The Backbone

Chapter 21

Adam's POV

When we get back from America I am still really worried about Tommy. He still is not eating much, and he hasn't come out of our room for 3 days. The first day I wasn't worried as I know he said he wanted me all to himself but now he wants to be alone and that is what's worrying me. What if he does something stupid again when I am not in there? I have kept it to myself for a few hours and I have gone to check on him every half hour but all he does is lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling, he doesn't even talk to me when I ask him something and I know that Edna is getting worried as I think she knows there is something wrong but I am awaiting Tim and Ant to get back from getting the shopping so I can see if he will open up to Anthony. I know those 2 are close so I am going to ask him if he can talk to him if not, I am taking him to the doctor to see if he will open up to a professional.

As I was sitting in my office thinking I hear a door close and I hear the shower run in our bathroom and I know it's Tommy so I get up to go and check on him again but I get caught up by Edna asking me if she can go and stay with Andy tonight as he wants her to meet his parents and I say yes as it will give me more time to figure out what is happening with Tommy.

As I finished with her, I hear Tim and Anthony come home so I go and see if I can see Anthony so he can maybe talk to him.

I walk downstairs and into the kitchen to see them packing the shopping away and Tim looks up and says, "hey mate how's Tommy"? I look at him and shake my head and say "still not talking to me only staring at the ceiling. I just heard the shower turn on, so I know at least he is up having a shower, but I'm still worried about him he is closing himself off and I don't like that". Anthony looks up and he says "mate do you want me to talk to him see if he will open up to me. He might talk to me"? I look at him and say, "do you mind I am so worried about him"? Anthony shakes his head and walks up the stairs.

I turn to Tim and start to help him put away the shopping and I say to him "I will give you some cash when I go to the bank maybe tomorrow". He nods his head and says, "it's ok mate you have your hands full with your husband and he takes priority at the moment". I nod my head and see Edna walk in and say "ok papa I'm going Andy is here and I will see you tomorrow some time. I love you and tell dad that I love him to". I nod my head and start to walk my baby girl to the door just as the doorbell rings. I open it up to see Andy standing there and I say, "hey mate please look after my baby girl for us"? He nods his head and says "always. I won't let anything happen to her. How is Tommy today I know Edna said he wasn't good last night"? I shake my head and say, "still not good but I am watching him".

We say our goodbye and they walk out the door towards Andy's car. As I was about to turn around, I hear Anthony scream out to us. Tim and I flew up the stairs and ran into my bedroom to see Anthony standing in the doorway. He looks at Tim and says, "babe where is Edna I don't want her to see this"? Tim looks at him and says "just went out with Andy and won't be back until tomorrow some time. Why"? Anthony says "Tommy tried to overdose again and when that didn't work, he started cutting again. We need an ambulance here now I am trying to stop the bleeding". I stand there shocked and not moving hearing that my husband has tried to kill himself again.

I am taking out of my thoughts when Tim leads me over to the bed while talking to the ambulance. I sit there with tears running down my face knowing that I have failed him yet again. If he leaves me this time, I wouldn't blame him, I am a bad husband and don't deserve someone as sexy and beautiful as my glitter baby. I just sit on the bed thinking about my sexy husband and all the good things we did together and all the fights we had. I must mumble "it's my entire fault. I'm sorry I'm a bad husband baby".

I feel Tim take my hand and he says "Addy it's not your fault, it's his families and his ex-girlfriends as they are so fucked up, so please don't blame yourself. He will be ok Ant has him and the ambulance is on its way". I look up and jump up to try and make my way into the bathroom but they both fight me back and Ant says, "Addy I don't think you should see this". I was just about to push my way in the bathroom when the doorbell sounds again and Tim says, "you get it Addy please". I can hear the pleading tone in his voice so I run downstairs to open the door and let the paramedics in so they can save my sexy glitter baby.

I lead them upstairs to my bedroom and when they get there, they ask what happened and Anthony says "he lost his mother about a week ago and we only got back home a couple of days ago. He has stayed in this room for the past 3 days. The first 2 days his husband was by his side but last night he wouldn't talk to anyone and every time someone checked on him all he was doing was staring at the ceiling. I walked in before to see if I can talk to him, but I found him like this, so I grabbed some towels and put them against his wounds, so he doesn't lose too much blood". They nod their heads, and they say, "are you his husband"? I look up and say "no I am his husband. I'm Adam Lambert my husband is Tommy Joe Lambert". They nod their heads and kneel down to check over my baby. I still have not seen him all I can see is his feet. I can't bring myself to see him because I know if I do then it will kill me inside.

They take my sexy baby to the hospital and I ride in the back with him holding onto his leg the whole way. Just as we got to the hospital, I hear a noise and the paramedics say, "he has flat lined". I hear that and collapse onto the ground as they wheel my dying husband into the emergency. I feel Tim grab my hands and he says, "come on mate be strong for him please he needs you". I shake my head and say, "it's too late he died just as we got to the hospital". With that said I burst into tears and I feel 2 arms go around me and Ant says to Tim "babe what happened"? Tim says to him "apparently he died just as they got to the hospital, but I am going to find out are you right taking him inside and to a chair while I find out what is going on"? I feel Tim moves his arms and then I am lead inside the hospital and into a chair. Anthony sits beside me and says, "I will get you a coffee soon mate when Tim comes back, I will go and get us one". I nod my head and just look down at me wedding ring and twist it around my finger. I know I will never love anyone as much as I love Tommy. Tommy is my life and I have just lost my soul mate.

I feel the tears start down my face once again and I think of how I am going to tell our baby girl that her dad died because I wasn't with him. I will have to ring Andy and see if he can bring her to the hospital so she can say goodbye.

I feel someone sit beside me and I look up to see Tim and he says "they are still working on him mate. I'm sorry". I nod my head and get up from my chair and make my way outside. I need air.

I start to walk outside and don't really take much notice of where I am going. I am just walking until I hear a car horn and turn to see a car coming towards me. I just stand there not comprehending anything until I hear someone shout my name and the car hits me as I turn to see who called me. I black out just as my head hits the road.