2: In Your Shadow - Evan Peters

Tell Me This Isn't Goodbye

I sat across from Lucas, who was trying to conceal his anxiety with a small smile. We sat in silence, in his flat, just waiting.

"There's no way right?" I tried to laugh away my nervousness, chewing my bottom lip.

"No, it's probably just like- you're just not well," he laughed along with me but it sounded forced.

I'd missed my period and after not being able to keep down my food, Lucas insisted I take a pregnancy test. It was futile, I thought, but he thought it was a good idea to cross it off the list. I couldn't fathom having a child right now.

"How long has it been?"

"15 minutes, I think,"

My heart hammered in my chest as I went to wipe my clammy palms down the front of my t shirt. Taking a deep breath, I approached the test that was sitting on the dining table, mentally trying to prepare myself for the worst.

"Lex?"

Lucas stood up, approaching me from behind and placing a hand on my shoulder. I flipped the test over, with his support, and both of our eyes went wide in surprise.

"Is that...?" Lucas moved to stand next to me, taking the test from my hands and holding it up to the light.

"Yeah," I mumbled, breathing a sigh of relief, I don't think I've ever felt anything like this, terrified and then totally at ease. Knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about a child right now took a big weight off my shoulders.

"Thank fuck," Lucas laughed in disbelief, dropping the test onto the table and embracing me in his arms. I hugged him, my smile pressing against the fabric of his t shirt. His heart was racing just as fast as mine was.

"I think we can narrow it down to stress," I said, picking up the test again to dispose of it in the trash can.

"You shouldn't worry about him Alex, he's done it to himself," Lucas shakes his head disapprovingly, following me to the sofa to sit down.

"I know, I can't help it, he's a completely different person, and I have to go back to LA in a few days, and without Dana or Evan, I don't know where I'm going to stay," I replied, sighing in frustration, holding my head in my hands.

"Hey, look, we'll find somewhere for you, where's Elliot staying? Did he ever hear about.. you know," Lucas cleared his throat awkwardly, finding it still hard to bring up Dana's betrayal.

"Evan ended up ringing him and telling him, I checked up on him afterwards but not really since, he's moved out so- I'm not sure where he is," I confessed, "I don't think that's an option anyway."

"Why not? I mean- you're still friends right?" Lucas asked hopefully.

"Yeah of course.. I mean I think so," I said, running a hand frustratingly over my face and inhaling deeply.

"How about.. Todd?" Lucas suggested, raising his eyebrows at me in question. I only let out a small laugh, knowing that it was a bit awkward now between us after we shared a moment.

"I can try him, I might ring him now actually," I got up from the edge of the bed and padded over to my phone.

"Just stay here, with us," Lucas groaned, although he knew all too well that wasn't a real option. I turned to face him, sticking out my tongue as my phone began to ring.

"Hello? Lex?"

—-

The flight back to LA was lonely and it felt like it went on forever. When I had finally arrived at the airport, I felt this sudden overwhelming sense of dread knowing I was now in the same city as Evan. He could be anywhere, at any time, and I wouldn't have a clue if I was about to bump into him.