I have gotten used to long travel times due to my line of work. Despite having extreme difficulty sleeping when in a moving vehicle, I usually am relaxed and calm. I needed to learn how to be comfortable as most of the time, I am travelling because of work.
This time though is very different. Four hours of travel outside the city felt like days. It was as if the road was neverending. My chest felt so heavy and painful. Even if Aaron kept squeezing my hand in an attempt to calm me down and reassure me, I couldn't seem to relax at all. Everyone kept looking at me as if I was going to faint at any moment. Even I think I might actually faint at the pace my heart rate was beating.
Gray and Sarah came to our home last night and had told us stuff we've been wanting to hear for the longest time. These includes: Gray not actually on Anthony's side, the two of them not really in a relationship and that they knew who SJA was. Now all 5 of us, me, Alec, Aaron, Gray and Sarah are on this long drive to meet this person who would hopefully answer all the questions that had haunted me for the longest time.
Aaron was very much confused all througout the night which was understandable. He didn't know anything. I had told him the general gist of the story and he was just dumbfounded. He didn't know it was that complicated. But instead of backing out, he actually wanted to involve himself more. And I felt his sincerity.
We entered what seemed like a subdivision. Gray merely rolled his window down and the security let us in immediately. It looked like a wealthy area where posh people live mainly because the houses were big. But then, as we drove in further, there were so many people outside of their houses. A lot of them were just talking to each other, some of the children were playing dirt in the playgrounds, there were also some of them who were cleaning their frontyards with rakes. Even if their homes were big, they all seemed to be living simple lives. This was not what usual rich, posh people do.
We went in further until Gray parked in front of what I believe was the smallest house I have seen since entering the community. It was a one story home with a nice little front porch and a landscaped garden with blooming flowers of all sorts. The house probably looked like it would house at most 4 people.
Gray and Sarah got out and we did the same. It was sunny out but I could feel the breeze brushing in my skin and the smell of sea hit me. It was so fresh and calming. Somehow my nerves relaxed a little bit. There were people who were passing by waving at Sarah and smiling at us. Everyone seemed to be really friendly.
Sarah opened the little gate and went in through the front porch to the door of the house. She just opened the door without even knocking and had gestured us to get inside.
Despite the small exterior of the house, the inside was actually quite roomy. Even if we had three boys who were all over 6 ft tall, it didn't feel cramped at all.
There were two huge couches in the middle of the house that faced the glass doors which overlooked the sea. There was a small kitchen that looked so clean like it has not been used at all. Beside it was a small wooden dining table that could sit 4 people. To the right was a small hallway where there were three doors that probably leads to the bedrooms.
Gray, Alec and Aaron all sat down on the couch. I walked towards the glass doors and opened it. The salty breeze pushed me back a little. I took a deep breathe in and indulged at the mesmerizing view. There was a beautiful little back porch. There was a little swing tied to a tree and just beside it there was a picnic table. There was a wooden stairs with only a few steps that leads down towards the beach. It was all clean white sand and crystal blue water.
I suddenly felt envy in my heart.
This was exactly how I used to envision my future to be. I just wanted to get through high school, maybe go to college while working on a part time job. I wanted to have a little family of my own, with 2 kids and we'd be living in a small house next to the sea. I could be a housewife and would cook meals for my family and clean the house and take care of the children. I wanted the simple life. But then, here I am, living the exact opposite of it.
