While we were having our dinner, I noticed Olivia's anxiousness, and if it had been caused by Nikko—and it still was all about Nikko—I wouldn't have been surprised. Even when she soon realizes the situation, she does not even care what I speak or even publicly shame Nikko's name, only now that I have just seen this with Olivia, I mean, it's the second time. "What do you think Nikko and I have, Mike? After all, isn't that what we all have, too? I'm your friend; you and Nikko are my friends, and you can't fall in love with me, just as your brother can't, but that's okay."
She didn't say anything at all; she just smiled and continued to eat. At that moment, I was hoping that if only she knew how much I was wanting to love her, I might have wished to hit Nikko's useless balls—one in life and in his body—and make him realize how stupid he was for mistreating the woman who loves him and whom I loved.
I found Papa in his office back at school, preoccupied with packing his stuff away. It was a terrible sight to see, and I was undoubtedly let down once more. "This is nothing, Mike. I'm just trying to put this one ahead early since semester break is almost here, well what are you doing here in my office, tell me?" I just shied away from prolonging our small talk because I felt there was something odd about his actions, and I chose to talk to Fred about what was going on instead. "The faculty is aware that you are a child by Papa—by another woman, and it has affected Papa's reputation in teaching, particularly the basketball team, and he's been threatened with resignation so that the subject will not diversify."
I went to meet our dean to explain the situation to them and to also beg for help in explaining it to the entire faculty. I considered creating a strategy or even making a decision since I didn't want to be the cause of my father sacrificing everything, which would be entirely relevant to me when Mama abandoned me and my siblings.
I confronted the faculty and laid out the truth; I made no effort to cover anything up or to refute it. I could only stand up for my father, who only once acted negligently and will never do so again. "I'm Michael Morgan, and I am an architecture student who will soon graduate the following year. I also confirm in front of you that I am Mr. Miguel Barcelon's alleged son —I never intended to be my mother's child with a married guy, yet here I am accepting him as a son who has lost a father twice during this lifetime. And I urge you not to consider me and my illegitimacy as justification for you to undertake the line of work that my biological father long practiced. But if it's necessary, I'd choose to leave the school and take steps to prevent seeing him again because I'm inclined to it; People don't always accept me when I'm trying to discover who I am, and that's okay."
I was taken aback because none of them addressed what I had just said—that I wanted to leave because of the embarrassment I had caused Papa and, in all honesty, I would face consequences if they wanted to, only to bring Papa to his career. However, when they met me the next day, they had a different perspective: "Mr. Morgan, there's no need for you to quit your education. You still need one more year to get your degree, and in addition, we have already begun taking action to stop the public disclosure of the sensitive data that has gotten for your father. Is your mother still here in the Philippines?"
The questions they asked made me blush, but I was even more flabbergasted when they brought to light that they had to conceal my identity from certain people. As they asked me where my parents were, I quickly informed them that Dad has passed away. Plus, I'm not sure if I can face Mama given how long it has been since she showed up to us.
This sin will destroy everything, but why is the truth about my identity being exposed only now, as I'm about to graduate? Who will unravel the mystery around this? However, given the circumstances that are currently plaguing me and my brother, I am certain that Nikko is the one who is responsible for all of this. He didn't even feel sorry for our father? He's trying to provoke me, and now he appears to be getting my attention, making me so much more indignant with him than ever before.
And I will not let him play tricks on me this time, because I know this game of his ain't going anywhere, and I will be the one to end his made-up game.
Even though the sky was still bright, I decided to close the shop so that my staff would have rest and sleep from the massive project that needed to be finished in the coming days. I just peacefully drove while listening to some of Olivia and I's favorite songs when we go out on the weekends. When I came home, I was unprepared to see Eli greeting me at our gate, and I knew that with her already here, undoubtedly Mama is waiting for me at the door, one that I don't know if it will appease my soul or not.
Can this day get any worse? I just told Eli that I was leaving for a while and that I didn't want to show up to our mother, so I thought I would just go to Olivia's house and voice my distress. She and her family entertained me after she received my text about my problem, and fortunately, they gave some great advice before I even dared to face my fear.
It was a breath of fresh air when Olivia's father gave me his sentiments on the matter because it had been a long time since I had given attention to a serious dialogue between two guys, or simply a son to a father, whom I had lost for a long time. And the thought there was one, I couldn't even have the opportunity to open up with him. "You know, Mike, that losing someone you deeply love is not easy. When it happens, all you feel is like you no longer want to live. Perhaps your mother is trying to hide the fact that she is still suffering from losing your Dad. That's how parents are, and they can endure anything, I promise you that, but not their family or other close relatives".
Tito told me that I need to understand Mama because, more than anything else, I know best why she is like that and why she still can't move on from Dad. "The fact that you are alone, though, seems to make your heart carry a much heavier load; It's almost as though you can't comprehend that the father you are forever thankful for has passed away, and you're looking to your biological father as a safety net, and because of that, you come here to look for him even though he probably didn't play an active role?"
He added, "Because you haven't let go, Mike, you can't criticize someone else for their mode of mourning".
YOU ARE READING
𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙉 𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙐𝙂𝙃
General Fiction𝘾𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚? When is someone good enough? Have you learned enough to embrace who you truly are, or will you change and resemble the person who taught you t...