Serendipity//Billie Eilish

0.08

Billie wanted so badly to stay but she knew Yohan needed her space so as she watched her two girls hugging she wiped her tears trying to hide that she was crying. Though she wasn’t sure how successful she was considering the amount of time she had spent crying the night before, she must have bags under her eyes. Reluctantly, she spoke up, “I’ll let you guys hang out, I’ll be back later.”

“You’re leaving mommy?” Ella pulled away from Yohan. She was confused because it was Saturday, and without fail they both always spent the day with her mama on Saturday’s.

Billie tentatively approached Yohan’s bed where Ella was currently perched. “Yes baby, remember I told you that Saturday’s are Ella and Mama time?”

Ella nodded.

It was true. Billie spent most Friday’s alone with Yohan while Ella spent the night at her aunties-they liked to steal her away at least once a week and since it wasn’t a school night Billie let them. They were very close and Drew had secretly also wished that Billie could spend the night with Yohan instead of at her and Gray's place her plan worked because without fail Billie was found sleeping on the couch next to Yohan’s hospital bed.

On Saturday’s though, Billie let Ella spend her entire day with Yohan. Although Billie was of course always there with them she always let Ella decide what she wanted to do. Usually Ella would pick a Disney movie to watch as she curled up next to a sleeping Yohan or she would practice her dance routine or tell her mama about her day as if she could actually hear her while Billie worked.

“You and your mama have fun like you always do, okay.” She brushed Ella’s hair back. Billie avoided looking into Yohan’s eyes, she couldn’t take the hurt and disappointment she saw in those doe eyes ever since Yohan had found out about her marriage. It broke her heart to see this new Yohan, one that didn’t look at her adoringly.

“But what about you?” Ella innocently said. “You’re supposed to be here for Ella and Mama time. You always are. Won’t you be sad by yourself?”

Billie suppressed a sigh. “I know I’m always here baby, but mama will take good care of you and I want you guys to hang out without your mommy getting in the way okay? I want you to get to know your mama. Mommy won’t get sad.” She would. She thought, she was already sad but Ella didn’t need to know that.

Ella didn’t quite understand why she couldn’t stay too but she still said “Okay mommy.” She knew her mommy was lying. She could tell when her mommy was sad.

Billie looked up and was finally able to meet Yohan’s eyes, though not quite looking directly into them. “Be careful, she’s a menace, don’t let her bully you into anything. Have Xam call me when you’re ready for me to pick her up or if she annoys you too much.”

Yohan noticed Ella was giving Billie the same glare Billie used to make when she was annoyed and she almost chuckled because she realized her daughter was not only a baby mandu but also a baby angry kitten. “I’m not a menace.” She crossed her arms. Then pouted and looked at Yohan, “Mama what’s a menace?” Yohan giggled at her cuteness.

Billie rolled her eyes at her daughter’s antics and tried to still the butterflies in her stomach when she heard Yohan giggle. It had been so long since she had heard it. She cleared her throat again, “Anyway, just call me if you guys need anything, Xam has my number.” Billie tried to finish evenly.

She wanted to cry again. She hated to leave. Part of her was always afraid she would never see Yohan again, that she would slip back into a coma. She wondered if it would always be like this every time she had to tear herself away from Yohan’s presence. She was glad that at least Ella afforded her the right to at least briefly see her, if it wasn’t for Ella she was sure Yohan would have never wanted to see her again. She couldn’t bear the thought.

Yohan could tell that Billie wasn’t okay. Yohan knew she had been crying and Billie looked like she hadn’t slept correctly in days and it hurt Yohan’s heart to see her like that. She wanted to wrap her up in her arms and hold her, she wanted so badly to cuddle Billie while they both held their daughter in between them. She wanted the family that she was robbed of back but she kept having to remind herself of her new mantra Billie has a husband. Billie is married. Billie isn’t mine anymore. At least she had Ella. Ella was her family.

Billie pecked Ella on the cheek and awkwardly said goodbye to Yohan, forcing herself out of the room. Yohan wanted so much to call her back. Instead she turned her attention to the little girl that was still perched on her bed. Ella stared at Yohan before putting her little palms on either side of Yohan’s cheek’s “you’re really pretty mama,” she said, flashing another gummy smile. “I like your eyes.”

Yohan was absolutely certain her heart had just exploded. Ella was a baby Billie and it only made her that much more powerful. Yohan was smitten, her cheeks started to hurt from smiling so wide.

“But you’re the prettiest babygirl.” Yohan said, holding her daughters wrists to her face. “I love your eyes too, they’re pretty just like your mommy’s.” Yohan hadn’t meant to admit that last part so she tried to cover it up, “you look like a little princess.”

Ella smiled wider. “Do you wanna watch Tangled mama?”

Yohan frantically nodded, which only caused Ella to squish Yohan’s cheeks with the movement because she still held her hands there. “That’s my favorite movie!”

“Mine too!” Ella exclaimed clapping her hands excitedly. “Mommy showed it to me, she said it had been your favorite so I watched it and now it’s my favorite too!”

Ella climbed off the bed to grab the tablet Billie always packed for her when they visited Yohan and pulled the movie up. Ella watched it so much that Billie had bought the digital version for her. Yohan was impressed at how well this tiny human maneuvered her way around technology.

Yohan didn’t know it since she had been in her coma, but this was a normal routine for Ella, so she was a little surprised when Ella crawled up on the bed again and cuddled into Yohan’s side as she started the movie.

Yohan still wasn’t sure of what she was allowed to do. She didn’t know if she was allowed to touch or cuddle Ella. She didn’t want Ella to feel uncomfortable with her closeness. She soon forgot to worry about it when Ella laid her head on Yohan’s stomach a few minutes into the movie. Yohan had found herself so immersed in it and in the comfort of having her daughter with her that she hadn’t noticed she had absently started playing with Ella’s hair.

They rewatched the movie three times before switching to Frozen. By then Ella had tucked herself into Yohan’s side again and this time Yohan had held her close.

“Do you wanna build a snow man. It doesn’t have to be a snowman.” Yohan sang.

“Go away Anna.” Ella retorted, she even made a cute angry face at Yohan.

“Okay byeeee.” Yohan sang back and pouted.

They giggled at each other as they kept acting out the parts in the movie.

They both fell asleep before the end.

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A/N:

I’m on a roll I’ve been obsessed with writing this so much, send me goodluck that I don’t get writers block and I just finish this in one go!

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