Asylum (Steve Rogers AU) 18+

5

The patients who were allowed their outside recreational time, only had the privilege for an hour a day. A nurse or doctor would determine whether they were in a fit mental state to venture outside, and then would accompany them. Many had attempted escape - and for it they were placed in isolation before being taken to the Red Room.

Today the dark clouds hung just as low in the air as the mists that always seemed to envelope the asylum. Anyone passing would say that the place had a darkness to it, lone and hidden behind wrought iron gates.

And it did - but not as much as anyone on the outside knew of.

Just as well not many people passed along the road. Just the carriages that would bring the patients in from time to time.

Dinah was stood by the window when Steve came into her room for morning rounds, having now seen Natasha. She glanced to him and then turned back in silence. "Is the weather always so dismal around here?" She asked, "I would love nothing more than to see some sunlight..."

Steve came and stood next to her, "given the location behind the mountains and hills? It's not exactly something you see too often".

"Am I allowed to go out like some of the others? Or are you scared that I'll try to escape?"

"Will you?"

She shook her head. "No doctor...because I am sane enough to know that they will simply bring me back and lock me in here - taking away any privilege I may have of breathing fresh air".
The air inside the asylum was stale to her. Much like some of its inhabitants - the rare ones that did not have their wits about them. Losing the chance of being able to have some sort of freedom in this prison would be a bad way to start the rest of her life here. And Dinah knew that it would be just that. She'd never once heard of anyone leaving a place like this unless they were in a casket. They simply were left to rot, just as she had been.

He smiled and nodded, knowing it was against the protocol to let a patient go for outdoor therapy on the first session. Assessments had to be made beforehand to determine the level of 'sanity' and whether they had earned it.

Just from speaking to her, he would give her a chance to prove herself. If outdoor therapy would be a preferred method, and one that could work to keep any hysteria episodes away? He'd certainly try it.

"We can have our session outside if it would help to keep you calm". He told her.

Her head whipped round to look at him. "I do not need to 'keep calm' doctor, I simply need to breathe..." then realising she'd sounded rather harsh in response to his kindness. "I'm sorry...being locked in this room, this place, it has only been a day and my frustration seems to be building".

"Come on, let's head outside and see whether you'll feel better".

"If the weather is anything to go by doctor, then it is an omen..." Now turning away from the window and accompanying him out of the room, hands delicately clasped in front of her.

A 'guard' of some sorts was by the door and looked quizzically at Steve and Dinah as they went to pass. "She needs outdoor therapy in order to stop a hyserical episode". Steve explained, "You wouldn't want to be helping me drag her to the isolation wing..."

The man simply nodded and allowed them outside, the door closing behind them.

Dinah looked back. "What's the isolation wing?"

"For patients with frequent outbursts. Some can become violent, they spend a day or so in the isolation wing until they have calmed, then they are seen back to their rooms". He told her. "It's really for the safety of themselves and everyone else here".

"I see". She nodded. "I hope not to go there".

"If you are as sane as you claim to be? Then you won't". Now walking alongside her, both of them at a leisurely pace around the garden. Some patients were sat playing chess, another in their own world picking the flowers whilst accompanied by nurses. "Now, let's get started with our session today". Steve suggested.

Dinah's gaze was everywhere except on him. "Before you ask, yes, I am fine today".

"It's just the general question I always ask my patients every day, because each one is different". He explained, writing down something on his clipboard. "I'm sorry about the weather though, can't do much about that".

"Is it always like this though?"

"'fraid so". He shrugged. "You get used to it".

She looked up at the grey clouds and foggy surroundings. "Did it take you long?"

"I never really noticed it unless I came outside, but even then it becomes a normal part of life".

"What is 'life' in a place such as this? Where we are all treated like ghosts, roaming and wondering what purpose we serve anymore".

Steve jotted it down, "A good question, but I can't answer it, coz even I don't know. All I know is that I'm here to help you".

Dinah nodded and walked along more, a few paces in front of him. "My husband doesn't like the sun - perhaps that is why he chose here..."

"What's he like?" Steve asked, wondering whether she would talk freely of him or not.

She was silent for a moment, before she spoke freely. "Dead to me...that is what he is like". Her answer honest and brutal. "Just as I am to him, I knew him better than he thought I did - and as a result? I have paid with my freedom, or in a physician's view? My sanity".

They said nothing as they walked a little more, Steve wanting to let Dinah's head clear somewhat. "How do you really feel? About this place?"

"A number of different emotions. But in truth I am scared doctor". She stopped walking suddenly and turned to him.

"It can be hard when you have only just arrived, you're trying to figure out why and..."

"It's not that" She interrupted. "It's more that fact that I am scared that this place may actually make me go insane". Then she sighed. "And now you will write how only an insane person would make that claim".

He pondered before making his decision. "I think we can keep that comment off the record". 

"I know this is a session to talk, but could we simply just walk? I feel I won't be able to provide you with any more answers to your questions". Dinah now asked, already feeling drained talking about John. 

"Whatever you're comfortable with". Steve told her, knowing that she would probably only talk for so long before closing off from him. "Even if we have sessions like these where we just walk in silence, you can talk to me as and when you want".

She shook her head. "It shall just be for today, but thank you for your consideration all the same".

They continued their walk, Dinah stopping every so often to reflect so it seemed, until finally time was up and the patients had to return inside. "Take your medication, ensure that you eat plenty to keep your strength up, perhaps resting through napping could help..."

"I'd much rather stay awake"

"Merely a suggestion, not an order - yet". He tucked his clipboard under his arm. "I'll see you for evening rounds".

"Doctor Rogers, would I be allowed outside tomorrow as well?" She stopped him as he went to leave her.

Turning back he looked at her seriously. "It'd depend on what mind state you're in, but if it's like today then I don't see why not - enjoy your afternoon Mrs Walker".