Semblance- ASHTON IRWIN

Bad Omens.

Avanas POV: October 31st, 2022.

7:00pm

"Umm, so do you have your costume for tonight?" Emryn asks, looking at me through the mirror we stood in front of as she wraps her long hair around the hot curling iron.

I stop applying my makeup, my eyes staring at her with a look of confusion, "why wouldn't I, dork?" I laugh, even with all of the shit that's gone down, I did manage to pull myself together enough to grab a costume."

"Sorry," Emryn let's out a small chuckle, "I'm really just trying to make a casual conversation, this is one of the first times I've been able to talk to you one on one since Hawaii."

We arrived back to LA after the Hawaii show, Ashton and I continuing to be radio silent to one another since that night.

I haven't tried talking to him at all, but he hasn't looked my way either.

We were both so full of self determination, it seemed as if we couldn't swallow our own pride.

I couldn't lie to myself though, the thought of us never talking again killed me.

He was like a constant reminder of all the good and bad things in my life, and it felt as if he was like nicotine to me.

I was constantly feening for that vapor he had become in my life, and I wanted to breath it in all the time.

He has become my addiction, and I was getting weak without my fix.

"So what are you wearing tonight?" Emryn asks, breaking me from my own world of thoughts.

"Oh," I shrug, "I found this really pretty two piece dress, it's light blue and sparkly, so I just figured I'd go as Cinderella."

"Oh I bet that it's gorgeous." Emryn grins, before humming to herself, "and that son of a bitch will see it too."

I return her smile, going back to the mirror and finishing my eyes.

I just couldn't believe he didn't think I would ever find out about those pills.

What the hell was he thinking? Doing those when I was right around the corner from him at all times.

Well, you weren't Avana.

If he was being truthful, saying he's been clean off them for the last few months...

That means he was on them when I was with Luke.

I noticed his behavior, the sudden twist in emotions as we continued the tour.

His anger and hatred he said he had for me was all just a facade. It wasn't really him.

It was the hydros the entire time.

"I'm going to go get changed," Emryn says, puckering her lips one time in the mirror before turning to me, "party starts at eight, so be ready when I come back."

"Got it." I nod.

As soon as the door to the bedroom shuts, my hands grasp tightly to the counter top, the feeling of shutting down hitting me once more.

It comes in waves, really.

And the feeling was almost as if I was homesick.

Homesick for a place I wasn't even sure existed.

A place where I wanted my heart to be pure and full again.

Where my brain and body are loved,

And my soul understood.