𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙉 𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃

Chapter 4

When Tito mentioned that Mama was missing, I was genuinely shocked and worried. On her children's side, Mama simply disappeared right during Dad's birthday. Has she still not fully moved on? She is taking steps that will seriously affect not just herself but also us, her children. "Where are you, Ma?"

I made countless contacting Mama's phone, and even if I had to pay for it to hear her defend what she did, I would always pay attention to her. She shouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing her man. She is greater than this. Me and my siblings were all fostered by her. How else is she going to get through this trial that affects her emotions and thoughts? If I ever find her, I swear I would say sorry to her, ask for forgiveness, and give up everything to make her laugh once more. But because only her husband can make her smile, we might not be enough to keep the grin here with us. “Only ” her beloved.
 
I got all the details on my return flight to London when Tito called the hotel the following time. Since I am still searching for answers to my questions, I am not yet prepared to leave. What can I do if I want to stay? I have to take care of my siblings because I'm the oldest and a grownup, and they need me. Me alone. I reverted to becoming everyone's father rather than prioritizing myself. I sometimes find it hard to understand why now or some other time when I could have the chance to be the first, put myself first, and not be careless. I'm just starting to put my fragmented personality back altogether.

I was unsure and concerned about my brother and sister when I got back to London. I find it difficult to get over my fear for Mama and where she is right now because she has never been away from us for more than a day given her commitments to the café and her daily life in Wales. We were unaware of what Mama committed. She had never done this before, or perhaps she may have had a terrible incident and required the assistance of the authorities. Knowing Mama, though, I am certain that she was not kidnapped since I am convinced that up to this point, her sanity and her ability to see a bright future were being stolen by the loss of a loved one.

I came back with a heavy heart, but there was nothing I could do because I knew my family needed me now, especially my siblings. On my arrival, I found the house in great disarray, and I could scarcely see it as it had been when I last left.

I've only been away a short while, but no matter where I go, I always get into problems. My siblings and I had to report Mama's disappearance to the police after she had been missing for two days. However, the police who went looking for her and investigated her disappearance claim there are no outward indications that she was taken against her will, kidnapped, or taken somewhere else because all of her stuff is complete and lying where Mama typically puts them and leaves them. But as I had anticipated, I noticed that one of Dad's paintings hanging on the house wall was gone, and I had a strange feeling about it. No one noticed, or was Mama going to sell each item her late husband owned individually?

There's an unfinished sketch made by Dad that seems to have a meaning somehow that only I can understand. I don't even know if I'm just getting bitterly in the middle of the investigation, but even that sketch is no longer here, no longer in the house. Out of nowhere, I saw that Trev was holding a piece of paper, which was among our parents' hidden belongings. "Look at Dad's things, Kuya—Mom hid it somewhere. We need to find Mama!"

I can't help but wonder why Trev knows where all of Dad's old stuff is. He's always tampering with everything, even his music items, which are all outdated.

All of the items that we retrieved from Mom and Dad were placed on the table. They were not only centuries old, but also quite dusty, which would worsen the asthma that poor brother already had. The letters that could be able to lead us to our mother's whereabouts came back to us as we read and checked everything that was set out on the huge table. Even though we are unaware that the phone numbers we are calling are much too old to have even one person answer our call, and because they are probably a few years older than me, we continue reaching every number that is listed in their phone book. And Eli started crying while we were still doing our investigation, and so we were overwhelmed by her distress. more so between the three of us. She is Mama's favorite and constantly supports her in each pageant she competes in. Trev's response was the exact opposite; every time I stare at him, he just returned my gaze with an inquisitive, inquiring look. It appears that he doesn't care for anything and fakes it as he does.

I don't like the way he looks at me; I think he has no interest in these things, and I think he doesn't want to find our mother, so I ask, "Why are you looking at me like that? Do you personally believe Mama has left us?" Should I blame him? Should I compel him somehow? I'm not even sure, to be honest. Since we're about to emerge from the lake we're in, the only thing I know for sure is that he should set aside his feelings of resentment towards our mother first.

At night before we went to bed, I called Trev for a chat about what he thought was going on. I believe Mama has a strong reason, unlike ours, that we only run to Dad's grave when we're about to explode. "How old are you again, Kuya? — Nineteen? Ah, twenty!—and I'm only fifteen, and Eli is too young for Mama to leave us. For me, if she wants to leave, let her go! It's up to... it's up to her, whether she wants to come back or not." Only now, after spending days with Trev, did I see in him what he seemed to have felt for Mama for a long time. I don't know when he was thinking about the things he said. If he was still angry with our mother, was he really angry? It's hard to read Trev's mind, but I'm the older one, I should stop him from feeling what he's feeling before it becomes an outburst of full drama. But should I even do that?

One day, we got a text message from an unknown number letting us know that Mama was in the Philippines. When we called Tito Paulo to clarify, he informed us that Mama had not yet shown up. We decided to phone the people who could give us the right assistance and information about her whereabouts at different places and times. My patience is beginning to wane. My mother mysteriously disappeared like a puff, and I can't shake the thought that she would abandon us without having to say goodbye. The fear was evident in my siblings' eyes. They felt vulnerable at the time. But as a big brother to them, I decided to eventually leave Wales to defend their feelings. Not just during Dad's formative years, this place has brought us a great deal of misery. Given that Dad's father and he are now together, they might feel the same way. It appears that this house has been tormented, and whoever is left in its care will not be as delighted as the melancholy that Dad's father must have ended up feeling when he was buried alone and in his lowly isolation. And I'm not going to stand by and let these things come just because.

Life must go on, right? Even though there are still good memories that this place brought to the three of us, there was more pain that it gave us, which retaliated by drowning us in floods of overflowing tears.

Mama's Cafè, which had progressively established and grown due to her commercial acumen, was likewise closed along with the old house. We even left Mama a letter to read in case she returns home or decides to stop by for a short visit. Finally, after everything, we made our way back to the Philippines. I gently reminded my siblings while holding their hands that everything would be alright even if things changed from the way they had been. Our only primary concern would always be grateful and be happy no matter what.