Three Little Words: A HeeJake Story

Go Big or Go Home

"Are you okay?" Sunoo ran over to ask me as soon as the rest of the members got off stage.

I looked up at him from where I sat against the wall offstage, giving him a nod and a smile.

"Yeah, I'm good!" I smiled, "Better than good, actually. Did you see that?? He came to save the day!"

Sunoo giggled, "I DID see!  What happened when you got off stage? What did he say?"

"Nothing, really," I shrugged, "He just told me to sit and went and got something to eat and drink. I haven't seen him since then."

Jungwon walked up, scanning the room.

"Where's Heeseung?" he asked.

Sunoo and I both shrugged and Jungwon made a face. 

Jungwon watched as Sunghoon walked out the emergency exit doors that led to the back alley.

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"Where are you going, Hee?" Sunghoon asked. I knew he would find me.

I stopped, turning around to face my best friend.

"I'll be back. There's something I have to do,"

"Well, then I'll come with you," Sunghoon told me as he jogged to catch up with me.

"No, you won't," I stopped to point back at the stage exit door. "I have something I need to do. I'll be back as fast as I can."

"Heeseung," Sunghoon sighed, "You showed some real vulnerability in there. I'm proud of you. Please don't run away."

If he only knew, I thought to myself.  Instead, I gave him a genuine smile. I'm grateful for Sunghoon. He's been right all along but he let me work things out in my own way. I WAS pushing Jake away. I WAS afraid that our relationships would cheapen or - worse - fail.  I DID need to go through some things and work it out on my own. 

I don't know what's going to happen from here, but I know what I have to do next. I just can't be here at the moment.

Instead of explaining all of this to Sunghoon, I put a hand on each of his shoulders and looked him in the eye as I said again, "Sunghoon. I promise.  I'm not running away.  I'll be back."

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"He'll be right back," Sunghoon told Jungwon.

"Wait - where did he go?!"  Jungwon was furious. 

Sunghoon shrugged.

"Sunghoon, I swear, if you know where he is..."

"I don't," Sunghoon looked down, shaking his head sadly, "I don't know where he went. I know he said he'd be back. I told him not to run away again and he said that he wasn't running away and he'd be back.  That's all I got."