To Be Continued...

SIXTY

As his voice echoed in my ears, I felt a pull—an overwhelming urge to bridge the space between us. But it was impossible. Words and screens were the only things tethering us together. Yet, in those moments of passion, of longing, everything else dissolved. The frustration, the doubts—they faded into the background. All that mattered was him, and I wanted him more than anything. I needed to feel his touch, to convince myself that this wasn’t just another fleeting illusion.

But after every heated exchange, reality crashed in like a cold wave. The word *soon* that he often promised seemed to stretch infinitely, like the growing distance between us. Still, I clung to it, telling myself that love—our love—would be enough to carry us through the void.

Nicolas had a way of making me believe in a future where everything was perfect, where all the waiting and broken promises would eventually be worth it. But sometimes, late at night when I was alone, I couldn’t help but wonder—was I holding on to a dream? Or was he stringing me along, offering soft words and empty promises that would vanish as quickly as they were spoken?

The second time I couldn’t reach him was worse. I sat by my phone, staring at the screen, willing it to light up with his name. Hours passed. I fought back tears, repeating the same excuses in my mind—maybe he forgot, maybe something urgent came up. But this time, the familiar shadow of doubt crept in and refused to leave. When he finally called, his excuse was another careless mishap. The lights went out, or he misplaced his charger. Another story, another apology.

I didn’t argue. Not aloud. But inside, I screamed. How long would I keep forgiving him? How many times would I let him slip through my fingers, excusing his absence because I was too scared to face the truth?

And yet, when I heard his voice, my heart softened. Every wall I had carefully built crumbled under the weight of his affection, his warmth seeping into my soul. When he talked about our future—about marriage—it was like he wrapped me in a blanket of security, making me believe in something that maybe wasn’t even real.

I wanted to trust him, to believe that he meant every word. But part of me couldn’t help but question—was it all just talk? Was I letting myself fall deeper into a love that would never come to fruition?

“Harini,” his voice broke through my thoughts again. “I can’t wait for the day we don’t have to say goodnight over a screen. I promise it won’t be much longer.”

I smiled weakly at the camera, nodding. “I can’t wait either, Nicolas. But... when will that be?”

He paused, his eyes softening as he searched for an answer. “Soon. I swear.”

That word again—*soon*. How many times had I heard it? And how many more times would I wait for it to come true?

For now, in the warmth of his gaze and the tenderness of his voice, I chose to believe him. Even though doubts clouded my mind, my heart still belonged to him. Despite everything, I couldn’t let go.

It was late—too late—when I noticed his eyes growing heavy. The rhythmic sound of his breathing told me he had fallen asleep. I watched him on the screen, mesmerized by the rise and fall of his chest. There was something peaceful about it, something that made my heart ache with longing. I didn’t end the call, nor did I wake him up. I just lay there, staring at him, wishing for things I couldn’t have.

It was almost 1 AM when Amma came into the room. Startled, I quickly shoved my phone under the mattress and turned to face her. She smiled and kissed my forehead, her warmth radiating like it always did. She was always too kind, and I was too stubborn to love her back the way she deserved.

“Are you hiding something?” she asked softly.

I lied, shaking my head. She didn’t push, just left the room quietly, leaving me with the weight of my secrets.

The next day, I teased Nicolas, telling him that my father had caught me on video call with him. His face went pale, his voice full of panic as he begged me to explain. I let him stew in his fear for a few moments before breaking into laughter, confessing that I was only kidding. He almost passed out, but I enjoyed seeing him flustered. His panic was endearing in a way, a reminder that he cared.

But things weren’t always so lighthearted. While Nicolas busied himself with work, I threw myself into my music compositions. It was my way of coping, of passing the time while I waited for his attention. But one day, I overheard my parents discussing my marriage.

I was stunned. Marriage? At this age? It didn’t seem real.

I ran upstairs to call Nicolas, needing him more than ever, but he wasn’t there. I sent him a text, spilling my worries. Four hours later, he finally replied.

When I told him everything, my frustration boiled over.

“Nicolas, whenever I need you, why aren’t you there?”

There was a pause before he responded, his tone calm but firm. “Harini, I’ve given you my 1000% when I had the time. Right now, I don’t. Trust me, I don’t.”

His words hit me in two different ways—right, because he had given me that time in the past; wrong, because now it felt like he was throwing it in my face.

“I won’t be there either then,” I snapped, hurt and angry. “I think you’ve gotten too used to my presence, too used to me always being here when you need me. But when I need you? You’re nowhere to be found.”

His voice remained steady, but I could hear the frustration creeping in. “It’s not a competition, Harini. It’s not about keeping score, about only being there for each other when it’s convenient. Relationships don’t work like that.”

His words made me pause, guilt gnawing at the edges of my anger. He was right, and I knew it. But it didn’t make the hurt any less real. It didn’t stop the growing ache inside me that wondered how much longer I could keep waiting, keep forgiving, keep holding on.

I wanted to believe in us. But for the first time, I wasn’t sure if believing was enough.

Authors note

This is the start of the last phase by now, the book however has just a few more chapters to go. I know this is a big book, it has had so many things. But I've put it into shorter chapters with 800-1K words instead of having 2-3k words in a single chapter. Of course a few of them are long but I hope you've reached here.