Chapter 9

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I made an effort to express the progression of my relationship with my biological father, and the ties we share not only with each other but also with my other half-brothers, nothing, however, could make me feel better because of their happiness for me, which I hoped my father's family would someday realize as well. I feel better for Eli that she does seem to be ecstatic about it, but Trev's strange silence shows that he still is indeed not. Or is it just that Eli said that he's been involved in fights and problems even in Italy? The three of us were still babbling about stuff hours later. Eli's name was being called by a familiar voice, and I couldn't help but think, if, six years after that long-drawn absence, Mama truly come back? Could she be home?

I want to keep them from squirming on the other end of the line so I can hear if someone is trying to call their names again. To have to listen to those voices anew felt surreal. I wasn't sure if I should ask my siblings about it right away, but I suppose I won't because they didn't seem to just tell me.

I quickly asked them about what was bothering me to get my mind off things and didn't hesitate any further. Besides, they couldn't lie to me because I am aware of their methods, "Are you being called by Mama?" Eli didn't say anything, but I could overhear her and Trev arguing on the other end of the phone, and I knew she wasn't responding directly to the situation. I wanted them to confirm what I thought so badly. It was impossible for me not to scream at them and ask whether Mama got back home.

After my siblings hung up on me, I can't help but feel resentful towards them. And now that I've upset them, I can't even try to talk to them either. Trev disrespected me by not picking up any of my calls, no matter how hard I tried to reach him. I simply got a text from him one day saying, "Please don't ask me how or why, as I don't even care that Mama is back home again. We've been back in Wales for six months already." Trev confirmed my concerns, I sighed once more, as if I had just recovered from a marathon where I had been sprinting to the finish line but had not claimed victory.

It's only two years before I can graduate from college. And I promised myself then that even if she comes back or not, I won't sacrifice everything I've started again and would rather take pleasure in the new life I have now.

Grandma didn't appear fussy or sensitive at all when I told her about Mama's comeback; she simply stroked my back while offering me some sensible advice. "It's okay if you don't agree with that right away; whatever your Mama's reason for leaving, I'm sure she'll have an explanation for it when she speaks to you. She abandoned you and your siblings, which still makes me frown at her, but respond positively to what she has to say. Every action has a purpose, grandson."

I temporarily forgot about Mama's comeback to pay attention to my studies and our upcoming games, which are my last, sadly. And to my astonishment, Olivia hasn't left my side since we found out that her best friend was already engaged to another woman. Every time we were together, I was always reminded of the day we first met, specifically when Nikko defied me about it.

Once, at an unexpected time and place, Nikko and I ran into each other, or each time it does, he always comes in hot, which was likely triggered by some alcohol that his tiny little brain had suppressed. You always dare to try to ruin people's lives, don't you realize? You got Papa first, after which, Olivia?" The first and last thing I remember him telling me until I passed out under the pressure of the strikes I received from him.

If only I had known what was going to ensue next, I wish I had at least stayed quiet and not looked like a panda in front of a lot of people. But I just reckoned that it's better for me to look like a panda to others than for Olivia to be restrained for her best friend's irreverence. And I mean, we are going to be best friends now.

Because of Olivia's presence, I had the strength to share my sentiments with someone I can trust, particularly when I found out that Mama had returned to my siblings' lives. I asked her why all women have to run away after their heartbreaks. Dad has been gone for a long time, and why did she still think of abandoning us with so many things to do and grieve for? "Because we are so temperamental and vulnerable, we, as ladies, have different reasons to make up for what we have lost. Just that little effort though, among many other things, we'll probably be crying for a while without you even realizing it. But from the way your mother responds, it's clear that she adores your dad and that she doesn't want to let go even though he is in the afterlife -And you can't take that away from her, especially considering that you shared some of the same journeys."

"You can't understand someone, as the saying goes unless you've been through what they have. Have you ever been or are you even in love?"

She just doesn't realize how many hearts have passed and broken my heart, so it's funny that she would ask. How many times have I been hurt by little bits and little pieces? Hence, I am yet to claim that any of the people I have hurt or who have wronged me can be referred to as my loved ones. I was too young at the time to say that she is the one and the only one.

"At one point, Mama didn't approve of my relationship with my girlfriend. There is no stigma associated with being like my mother, as none of her flaws are apparent, so you get my point. I was really in love with that girl." I consider Olivia to be a blessing in my life because she gave me the knowledge I needed to consider what to do next. Olivia and I are always cracked up at just about everything, and thinking that she's a highly busy person, but I still have intentions to date her just in case. Given the fact that we are about the same age, we do not have completely different lives because she is employed while I am still in school.

The day that everyone has been waiting for has arrived, and the doubt in my mind still lingers, "Will I still be that good after this? Or maybe the absolute triumph is fated for another hand?" But I won't be frightened if it's not me anymore, but how I wish because it's my very last time playing the game.

Every quarter has its timeline, and with each movement of time, percolating sweats, and the bouncing of the ball, the whole team can feel the difficulty and the imminent end of our time. It looks like I'm not the only one who has something in mind, like other players who have something in their body; my awareness is divided between the times when the team expects me and my siblings want me back in London.

A timeout called by one of our coaches came right up. And in front of the other players, my father, who serves as one of our coaches, reprimanded me personally. "Why are you stumbling around so much, Morgan? What's wrong? How many times have I told you to focus? Get your head in the game, our opponents are ahead of us!" Everyone dispersed upon agreeing and proceeded to their respective places. Meanwhile, I could see Papa's profound gaze at me from where I was, which was a look that went great next to disappointment.

Maybe because I was the team captain, and everyone was counting on me to still win the game on the final shot. And speaking of the finals, it was the last quarter of the game, and our team was down by two points, but I was held back by my thoughts, and I'm not certain if I can handle it. Every second counts and I think that's where mine ends. Instead of running for the last three-point shot, I gave up on the ball and passed it to someone I knew deserved to score this time, and that was Fred. And when I passed the ball to him, there was a flicker of tension on his face about what he should do, and I also saw it in Papa's eyes, afraid that we might lose it, but when Fred and I met each other's eyes, I nodded in agreement, letting him know how certain I am that he will score this one, and with that being said, he won our last game.

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