𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙉 𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃

Chapter 17

I and my siblings know our mother well when it comes down to me introducing women to her; Olivia was bewildered by all of them laughing, that in the end just made me uncomfortable. "Ma, we're not in London, okay?—she's my girlfriend now, and soon she's not going to be Olivia Sandoval anymore, so have no reason to even think about restricting me because I'm old enough—let's bury it all in the past, okay?" She was laughing at my words, and I won't interrupt my mother from doing it, even if the idea doesn't agree with me, and it looks like we were going to be just fine. I think she's already chosen the one I wanted to marry in the future, but then, she unexpectedly excuse herself while I was still speaking; no one could tell why she just left the dinner table.

Olivia's lips have also lost their grin. She wasn't sure if my mother really wanted her for me, or if she now wanted me to love someone else instead. "I warned you that Mama was usually like that." She grew irritated at my mother's reaction instead of smiling at me and continued not to calm down no matter what I say. "Did I mention that like your mother's life, we were essentially the same? Supporting our family and having to get to work as early, spending a lot of time with people that don't truly accept us? We all have our reasons for why we don't seem to like or even get along with people, don't we?"

With tears in our eyes, we kissed each other goodbye. Our relationship had only lasted two days when Mama disrupted the peacefulness. Why her? Why? In my heart, Olivia is a kind, intelligent, attractive woman who has been good to me. What else about her does even Mama find wanting or too much? Why did she behave that way? She's again being ruined by her actions. I mean, mothers don't do things like that.

I arrived back home and I spoke with Mama. I'm not going to keep my feelings to myself regarding what she did, because before we permanently leave back in London; this is my only chance to make my own decision and the certainty that your mother has much to say to you all the time can be a very difficult one to bear — that has to do with your actions and choices in life. And only in simply telling her, I must step in and take a stance. Whatever she's doing here is unfair and hurts people. "Hey, Ma, what happened back there? I thought Olivia and you were both doing okay—could she have a problem in any way?" Yet she was unable to reply; she avoided expressing a picture of the problem and was unwilling to talk about it. Leaving her in her room, I was at a loss for words, as another evening is feared once more, about what she might be thinking again.

The next day, I asked Grandma to take Trev and Eli for a stroll because I wanted to talk to my mother when she woke up. Just the two of us. I waited patiently looking at the garden and sipping my coffee, thinking about what I was going to say to her, to avoid any further uproar mainly with what occurred just last night. When she appeared from her room, she only had a clue as to why the house was relatively quiet. I looked her in the eyes and welcomed her to a brunch conversation, and she eventually accepted it, though feeling distressed.

"Where have they gone? I checked inside Trev's room but he wasn't there." She murmured as she settled into her seat, offering me some cinnamon-scented pancakes and another cup of coffee. But I didn't wait much longer and told her what I wanted to talk about straight away. I wasn't surprised, however, that she already knew why the house was so empty. It's like one of her déjà vus, she said. And now I got her cornered just so she can't find any reason to avoid the situation. "John Sandoval —that's name, and I have a hunch he and Olivia are relatives as our old house was not too far from where they live." Just because two people have the same last name doesn't necessarily mean that they are related and Olivia's proximity to my real father's house does not imply that they are kin. It does not guarantee that it is highly possible. However, everything becomes imaginable, now that she finally talks about it.

I should completely stop feeling anything for Olivia, she argued, insisting that she doesn't intend to upset me. I am, however, already here and invested and had been looking forward to telling Olivia that I love her for how many years. So long that I have been foolishly waiting for the chance to be with her and hoping that she would eventually forget Nikko? But she still wants someone else, so how am I supposed to be able to do that?

"Is his name John? How is it that you're just telling me now?—I've asked you, Ma —oh so many times. I wish I had chosen not to love the only person who appreciated me if you had just warned me earlier." Mama's timing was so off. I would have let Olivia fall in love with Nikko if my mother had just told me sooner. Though I didn't want to, I'll let her go no matter how much I even love her.

To confirm my mother's story, I went to Olivia's house early the said afternoon without her having to know. I'm almost set for the facts, despite my reluctance to confront Liv's parents with the reality of things and asked her parents about John, where they had neither any excuse for being reticent to speak directly. Just about my estranged father, John Sandoval. "Everyone calls him John and sometimes Jo — he's my cousin. Why are you asking about him in any way?" I didn't say anything more than what Olivia's father had already stated, perhaps once about Mama who knows them. After that brief conversation, I somehow left their house to go and get Olivia from her job.

After all, isn't this just a small world? Whoever truly cares for their partners are those who are still not free to love each other. And what could be sadder than that? I was still pondering about what I had just learned when I went and picked Olivia up after work. The entire trip has gone strangely quiet, and I was unable to utter a word of the constant fear of losing our relationship. Of losing her. But then again, right from the top of  my head, that's telling me: "This is a tragic mistake."

Liv's heart would be broken if I did that, likewise, be honest with her. I, therefore chose to leave the country yet again, without the need for goodbye. Her undoubted hatred of me for knowing I left her is better and easier to know, rather than wanting to continue with these thoughts and feelings that the law of eternal bliss forbids—because now, our blood is the only thing that ties us together. Everything is such a mess!