𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. ʀ. ʟᴜᴘɪɴ

twenty-eight

Evangeline's eyes fluttered open to a ceiling she hadn't seen in ages. 

She heard soft murmurs around her, voices she faintly recognized. 

"I don't know where he is! I've looked everywhere!"

She moved her gaze to where the voices were, her eyes narrowing in on Sirius and Dumbledore. 

Evangeline's hand trailed to her right hip, feeling bandages. She took a deep breaths, the memories hitting her like a freight train.

"Where's Remus?" she asked, breaking Sirius and Dumbledore out of there conversation. 

"Thank Merlin," Sirius said, rushing to her side, "how are you feeling?"

"Like I was just attacked by a lycanthrope."

She watched Dumbledore leave the room, most likely to get a nurse.

"You're at St. Mungo's."

"I gathered that, thank you."

He sat down in the chair next to her, "do you remember what happened?"

She nodded, wincing when a pain shot through her head. She sat up in the bed, "thank you, for saving my life."

"Should've been there sooner."

"It's not your fault. Nor is it Remus's... where is he?"

Sirius fell silent for a few passing moments, "I-I don't know. After the sun came up and he transformed back... he left after realizing what he did."

Evangeline let out a nervous sigh, "Merlin... Sirius, he- he didn't know what he was doing. I'm not angry at him."

"He won't see it that way, Evangeline, when he realized what he did... I've never seen him in such a state."

The door opened and a doctor walked in followed by Dumbledore, "you're awake, that's good. How are you feeling?" the doctor asked. 

"A little pain."

"A little?"

"A lot."

"You've been out for a day. You weren't bitten, so that's good. I've been informed that you've been attacked by a lycanthrope before. Lucky for you, your body will not have to undergo any more changes. You've lost a considerable amount of blood and we've had you hooked up to a blood bag, we're going to keep you here for a few days."

"Alright."

"I'll leave you alone to talk," the doctor said, walking out of the room. 

"Professor, I apologize for what's happened," Dumbledore sadly said. 

"Don't be. We need to find Remus, I have to speak to him."

"We've been looking for him," Dumbledore said.

"Please, don't let this end his career as a professor. He was sick and forgot to take his Wolfsbane... I should have made him take it when I took it to him."

Dumbledore raised his hands lightly, "his job at Hogwarts is safe, I understand the situation, miss Vandeleur. I'm just here to make sure you're alright and that you know what's going on."

Dumbledore stayed a little longer to speak to Evangeline before eventually bidding his goodbye. 

Evangeline ran a hand through her tangled hair, "are you okay?"

"I've fought him before off of Wolfsbane. Can't say I've exactly won those fights but... I'm alright."

"Merlin, this is... he's going to hate himself more than he already does."

Two days later, Remus finally showed up looking wrecked. 

He slowly walked into the room Evangeline was being kept in, frowning at her state. She was in bed reading, but his eyes fell to the large bandage over her hip. 

"Remus..." Evangeline whispered, staring at him in disbelief. 

He stayed put across the room for her, eyes red with tears already falling, "Evangeline, I'm so sorry. Thi- this is all my fault. I should have taken the potion when you brought to me–"

"Remus, it's not your fault. You were sick–"

"We can't do this."

Her mouth quickly closed, heart stilling. 

"What?"

He looked at her, heart full of guilt and hatred for himself, "I shouldn't have gotten so close to you in the first place. Shouldn't have put you in danger. We cannot be together."

"Remus, don't you fucking dare say that," she snapped out, "I'm not angry at you for this but you're making me pretty damn angry for trying to tear down everything we've built up."

"It's for the best."

Tears began to fall from her eyes, "for the best?! You leaving me is for the best?!"

"You can be with someone better, someone stronger and someone that cannot hurt you the way I have."

"You're hurting me a lot more for this than the attack, Remus. A lot more."

"I'm not doing this because I want to."

"Then don't!" she yelled, "I love you, Remus! I've told you thousands of times over that should an attack ever happen that I would never be angry at you for it. I fucking meant it!"

He shook his head, "we can't," he quietly said. 

Her bottom lip quivered, "so that's it? We're done because you're getting into your head and you won't let me help you?"

"There's no helping me. I deserve to be alone. I can't put anyone in danger that way."

"You don't deserve to be alone, Remus. You deserved to be loved and that's exactly what I do and all I want to do!"

"You deserved to be loved better."

"You're the only one who's loved me well. I–" her words cut off when sobs broke from her, "Remus, I can't find anyone better than you and I don't want to. Please, please don't do this."

"I'm sorry, darling. I really am. I love you, please don't take this because I don't."

She sniffled, "if you love me you wouldn't leave me like this."

"Loving someone sometimes means leaving them so they can find someone better."

She hugged her arms around her waist, looking at him through teary eyes, "please," she quietly pleaded.

He wiped his tears away, "I'm sorry. I love you, Evangeline."

With that, Remus left the room. 

Evangeline felt the pain in her chest to be much worse than the pain from her wound. She'd take a thousand attacks from a lycanthrope again and again before it could even compare to what she felt in her heart. 

She put her palm over her mouth, not caring that the entire hospital could hear her cries. 

She never expected love to hurt this badly.