2: In Your Shadow - Evan Peters

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I woke up the next morning on the floor, to a soft tapping on my shoulder. I had almost forgotten the events of last night, until I opened my eyes to see Evan with a tear soaked face crouched down beside me. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands, still unsure of the man in front of me, who'd taken me by the throat last night over after leaving me all on my own.

"Baby?" He said softly, trying to hold my hand. I snatched it from his grasp, nervously chewing on my bottom lip as he sat cross legged across from me in just a t shirt and sweats. He seemed calm, but I wasn't going to take any chances.

"What?" I asked softly, bowing my head away from his gaze.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me last night, that wasn't me," he said just above a whisper, his hand reaching out again, but this time I let him hold it. Looking up at his distraught face again, I saw his absolute sincerity, the man I'd fallen in love with remorseful for putting his hands on me last night.

I fought with myself, knowing that I didn't deserve how he treated me last night regardless of what I'd done, and what he ended up doing last night was also information I hadn't gotten. But I also knew I had no where else to go here in LA, and with the guilt I'd built from giving in to Todd's kiss, I had to at least talk to him about what happened.

"I don't get it Evan," I finally let out, my throat sore and dry from crying, "you've never done that to me before,"

"I know baby, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking stupid, I went to that after party last night and I wish I didn't go, they pressured me into snorting a line-"

"What?" I asked, utterly shocked that Evan had revealed to me that he'd done cocaine of all drugs.

"Listen baby, never again okay? I should've just said no and gone home, I felt like I was letting everyone down,"

"What about me Evan? Aren't I all that matters?" I said softly, a fresh tear rolling down my cheek.

"C'mon don't cry angel," he scooped me up in his arms and brought me into his bedroom, laying me softly on the bed. He held me by the waist, letting me bury my head into his toned chest. I listened closely to his heartbeat, and it almost made everything feel okay.

"I love you, I love you so fucking much, please, don't leave," Evan whispered into my hair as his fingers combed through it. I hummed in response, still conflicted, still feeling the ghost of his fingers wrapped around my throat.

"You hurt me Evan," I replied, fiddling with the hem of his t shirt hoping it would calm me down.

"I hate myself for it Alex, I'm such an idiot, I know I don't deserve you, and I fucked up, but- maybe I'm selfish because- I can't lose you," his grip around my waist tightened as his spoke, holding me close to him like he was stopping me from getting up and running away.

I felt like I've heard it all before, and nothing ever got any easier, no matter how many times he promised me. I knew I couldn't afford to leave LA all together, but something compelled me to just want to go home and see my parents.

"I think I'm gonna go away for a few days, clear my head," I said, sitting up and turning back to look at Evan. He looked devastated, scared of losing me because of his stupid mistake.

"Are you gonna come back?" He asked softly, sitting up with me and taking my cold hand in his.

"Yeah," I said, although I wasn't too sure. It felt like everything around me was slowly falling apart, and some time back home might fix it all.

"I think I'm gonna fly back to Missouri, just for a bit, I miss home," I confessed, not only thinking about my parents, but Lucas and Amaya too.

"I get it," he said, "I miss home too, things felt.. simpler," he said, as I got up off the bed.

"I think I'm going to find some tickets now, try and fly out tonight," I said quickly, leaving the room to retrieve my phone. It still scared me to turn my back to Evan, since he was so unpredictable.

I utilised my afternoon booking cheap flights and arranging my belongings. Finding tickets to Missouri was the easy part, I even booked a cab to take me to the airport. Leaving Evan, and letting UCLA know I needed some time to do study off campus, wasn't. For the most part UCLA understood and so did Evan, Evan being a little harder to convince.

"I'll take you Lex, don't worry about a cab," Evan insisted, as I packed a bag to take home with me. I shook my head in response, finally zipping it up and pulling it onto the floor by the handle.

"No Ev, I think it's best if I go on my own," I confessed, not looking him in the eye as I made it to his front door, suitcase in tow. He followed quickly behind me, grabbing onto my elbow as I went to open the front door. I flinched, as his hand dropped almost immediately.

"This isn't goodbye is it? I'll see you soon?" He sounded fearful, his eyes doe like and glassy. I nodded with a tight lipped smile, caving when he pulled me in for a hug. I savoured his scent, nuzzling my head into the shoulder of his t shirt. In many ways I didn't want to go, but I knew it would be the best thing for me right now.

"Let me know when you land okay? I'll wait for your message," Evan said, as I stood in the doorway.

"Okay, I will," I answered shortly, before turning on my heels and retreating to the elevator. I didn't turn back, keeping my focus on what was in front of me, and not on Evan who was probably moping in the hallway.

The cab arrived as scheduled, and helped me pack my suitcase in the boot of the car. I sat in the backseat, buckling my seatbelt and staring emotionlessly out the window. My heart sank as he drove away, my vision now occupied by my hands in my lap as I bowed my head. I knew it would be Dana I'd be with right now, and that she'd tell me to leave him and never look back. It reminded me of how quickly things could change.

...

The plane ride was only 4 hours. In that time I thought of how I'd be received when I got to St Louis, and if Lucas got my message saying I'd be at the airport around 8, if he'd come and get me. I made sure I sent Evan a quick text like I'd promised, and left it at that. I didn't want to talk to him in the days I was here.

I got a message notification and sighed before I looked down at my phone again.

I can see u! :)

I looked up, wheeling my suitcase to the arrival entrance, when I saw Lucas, standing next to Amaya and holding a bouquet of flowers. It was definitely a sight for sore eyes, and even though I didn't think i could cry anymore, tears began falling down my blushed cheeks.

I almost dropped my suitcase as I ran towards the pair, falling into Lucas's open arms and letting him pick me up and spin me around. Nothing could beat this moment.

"Holy shit I missed you," Lucas breathed out, putting me down so I could embrace Amaya. I hugged her long and hard, before wiping my eyes with my sleeve and smiling at the two of them.

"I missed you guys too, more than you could know,"

"You must be hungry, let's go get something to eat, and then we can chat about everything," Amaya suggested, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and guiding me out of the airport, as Lucas trailed behind us with the flowers and the suitcase.

I was so glad to be home.