To Be Continued...

EIGHTY THREE

I sat at the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the wall, the weight of my heartbreak suffocating me. Each breath felt heavy, each moment unbearable, as if the world was closing in around me. Veronica sat beside me, her face filled with concern. I could feel her eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Harini," she said softly, her voice thick with worry. "It's not worth it."

I shook my head, barely managing a whisper. "I just don’t understand." My throat tightened, my heart aching with every word. "How could he just disappear like that? One moment, he was everything… and the next, I’m nothing."

Veronica sighed, her expression softening. "You have to let go of him," she said gently, as if it was so simple. "It’s hard, but you deserve someone who values you, someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved. Nicolas isn’t that person."

"Easy for you to say!" I snapped, bitterness rising like bile in my throat. My eyes burned as tears threatened to fall. "You don’t know what it’s like… to lose someone you thought you couldn’t live without."

"I’m trying to help," she whispered, reaching out to squeeze my hand, her touch warm but unable to pierce the cold void inside me. "But you need to help yourself too."

"Help myself?" I let out a hollow, broken laugh. "I’m drowning, Veronica. Every time I think I’m moving on, something pulls me back. I feel like I’m sinking, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t breathe. I can’t escape him."

My eyes flickered to my phone, that familiar, agonizing hope sparking inside me, only to be smothered by the reality that there was no message from him. Nothing.

The days blurred into weeks, and the pain grew heavier, suffocating every last bit of me. Then February came. The month of love, of promises… of cruel reminders of everything I had lost. One night, I was scrolling through my phone aimlessly when I saw it—a picture of Nicolas, laughing with friends, as if I had never existed. As if I was nothing more than a distant memory. My stomach twisted violently, and I couldn’t stop myself.

I texted him, my fingers trembling, my heart screaming, *Where are you?*

He replied quickly, the words hitting me like a punch to the chest. *I’m back in Leeds.*

I stared at the screen, my heart racing, hope igniting in the hollow pit of my chest. Without thinking, without reason, I made the decision to go. To find him, to see him, to hear his voice, to hold onto the last fragment of us. Maybe, just maybe, I could find closure. Or maybe… I could find him again.

But Leeds was cold, empty. The streets felt hollow, foreign. I wandered for hours, searching, hoping… but there was nothing. No trace of him, no sign of the love that once filled my heart. By the time I returned home, despair had settled in, wrapping around me like a vice.

And then my phone rang.

"Hey, Nicolas!" I answered quickly, my voice shaky but trying to sound light, desperate for something, anything.

"Shut it, Harini." His voice was cold, harsher than I’d ever heard. My heart sank, panic rising.

"What? I didn’t find you but—"

"Oh, shut the fuck up," he snapped, venom in every word. "I told you not to come. I’m with my family, but no, you don’t listen."

"But… you said they knew about me," I whispered, my voice breaking.

"Harini, shut up. Don’t call me again. And don’t you dare come back into my life."

I couldn’t breathe. "Please, Nicolas…"

But he was already gone. The line went dead, leaving me with the sound of my own shattered heart.

Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as I locked myself in my room. My parents knocked, but I ignored them. I texted Veronica, desperate for comfort, but nothing she said could ease the pain. Against my better judgment, I texted Nicolas again.

*I’m sorry.*

His reply came almost immediately: *Fuck off.*

I stared at the words, my chest heaving with sobs, before sending the screenshot to Veromica.

*You’re letting a man speak to you like that?* she replied. *That’s not the Harini I know. Where’s the girl who’s strong, who’d slap someone for this?*

*I’m not that girl anymore, Veronica. He’s…* My hands shook as I typed. *He’s the man of my dreams. He accepted me, flaws and all.*

*What flaws?* Veronica shot back. *You don’t have flaws. You’ve just let his become yours.*

I wanted to believe her, but I couldn’t stop the tears, couldn’t stop the hollow ache in my chest. My parents knocked again, my mother’s voice soft, but I couldn’t face them. Not like this.

Amma finally came in, taking me into her arms. "What happened now?" she asked gently, but I stayed silent, unable to speak.

She sighed. "I can’t handle this alone, Harini. Your father needs to know." I begged her not to, but she didn’t listen. She told him, and I heard their conversation through the door, heard the disappointment in his voice. I had failed them both, and all I could think about was Nicolas.

My father called me into the room. His voice was calm but firm. "Harini, whatever mistakes you’ve made… bury them. Cut all ties with him."

I nodded, unable to speak, but as soon as he left, I broke down in my mother’s arms.

"Amma… please, slap me. I’m not in my senses. I’ve loved him more than anything."

She held me tighter, stroking my hair. "Don’t think about him. Think about your future, your dreams."

"I don’t have dreams anymore, Amma. I only want him. Please, let me talk to him. Just once."

She looked at me, her eyes filled with pain, and nodded. "Give me his number. I’ll call him from mine."

I handed it to her, desperate for one last chance. She dialed.

He didn’t answer.