for so long that I can't believe it's happening and..." I trailed off looking down.

"And what,"

Once again I shrugged. "I'm scared."

Tristen wrapped his arms around my shoulders and mine went automatically around his waist, my cheek resting on his chest.

"It's going to be fine." He said. "No one is going to hurt you."

"That's not why I'm scared." I told him.

He pulled slightly back so he can look down at me. "Then why?"

"I'm afraid that this wont be enough. What if I never get past this anger?" I've never been an angry person before but more and more recently I've gotten mad, no furious over the whole situation. Finding out that my father's death could have been out of sheer boredom, sent me over the edge into a place I've never been before. "What if I'm not myself afterwords? This could change me, forever."

Tristens hand found its way to my face. He cupped my cheek in his palm and looked at me. "But what if it makes you better, what if it turns you into the person you are meant to become?" He looked down at my lips then back up to my eyes. "Into someone that would willingly be with a monster?"

I frown at his words, making him glance at my lips again. "Tristen I don't think your a monster." I let go of his waist and gripped his arms. "I've liked you since the first day I met you. When Austin pushed you into me and I almost got trampled by a bunch of kids."

Tristen looked down and smiled, at first it was a shy smile but then it turned into a real smile and he looked back up at me. I smiled back dumbfounded that he never saw how much I liked him. Then he kissed me.

I've been kissed before not many times but enough to know when someone is doing it right or not. And Tristen? He defiantly knew how to kiss. I gripped his arms tighter and leaned in kissing him back. His hand left my cheek and his fingers got tangled up in my hair at the base of my neck.

I don't know how long the kiss lasted for but when I heard a car honk I jumped back, letting go of Tristen and breaking every contact we had. My mom shut off her car and got out.

Tristen looked at her and back at me. "I'll just go." He said, he turn and jogged to his car.

"Coward." I mumbled to myself. "Hi, mom." I said when she got closer.