You Should Stay Right Now.

What is wrong with me?

I'm running down the street in my pajamas praying to god this isn't happening. "HELP! HELP SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE" I scream. "GOD HELP ME PLEASE, DO NOT LET ME SUFFER."

I wake up crying and screaming. I slip on my flats and run to my mama's room. I glance at the clock and its three-forty two in the morning. "Onika, did you have the dream again?" Mama asked as she turned on the lamp. "Mama I'm so sorry I woke you up again, it's getting worse I have to go back to Dr.Lombardio." "Onika, I love you and I'm so sorry you had to see that shit as a child, my dear. " Mama's face looked somber, I felt so bad she didn't want me to have to suffer. "I just cannot believe he would try to burn down the house, what if you didn't get out?" I cried. "But I did baby, Onika come sleep with me tonight. Just for tonight, Dr.Lombardio said for you to start working on this problem on your own since your nineteen but I can't bear to see you like this baby." I listened to her, she was right, I need to deal with this. I will not let this ruin my life. I laid down my head next to Mama's pillow and slowly fell asleep.

          I woke up tired as fuck, I had to get ready for my brunch shift at Red Lobster, and today was a Sunday so I knew it was going to be busy. I slicked my hair back into a ponytail and threw on my all black uniform. I walked to the bus stop and waiting with my card in my hand. I was eying this really cute guy across the street, he looked like he had money and he was a darkskin. Nicki, what the fuck are you doing. You're with Safaree for fucks sake. Ugh my conscious was right, but he has been treating me like shit for the past three months so I can't help it. The bus finally came and I swiped my card through the scanner, I sat in the way back. After fifteen minutes of sitting on this old bus, I arrived in front of the restaurant with twenty more minutes to spare. I walked over to the mall that was across the street. I walked into Sephora and started to look at the Dior perfumes. While I was walking over to the lipsticks I saw the same guy I was eyeing at the bus stop. He

Makes me melt. I want him so badly and I can tell he's going to be good with anything. I need to stop, all these temptations for a guy I don't even know, that's fucking pathetic. I'm looking around at the makeup while him and his boys are looking around at perfume. Shit why would he be looking at women perfumes, unless he had a girl. Depression filled in through me like a faucet, why am I so effected by him?

I look at the time and its ten fifty-three, I should head back to work. I start to head for the door but then I feel someone touch my arm. "Aye Ma, you dropped this."