𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙉 𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃

Chapter 3

Why were they taking so long? I simply thought. The saddest thing is that I'm not even noted, so they must have been savoring their brief trip back to the Philippines too much. If Destiny's game tried to prevent you from uncovering the answers to your questions, it would undoubtedly find a means to prevent you from scoring any goals. So unacceptable.

For a second, I felt the adrenaline and excitement that they were still in the Philippines. It's like I want to follow them and be with all our family members that I've never seen for such a long time. It's like I've been left out, because I thought it would be a great pleasure to step into this school, a prestigious school, but I don't know if it's even right for me. It was hard to make a sudden decision, so I preferred to let a few months pass, and I continued to improve my life in America. It was then time to find out if I was in what they call the "Magic 12". As the clock ticks, the sunlight fades in place of the full moon as I prepared myself to face the truth.

While I still work hard to maintain my academic progress, become a future architect, and enjoy my time on the basketball team while it lasts, I considered doing something to keep from running out of things to do to benefit from the scholarship they've given me. When the inevitable day comes that I leave the team, which is likely to happen, I've learnt to look for new skill sets that I can employ. I'm not as intelligent as mathematicians and physicists, I can't sing or act, and in other areas where I might succeed and be eligible for scholarships. I tried everything I could, but nothing worked, and I didn't feel like forging ahead.

I think Trev is the only one blessed out of us, and although I know Eli is also smart and very beautiful, what did I have to compare with those two? I guess I only know how to spin the ball, and not the minds of others. Can I fool them with my talent if I'm not really the best? Who will see that I have potential? Either just Mom or Dad. But until that one fateful day, I found something useful to do when the weekend arrived. I feel that this is one of the great opportunities that will come my way. I hope that I am right with my decision.

There were rumors at the school a little less than a year ago about the freshmen who would join the basketball team. I awaited the moment once the coach would decide whether to keep my scholarship or revoke it if I got it wrong. And regrettably, I was not one of the individuals who had the privilege to be a part of the unnamed "Magic 12." With so many things going on, it appears like the dream I was pursuing so fervently has been left behind, and that dream is about to come to an end because I simply couldn't afford the extremely large tuition fee and other material necessities since I lost my scholarship. Because I was afraid of disappointing Mama or wasting the money I knew she would give me, I held off on telling her what was really going on. I don't have a wealthy Italian family like my siblings do, so I can't help but envy them. Simply put, I'm a straightforward Filipino man who lacks the tools necessary to discover who I am and I,  who must plan the course through life alone.

When I finished getting my papers back and decided to return to the UK, I suddenly thought of going to the pet shop and asking for more advice from my boss, and I realized that I should secretly go to the Philippines and ask for help from Tito Paulo, Dad's adoptive brother, and Grandma Ems' son.

As someone who was estranged from the people we loved in life, I begged Tito not to confess to Mama even though I knew he would do so soon. And now that I'm in a place where I can find the answers to all of my questions, I still think about the life I left behind in America, where I spent my entire life and all of my time, but which abruptly vanished because it seemed more like a longing than something I was truly dreaming about. Though it's encouraging to see. The fact that I'm back on an adventure in a foreign country—something I didn't want to do, but was powerless to stop—refreshes me. I took no action because fate brought me full circle.

The changes in my environment also affected the skills I possessed, particularly under Tito Paulo's supervision, who strongly reprimanded me and questioned my true motives for going home. You didn't make the cut for the tryouts? Hey, you're really great at what you're doing; just because you weren't included on the list doesn't mean you should stop doing what you've started. What will your mother think? Unless you have some other explanation, how did you end up here? I felt a bit uneasy about Tito questioning me, but I reassured him in my made-up story that I only tried to hide from Mama because of what happened recently at school, not even trying to tell him the bigger picture.

We agreed that while I still don't have the courage to confess to Mama what had happened, I would temporarily work as a bus boy at the hotel he owns. I also met his son, Tyler, who I just now remembered was my best friend when we were kids. During the time that I stayed under Tito Paulo's care and with Tyler doing the same thing, we made a tight bond, not only in our work at the hotel, but in things that only men understand. I also enrolled late at the same college that Tyler attended. I just didn't save much money from my allowance, and this time I tried to join the basketball team, which I immediately passed. My life in the Philippines is as difficult as cars going through potholes. I have almost done everything at the same time; study, work, and play. I can no longer go back this time. Only moving forward with my chosen decision is the way. I guess.

I hadn't realized how long I'd been around, and it was soon to be Dad's birthday. I was expecting Tito and his wife to leave for London, so fear and anxiety settled in my chest that they will just discover out where I really was. "Your Mother deserves to know what happened to you, and you know she's still overwhelmed because of what happened to your Dad up to this point, so don't put it off any longer." I instantly felt really bad for trying to get away and not confessing to them what really drove me to commit a mistake.

I'm sure Mama will be furious with me, to the point where she won't be able to forgive me for what I did, because I know she will be let down by all of her efforts and sacrifices for me. But it's now, I'm already here, and I have to take chances on what I've done or else where am I going? What will become of what I wanted? Do I always have to ask? I know Mama knows me best, what I am, who I am, and how my life should work, but in order for me to work and progress, I need something to propel me to the life that is designed for me. Without that specific element in my life, I am unsure if I will get at my destination, or if I will simply have an altercation without realizing it. I have a strong gut feeling that my father will share my perspective. The sensation is different when talking about your real father, with whom you want to know things like if you have similarities, like I have similarities with Mama, but I can't deny that dad gave me everything, nothing less, even too much. In order to cross the border of surprises, I need to tear down some walls, and I won't be able to do that if I feel dejected and give in to my fears about how my own mother will respond.

When Tito left for London, I had the time to go home to Mama's province, after finishing all my obligations in Bicol. I said goodbye to Tyler, and he immediately allowed me to go on a short vacation without any explanation as to why I couldn't take him with me. I searched like I was a lost person, until I stumbled upon places, but still nothing happened.

When the sun sets, the surroundings start to lose their natural sheen, and the entire place is enclosed by a meager light that came from a fluorescent bulb that was almost not noticeable from the direction I was passing, and I thought to myself, "What is this stuff I am doing? I honestly thought I had just been studying and working. Instead, I'm destroying my own life by taking the part of mine that I cannot find.

Another day was wasted and I just thought that I wish I hadn't listened to my former boss. I wish I had been a better student and fulfilled the dream I had nailed to the wall but not in my life. I slowly walked back to the pier where I would wait again for the trip back to Tito's province, as it was embarrassing to knock on my grandmother's door or on Mama's siblings'. While I was waiting for the next ride, my phone suddenly rang and I saw Tito Paulo calling from the hotel.

I called him back, but lost the signal at the coast. I just got on the barge, and it's impossible for us to understand if I answer his calls again. When I got to Bicol, that's when I thought of calling him again, and there was a trace of anger in Tito's voice as if I knew why "I've been calling you for a while!", "Where the hell are you? You have to go home! Your mom is missing!"