𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙉 𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃

Chapter 18

Even though it sucks, I'm truly leaving for good. I will continue to put the welfare of everyone in my circle of family and friends before my own, and that is how it has always been and how it is right now.

It would just be wrong not to bid Olivia a proper goodbye. Even when I felt like saying it and staying with her, it would be inappropriate and just be oblivious that we are cousins. We are family. And since touching her would be a curse and a sin, I would not want to confuse her or the entire bloodline. God, please forgive us.

A few hours later, we arrived at the airport, and I took a quick check of the incredibly crowded view, which was equally stressful as the things I was struggling to think about; possibly in search of a solution. In a short while, I'll be leaving the Philippines, the country of my birth and the place where my family is from; the place where it all began. Now if my memory serves me correctly, this is where I also evolved, managed to learn nearly everything I needed to know about life, and grew up to be who I am today.

I'll go back down the path my mother once walked. Nevertheless, I believed that it would be a fresh start. Only when I felt depressed all of a sudden, that I didn't dare to even hide my real thoughts from Mama as she approached me, "Are you alright, Mike?" She asked me how I felt but I don't simply assume this is just about how overwhelmed I am feeling— especially at times whenever we take a trip to one or two locations numerous times. She might be asking a much broader question.

She asked me about what I would want to do, but I simply wasn't feeling it. I thought after I left them in Wales and journeyed to America, I was heartbroken and deeply sorry—and I'm here —just because I want to fulfill the dream I had somehow accomplished. But then my feet felt like they were trying to drag me in a different direction over again. And currently, it is not going back to Wales, but staying in this wonderful place. I was torn between wanting to leave and trusting my gut feeling. I struggled just because when it comes to decision-making, this emotion tends to make me unfortunate and ineffective, but I still tried. "Ma, I would like to find him—I'm curious to know more about my father, and I'm not going to let myself down again I'll never leave Wales again if we somehow mistake him for someone else." She only managed to give me a pat on the back and some motherly embrace rather than trying to answer me. My siblings later gave us silent gazes, and their expressions conveyed the significance of those hugs — I could tell they were dejected by the sadness in their eyes, as though they wanted to believe I would abandon them soon. But that is just highly unlikely to happen.

She afterward grabbed a little folded piece of paper and began to talk to me whilst — nearly crying. "Mike, you can find him right here at this address." My siblings were familiar with the environment and how much I wanted this dream to come to fruition, so I had tears of happiness in my eyes as I bid them goodbye. And later awaited their chance to board the plane before leaving to get a taxi and rushing to see my father at last. As I drifted to the place I was ready to go to on a very busy street, I wondered whether my father would simply accept me as his son, much precisely what I had and would have long anticipated, to tell him that I am the other half of his entire self and wellbeing? How I'd want it.

On a busy street, the taxi stopped, and just as I reached the inner courtyard, I was met by cornered houses. Once I got to the exact house that the folks I asked on the way pointed out to me, I heaved a sigh of relief, but then it suddenly occurred to me that no one was there; nothing indicates that anyone was still currently living here, or ththereerhaps another person had already rented it.

I had a friendly chat with an elderly woman who allowed me to ask a few questions about my father's whereabouts, but I was flummoxed by her reply. "Oh, no one lives there anymore; it's been a while. My son told me one of the only pieces of information I have— he relocated to a distant city. However, I am completely unsure of his current residence." Then the woman left me soon, whilst also my father had just left the house, so I kind of opted to leave as well and sit in silence back home. "Where is my dad right now?" If I visit the place, the woman encourages me to seek him, I'm certain I won't run into him pretty soon. Meanwhile, I thought about calling Olivia, who yelled at me so furiously.

Just before having to tell her almost everything, I expressed remorse and simply told her that something had just gone up. Only then did she urge me to personally meet with her and openly discuss it, after she later discovered that I was no longer accompanying Mama and my younger siblings to where we are all supposed to be.

I went and finally confronted Olivia and her family, sincerely apologizing in front of them. But because I was so enthusiastic to have almost found the person I had been searching for for a very long time, I no longer hesitated for a moment to admit to them what I know. Besides that, I felt anxious that perhaps my questions will not be answered, and to avoid making things worse, I had to lie and tell them the bits of the truth. "I am sure that my previous sudden disappearance from you was a foolish mistake. However, I can say with certainty that I have no regrets about doing it — because, Liv, our fathers are cousins. The biological father that I have been looking for is, John Sandoval.

Even I struggled to accept that we shared something more, than the relationship with the woman I loved and cared about. I could see their surprise and how Olivia broke down in tears when she knew, and they are understanding that I cannot simply lie about it to them, since they are acquainted with my life's story and what I've been yearning for in the world. I still need to find out the truth about it though; to meet the person who is one of the reasons I exist.

Instead of pushing me away, Olivia seemed to accept the truth with open arms, which, even if it was painful for us, we had to accept and face. He convinced his father: "Should I give up on Mike now? Do we know what he's going through? —I love Mike, and I'll continue to love him even if we're related by blood—not even as lovers; even as just best friends." We immediately convinced Olivia's father, and he called his other relatives who were still connected to my father. But none of those who called could tell me where he was, as if he went missing and couldn't be found, so we started contacting people who can help us find him.

For the last time, I had to touch and feel Olivia's hand again. Because now that everything is clear to me, the future of both of us can be just as unclear, which we did not intend. That we have no control over.

We were just the result of a certain quiet but selfless love, but given the circumstances, I don't even know what the reason was. Did Mama also love my father as much as she loved my dad until now? And based on Olivia's father's stories, my father seems to be a very kind and shy individual. I just hope I have inherited something from him.

The following day, I went straightaway to Olivia's home to enquire, and much to my surprise, I didn't understand why is that Nikko was outside of their home, and had just sent my "cousin" home from work. There's no doubt how much I still like Liv, despite my efforts to shortly alter how I regard her. And even if the wind blew differently for each one of us, I will not ever forget that Nikko is a horrible person to her.

He turned to face me when we finally met outside the home of the woman we still are fighting for. "What do you think you are doing here, Mike? You already left Olivia behind, didn't you?—such a bastard!" When Nikko was about to hit me; the moment his fist was poised to get in my face, I fortunately fought and tried to dodge it, up till I got back at him. Then the gate of Olivia's house opened unexpectedly amid everything, and Olivia got to witness my encounter with Nikko. But Nikko had yet to stop, notwithstanding her cries of pain, and despite my best efforts to defend myself, he kept beating my face with his delicate hands.

"Stop right now! I'll call the police if you don't stop! —and so this time you'll be thrown in prison." Nikko let go of me pretty fast and turned his back on everyone. We knew he has plans to do something horrible because otherwise, his grins would make no sense after what happened. He does seem to understand that he may have gone on to win. But does he realize he's won? If he ever does, I will never, ever let him be with Liv, even how much he eventually comes to realize how precious she is.

After a night of outrageous fighting, Olivia's father told me afterward that they had spoken to my father, who was still in Manila. However, no sooner did we call, his phone inconsistently rings without a response. I'm starting to lose faith that we might just be dialing the wrong person and won't be able to reach the person I'm looking for.