Asylum (Steve Rogers AU) 18+

3

Dinah had tried to find Natasha in between meals taken in her room. She had no appointments or treatments scheduled for that day, as the nurses had told her she was to rest before they would start tomorrow.

It was the not knowing that was the worst part - would they send her to the red room straight away? Could she avoid it altogether? Dinah was still yet to discover what exactly went on in there, but judging by Natasha's reaction, it was probably traumatic. Perhaps enough to send her insane for real?

Was that why Nat was still here?

Dinah's curiosity was keeping her occupied to say the least, so much that she didn't hear Doctor Rogers knock on her bedroom door and ask whether he could come in.

The room itself was standard, consisting of a bed, chair and table as well as a dresser to put her clothes in. There was a fireplace and a chair set by it. Not as nicely furnished as her home had been, but the insane clearly did not care for fine decor.

Dinah now took the time to properly take in her physician this time, having spent most of their talk that morning staring from the window with brief glances. Her mind shrouded with upset and hurt.

He was tall, with blonde hair that was neatly styled and blue eyes. His beard neatly trimmed. She wondered whether he looked younger without it, but that didn't matter right now. His form was broad, perhaps toned under the crisp shirt and trousers he wore beneath the white doctors coat.

White.

She didn't know why she was pondering on this, but the colour white was bland, dull, much like this place and the lives of its patients.

It was as though it signified a deep nothingness. Once again much like the asylum and it's patients. Each and every one of them reduced to nothing. No sense of time, awareness or feeling.

Would she feel nothing?

More importantly did she even want to anymore?

"Doctor". She sat in the chair by the fireplace and watched him cross the room

Steve looked down at her with a kind smile. "Evening Dinah. Have you eaten today?"

"You'll forgive me for having very little appetite", she glanced to the plate on the table that she'd barely picked any food from. "Being thrown into an asylum doesn't exactly make someone feel very hungry after their ordeal". It was a meagre meal of stew and bread anyway. She wouldn't be surprised if medications had been slipped into it.

Steve crouched down in front of her. "You should keep your strength up. It won't do you any good refusing meals". His eyes looked up at her own.

Something about them...

It told Dinah that somehow he perhaps was an honest man, even if he had taken up residency in a place that could not be defined in such a light.

"I am not hungry, but the matron will tell you I ate dinner earlier". She insisted. Only a little but enough to make it look as though she'd had a lot.

He smiled once more. "Good", now getting up and taking the chair from the table, placing it beside hers and sitting down.  "I thought I'd bring you your medication instead of the matron tonight". He said, taking a bottle from his coat pocket and a spoon, pouring some onto it.

"What is it?" She asked cautiously

"Laudanum, it will help you to sleep". He said, seeing her apprehension. "It's ok, you can trust me".

The eyes...

Could she really?

After pondering, she inched forward on the chair and took the medicine in a gulp, making a face as she did. "That is the worst thing I have ever tasted!"

He smirked. "The nasty tasting stuff is the most effective. You'll probably start to feel it's affects in about..." he now studied his pocket watch, "a half hour? You should be asleep before lights out, but if I were you I'd ready yourself for bed now".

She nodded. "Will that be all?"

"Just need to check your pulse, then that'll be it for tonight. Superintendent Ross told me that he had talked you through the main things, but if you have any questions..." he explained, taking her wrist and timing her pulse with his watch.

"Am I allowed out tomorrow? Is anyone allowed to go out into the grounds?"

He nodded. "Once morning rounds and treatment is done? Perhaps you can take a walk outside for an hour. Sometimes fresh air is a good remedy". Now letting her wrist free and putting his watch back into his pocket. "Well then, that's all I'll be needing tonight - like I said, ready yourself for bed. You'll be feeling the medication kick in soon".

Dinah stopped him. "Are there any books to read? Sorry, I just wonder how I'm to spend my time occupying myself".

"We have a library, you can visit and take what books you'd like. One of the nurses will show you tomorrow, or if I'm free I'll take you there myself".

Getting up, he put the chair back under the table and made for the door. "Hopefully when you wake up tomorrow, you'll be feeling a little better about the situation". He told her.

"I very much doubt that Doctor, but I admire your optimism all the same". She stated, and then looked a little afraid. "They won't come in and cuff me to the bed will they?"

He shook his head. "Currently there's no need for that, but once I leave I will be locking the door. If you need anything there's a little hatch you slide to the right so you can see out and talk to the nurse who will be on watch tonight".

"Ok...thank you". She said a little pathetically.

"Sleep well Dinah, tomorrow's a new day, it's what I say to all my patients".

She nodded and watched him leave, the turn of the lock soon after telling her that she was locked in for the night.

Doing as the doctor asked, she changed into her night gown and sat by the fireplace a little more, the bars that ran across it as well as the windows suggesting that it was never lit and that there was no getting out.

Still, she could dream, and now as she felt the medication beginning to kick in, dreaming was all that she could do - settling into the cold and somewhat hard bed.

She was already asleep when the matron walked the hallways later in, telling everyone it was lights out