Killing me softly

Chapter 12

       

        Austin pulled up to the curb in front of my house. All the lights are off and all you can see is the TV light through the white curtains in the living room window. I know my mom is going to want to know what happened and how the date went but I don't know what to tell her. "It didn't go well, some creepy guy showed up and Tristen left me with his friend to go possibly see another girl."

        Yeah I don't think that'll go over very well. I sigh, this is not how the night is suppose to end up like.

        Tristen said he'd explain, explain what exactly? Why he left me? Who Matt is? He also said he'd tell me everything, does that mean he can help me find the person that keeps leaving me hints in my locker?

        "Don't be mad," Austin said putting the gear shift in park. I look over at him but say nothing. "Look," He sighs and runs a hand down the length of his face. "You don't know the stress Tristen's dad puts on him. He tries to do the right thing all the time. He tries to make everyone happy." He looks at me and tries for a smile. "He will explain everything, just be patient."

        I nod and he looks away, I take that as my cue to leave so as I open the truck door I take a deep breath of the night air trying to come up with a good story to tell my mom.         

        Austin leaves as soon as I open the front door. I hear the TV shut off and my moms bare feet pad across the living room carpet to me.

        She smiles at me. "How did it go?"         

        I muster up the best smile I could manage. "Good."

        "Where did you go?" She leaned forward in her seat waiting for me.

        I shrugged. "A restaurant to get some dinner," I try to come up with something to tell her. "You were right about the dress, it was dressy yet causal."

        She smiled. "I'm glad it worked for you, honey."

        "I'm tired, I"m going to go lay down." I told her motioning towards the stairs.

        She's gives me a hug. "I'm glad your first date went well." She kissed my hair then let me go.

        I gave her a small smile then headed up the stairs. When I got into my room I took my shoes off then fell onto my bed face down.    

"Bell, come on sweetheart wake up."  

My fathers voiced pushed its way threw the sleep fog that was wrapped around my brain. "Dad," Trying to open my eyes I felt around for him in my head. "Dad, where are you? What happened?" When he didn't answer I started to panic. I searched and searched but couldn't find him.

Finally I felt a presence.

"Bell!"  

Gasping for air, I bolted straight up clutching at my shirt. It was soaked from sweat. Glancing around I saw my curtains waving in the midnight breeze from my open window.

•••

When I woke up the next morning I pushed past the hurt and went straight to anger. I've never been much of a angry person, it was something I got from my dad. So when I felt the heat sweep up from my toes to my hairline I was shocked but this is how I'm supposed to act. If we really did go on a date, which he made it out to be that way, I should be angry.

Throwing on a pair of jeans and grabbing a jacket, I sent a text out to Tristen.

 Meet me at the park. 5mins.

Hoppfully he would listen. He promised he would explain things to me and right now I didn't want to see him but last night dream reminded me why I was on that date in the first place. And waking up to see the window open, when I know I didn't open it myself, made it all more real.

After getting ready I left the house before my mom woke. I didn't want to lie to her and I know she would want more details about last night. Hurrying towards the park, kept looking around me waiting for someone or something to pop up or grab me. Even when I arrived safely at the park, I was still jumpy. I tried to sit on the swings but I couldn't sit still long enough. I ended up pacing in front of the big slide waiting for Tristen to show.

Shaking my hands out I started muttering to myself. "I can do this,"

I was never good at confrontations. Both my parents are that way too. None of my childhood memories had them in screaming fights and slamming doors. They were always calm and collected. If one got to upset, they would walk away and talk about when they were calmer.

I didn't know how to force someone to tell me something I want to know. Asking nicely always did it for me. My father always said that line from Bambi

"If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all."

It resulted in me having a good group of friends and everyone in school like me. I wasn't popular but I was still invitied to everything. From the popular kids's parties to the christian groups inviting me to gathering and even the drug users offered me a hit of whatever they had now and a again.

But right now I couldn't afford to be me. I need to be someone else, like Roxy.

When a truck pulled up, I half expected Austin to step out of it but only Tristen did.

I stopped pacing and stood waiting for him. I took a few more deep breaths hopping that it will help my ramming heart.

Tristen stopped three feet in front of me and didn't say anything.

"Your late," I said after a moment of silence. He was only two minutes late.

He glanced down at his watch and looked at me. "Only by two minutes."

I glanced around. "Where's your friend? The one that seems to be attached to you?" I tried to use my best mean voice but I don't know if i succeeded or not.

By the look on Tristens face I don't think I did. "Austin is probably asleep right now. It is seven in the morning on a Saturday." He slid his hands in the pocket of his jeans. "But I could call him if he's the one you really want to talk to."

I see, I'm not the only one that's trying to protect themselves. Tristen is putting on an act too.

"Fine, let's talk then." I crossed my arms across my chest. "So are you going to explain last night to me?"

"If I'm going to explain last night to you, I'm going to have to go further back then twelve hours ago."

I shrugged. "I got all day," I told him.

He smiled running a hand along his jawline. I had to look away, it wasn't the smile I was used to but the one he should Matt last night.

"Fine, but not here." He started towards his truck and I followed. I hopped into the cab and he started up the truck.

He put the truck into reverse and he looked at me. "Do you trust me?" He asked.

I looked out the windshield then back at him. "Yes," I told him.

It's me I don't know if I trust.