Asylum (Steve Rogers AU) 18+

15

The days passed, soon turning into weeks - and still the journal entries and encounters in Dinah's sessions with Doctor Rogers continued. They would exchange secret looks between one another whenever he would pass through the recreation room, or if they were to be outdoors for some air. Outdoor therapy was rare though, and some patients were trying to take advantage however they could. Some trying to escape, before being dragged to their rooms or even worse - the red room...

"There goes another to add to the list". Nat pulled her shawl around her a little more as she and Dinah walked outside, stopping and watching as another patient was dragged kicking and screaming after trying to break free. "We won't be seeing her again..."

They'd not had time to speak of the red room, not when eyes were constantly watching. It was as though they were keeping tabs on Natasha's every move. Who she socialised with, which was barely anyone aside from Dinah. Even then she was guarded. "Why do the doctors and nurses always seem to be watching you?" Dinah now questioned.

Nat stopped and looked around, then back at her friend. "Because they think I will slip up. Talk about what I've seen. This is dangerous for you too, to even be seen with me. Why do you think I don't speak to anyone, and sometimes keep my distance from you. I don't want you to be caught up too".

"That doesn't matter...Nat...what did they do?"

Before she could even pressed further, Nat walked on, pace quickening. "You can't know. You may be at risk to, and I don't wanna be the one who is the cause of it. I know I said that I'd tell you, but I can't - it could cost us both".

"Natasha..." Dinah called as her friend hurried away, and then sighed to herself. There was probably no way of ever gaining enough trust for her to confide. The fear was too great.

**

Back in her room, Dinah traced her fingers over the pages and pages of dried ink. Every correspondence between her and Steve memorised. He'd opened up to her more within the last few weeks, not just in body, but in mind too. His latest entry had filled her with anticipation as it usually did. She found herself living for them, just as much as she did their sessions.

Do I ever think of you?

Yes. With every waking breath. From the moment I wake to the moment I close my eyes. You are the focus of everything and above anything else.

She closed the journal after finishing the entry and sighed. If only it were that easy to just walk away from everyone here, and with him. Dinah would admit that she had thought of what could be - and had found herself daydreaming of it a lot more as of late. Then the realisation that it would probably couldn't happen would shatter the peace that she had found within those thoughts in her mind.

She could escape reality with him, if only for an hour when it came to their sessions. It would have to be enough.

Taking out her writing things, she penned her entry to him.

Dearest Steve

The longing of wanting to run is becoming far greater than I had expected. The nightmares still plague me, but if I were to sleep in your arms then I know that they would be vanquished at your touch. The way you make my body feel? It's almost like I am brand new. Every night you leave me I ache to have you inside of me again - and if I am honest? To have myself on my knees before you. There are so many desires you've sparked within me, some I did not even know existed.

Until I met you.

I find that my own touch is nothing compared to yours, no matter how much I try to imagine that it is you who brings me to a shaking mess. I almost feel guilty for doing such a thing, especially if I imagine you watching me during it.

Tell me what you want from me. What I can do to rectify any urge you may have, but have not yet explored.

All my love.

Dinah x

Shutting the book, she stood up and made her way to Steve's office. The door was open as she got there, but he wasn't in the room. She left the journal on his desk and turned, walking out before seeing him now come down the hallway. "I have just delivered something to you". She smiled knowingly as he now stopped. "You may want to read it before our session this evening".

"I look forward to it". He told her, looking to make sure that no one was coming, before kissing her gently. "I'll see you tonight".

On hearing another set of footsteps, he dropped his grasp that he'd had on her, then giving her a nod as a nurse walked past. "Mrs Walker".

"Doctor". She nodded curtly and continued on her way, a small smile keeping itself contained on her lips.

Steve watched her round the corner and then returned to his office, settling down and opening the journal at Dinah's latest entry. He read it, over and over - taking in every word. Things had become deeper, more explicit. Things that a lady of her class could never say other than in ink. Scandalous for sure, but he was all but willing to indulge her. She had her desires, and he had his. But for it to be something they could feel relaxed about, he knew he would need to pay her a visit after lights out. There was never really anyone patrolling, and the matron on the night shift was always in her office. He knew the schedule like clockwork, so it was the perfect opportunity to see her.

To make those desires happen for her.

Shoving the journal into his desk, he locked it and then walked out, down to Dinah's room where her door was open. She was inside, sitting reading - but was surprised to see him there.

"Steve?" She asked quietly, knowing anyone could hear them if they were to walk past.

He leant into her as she stood up. "I'll have your night time medication stopped, and I'll come to you after lights out tonight".

She knew immediately what he meant as he looked at her. "Won't other patients hear?". There was caution to her voice.

"You of all people know how fast the medication sends you to sleep, no one will hear - no one really checks other than matron and that's during early morning when dawn comes- I'll be long gone".  He assured her.

Dinah nodded. "Ok".

As he walked to the doorway, he stopped and lingered - looking back over his shoulder at her. "I can already imagine just how pretty you'll look on your knees for me".

"I certainly hope so, Doctor".