𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑭𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑬𝑺⌇ᴀ ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴀʟ

✰⌇ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ 50: ᴊᴀɴᴜᴀʀʏ 5ᴛʜ, 2023

UPDATE 50! WOW!!!

aka, the fucking random ass all over the place update because i've been hit with the biggest wave of motivation and excitement... ever?????

first off, i've been seeing angel numbers like CRAZY, especially 111/1111s, which is very important for me because as you all know i sign these off (usually) with 1s!! so obviously the universe is telling me something i stg

BUT ALSO a couple days ago, i did some tarot stuff and asked the question 'is there anyone in my TNG DR that has a message for me?' and i got. answers. i GOT REPLIES..

i literally barely remember what they said to me or what the cards were, but i know for sure worf and picard replied, worf was like. don't be so stupid, get to some good ground before jumping into shit and i was like Wow. thank you worf. (I WAS LIKE SO SHOCKED BECAUSE IT WAS SOOO WORF-Y?? i wasn't expecting such a CLEAR message. and it was so funny because the first card i got like, flew out of my hands and on the ground, it was so aggressive he REALLY wanted to talk to me)
and picard said some wise shit i can't remember (sorry jean-luc)

and then i explicitly asked for a message from data, and i.. fucking got one, for real. like.
i think the cards were the fool (this one might have been reversed, i can't remember), the devil (reversed) and the world so he was like
first off rein it in a little bit. but also like, don't doubt yourself. fucking like.... trust your inhibitions but don't be such a little jerk (but said in data-speak)

actually, y'know what i'm gonna do this again rn fuck it

ok so we've got the fool (reversed) (AGAIN??), the lovers (RAHHHH), and eight of wands.

who could this be idfk!! let's see, this person wants me to come back to my natural state of being rather than shaming myself into hiding my real personality. they're aware that i am uncomfortable (considering i've only been on the enterprise for a week) but they want me to know that there's no need for that.
the lovers has to be. something i mean. like. damn. they want me to know that i am loved and appreciated (because they know i am an insecure bitch sometimes for reals) and if there's a romantic choice to be made (wink wink), i should go with my heart.

ok this is sounding like riker ngl

shiiitt dude, so... they're aware i basically gave up everything in my life to be on the enterprise. and they commend me for that immensely. they think i'm incredibly confident and strong for doing so, and they think i should keep that energy on board, rather than being... well, sad and nervous and isolating.

YEAH THIS IS DEFINITELY MY BOY RIKER I HEART YOU WILL <3 okay i know this entry has been terribly chaotic i'm so sorry I'M JUST SO EXCITED!!! let me know if you guys want to see more tarot stuff, i could give you readings as well!!!

thank you for stickin around. i think i'll do more updates like this tbh this was fun

see you soon 111