I hugged my coat tightly to keep myself warm. It was cold here in the hospital's garden but I felt more comfortable here than in my suffocating room. A few patients passing by gave me stares, probably wondering why someone was crazy enough to be out in such a freezing weather. They were probably right, I might actually already be going crazy at this point.
But it helped me clear my head somehow.
"Come on Gabby. Let's go back" I turned around to see Aaron walking towards me. He had left earlier to do something important he said. Everyone left earlier which was why the room felt a little gloomy. He threw another coat around me and held me by my shoulder. I stopped him.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked.
Ever since I've told everyone the truth, I haven't had a decent conversation with any one of them aside from my father and Red. Aaron had to leave to take care of his schedule awhile ago. Dad was sad but more mad at himself for the situation. He keeps saying that if he was with me it wouldn't have gotten this far. He was wrong. It was my choice to let it get this far. He stayed with me the whole time to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. It helped to have him around. But he too had to leave as he was summoned in the police station.
Red on the other hand just kept shouting all sorts of profanities and was just continuously questioning me why I've been keeping him out of the picture when he learned everything that has been happening recently. He was just completely mad which was quite understandable. Honestly, I actually appreciate him being vocal about it instead of people giving me the silent treatment.
"Getting mad at you won't change anything" Aaron answered. "I'm more upset that you have to do this to yourself."
I sighed. If I would have just committed myself to that yearly check up that Alec wanted me to do, maybe I'm enjoying my victory against Anthony more right now.
"I'm sorry." I grasped on his coat. "I was being too selfish. I keep saying that I was okay and that I was still strong. Now, I'm just scared. I don't know what's going to happen"
He gave out a loud sigh and pulled me in his arms. "Don't talk like that" he said. He held me so tightly it felt different. "Don't make me feel like I'm going to lose you" he whispered.
"I'll keep fighting Aaron" I said. I burried my head in his chest. "I've got so many things I want to do now, with all of you. I'm not giving up just yet"
He nodded as he held my hand. "I'll be with you, every step of the way"
Aaron and I went back to my room. The doctor came in a few minutes to explain to me about my biopsy. They said basing on my last MRI test, the tumor was quite big that we'd only need to do it through a CT scan. They said they had to drill a small hole into my skull to gain access to my tissues. That was how they will see if the tumor is benign or malignant. That was the only part I understood from his explanation. All the words that came out of the doctor's mouth sounded confusing and scary at the same time. It feels as though I'm about to go into a science experiment.
But now is not the time to chicken out. If I wanted to live, this is the first step to it. And I want to, more than anything else right now, I want to live.
I signed the consent form for my biopsy which will be done later in the evening. Alec had apparently been calling for the best neurosurgeons around the country according to his secretary when I was trying to call him.
The doctor left. I sighed. "Well, you might see me in my ugliest state right here. Don't you want to leave for now?" I joked trying to lighten the mood. I was just standing in the middle of the huge room on my white gown trying to make it less empty.
