To Be Continued...

THIRTY FOUR

HARINI'S POV

It's February 14, supposedly valentine which I should have been celebrating with my so called boyfriend or ex-fiance for the first time in my 19 years of life, but we broke up already. He ended the engagement two days after constantly wanting one.

I have begged him to stay but according to him I was stubborn bitch with attitude and arrogance. I have lost all my self respect and went down in front of my own eyes that I don't even have the energy to look into my own eyes. It's been more than a week that I haven't looked at myself. I was too ashamed of myself for begging a boy to stay with me, I was so practical all my life.

But the day I decided to beg him, I fell off my eyes and I know I'll never rise like before.

Sometimes our heart gets us to doing things we never imagined and our brains would never approve of but our hearts get hypnotised by the feelings that have overpowered our capacity to think.

Aah, this is not what I thought I would be in the future.

"Happy Valentine's Harini." Guess who texted? Santino!

"Well, I am not your girlfriend anymore." I replied in just one click.

"You were, and that doesn't change that I still love you."

I wanted to slap him for this, because the times I tell him to move part me he walks in again.
What then? Another argument and I could not bear it anymore so I kept my phone aside and after five minutes without replying he called me infinite number of times, as I did not have the energy to reply to him or prove myself right I decided not to talk instead.

I put my phone on silent and started studying ignoring all the overflow of emotions in my head, and that's when my mother makes an unexpected entry.

"Hey Darling, sorry to disturb you, but you were not taking my calls." I checked my phone and she had called me three times.

"Sorry amma, I was studying." She smiles at me and sits besides me.

"So we are going outside tonight, join us."

"I'd be third wheeling mum." I protested because I was not feeling well due to all the emotions I have been hiding, I didn't even want to talk to any of my friends and ask for any suggestion or help in this matter anymore because they already told me to block this Santino Shit out of my life a month back but I was being the one who caught the guilt and decided to be friends with a man who kept telling me how egoistic I was. I do, yes I do pity myself.

"Oh come on darling, it will be fun. Like see first we will go do some shopping,  if you want to buy something you may and then we will stroll down the streets and then food of course." I smiled a bit but none of these things excited me, all I was thinking was why was I so unlovable? Was I too ugly or too stupid to hold onto love?

My mom got my dress out and I decided to fit myself in, it was a off white cami top, denim jeans and a pullover black sweater.
I combed my hairs and left them open, applied gloss and then last, put on my spects.

Is it because of those spects people don't find me attractive? Or it's because of those black neck patches I carry with myself? Why can't people love you with all your imperfections and still say that you're beautiful?

I didn't' take a lot of time to get dressed and then walked out of my room after keeping all my books at it's place.

My mom smiled at me and she looked stunning as always, sometimes I did feel little insecure walking around her because she was unexplainably gorgeous, hell gorgeous.
She was just perfect for what a women should be, except for one thing she has done she is beautiful.

"So ready sweetie?" She asked and I nodded at her as I slipped my legs into my boots.

I put my phone on airplane mode because I did not want him to connect to me at whatever costs, I asked my mom for the hotspot instead so that I could at least send snaps.
After all, streaks matter haha.

We went down the lane markets, did some chore shopping I did not buy anything because I was too exhausted from everything that I didn't feel like looking at other. After everything mom wanted to do, we went for the last part and it was already 10pm, Dinner.

I ate chicken burger and they ate whatever they liked and then we headed back.
My mom must have enjoyed this Valentine's but I want to know why does a day like that even exist?

The moment I checked my Snapchat I had these hundred notifications from Nicolas, the guy I have just started to talk. I opened his messages that said.

"Oh god you're having a nice valentine's but at least look at my texts for once." That was the most recent text and I wanted to laugh because it was more of my mother's Valentine's but then I scrolled up to see previous chats and those said that he broke his phone and he needed help.

Face palm.

But then I recollected the times we were talking, he said that he made a lot of friends in this online classroom then why me? I shook my head from overthinking and sent three laughter emojis and later said ok.

I came back home, turned off my phone from flight mode and had almost a hundred missed calls from Santino.

I called him back because what if it was an emergency.

"Are you for the real Harini? Who do you think you are? Throw tantrums every time you feel like, block me whenever you want to and then expect me to love you. Who the hell do you think you are controlling? Do you even know who my dad is." The moment he answered my calls he started yelling at me and I had absolutely nothing to say so I stayed moaned, which is not me but I do not have the energy to fight anymore.

"Aah okay sorry baby. I was just worried that you turned off your phone. Happy Valentine's.
Did you go somewhere?"

How could he be like that? Yelling at one moment and then loving the other. Men I tell you.

"Yep. I went out with my mom."

"And Dad?" He asked and then continued.

"What did you wear?"

"Clothes." I tried being funny but he doesn't like humor so i then added.

"A strap top with a sweater."

"And I think that sounds hot.
Can I see you?" I was tired of saying no to him because he would always insist on things and want me to do it the way he wants. Within seconds he put me on a video call and looked at me, I gave him a hard smile and he gave a thirsty one.
I was covering my deep neckline with the sweater and he looked straight down there.

" Could you remove that?" He asked, the more I wanted to say 'NO.' the more thirsty he looked into my eyes and I did as he asked. I untied the rope that was holding my sweater at its place and let it show my skin.
I tried hiding it but he wanted to see more of my cleavage.

"Stop it Santino, why do you keep looking there."

"Oh that's a hot spot. Can I kiss there?"

"If you have forgotten, I am no more your girlfriend so back off."

"Well, but you still feel for me that's why you're still here."

"No! You asked for being friends that's why I am here."

"You would not like me looking at your cleavage but you are comfortable at some random  group of guys staring right there at the spot when you roam outside?"

"Shut it man! I covered it with my sweater."

"Who knows you never wore it! Maybe you're trying to act innocent right in front of me." I shut my eyes and then shut the phone the moment he says this, remove every piece of clothe on my body and lay down on my bed.

A month passed of Santino torturing me and me attendingy regular classes with tears in my eyes yet taking all the notes so that I could send them to Nicolas.

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