The Path of a Jedi: Book 3 (Star Wars Rebels x Reader)

Chapter 17

It was a long trip, even traveling at lightspeed. It was nearly impossible not to let your mind race as you tried to relax, you had no idea who you were going to see at this base, but you had the terrible thought that your small escape with the Ghost crew was coming to an end.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Hera said, coming to sit next to you in the turret that had become your hideout.

You shook your head, "my thoughts seem to be cheaper than that."

Hera looked at you, her smile fading, "I know you didn't want to come on this mission, I just don't understand why."

You continued to look out the window, the endless blue occupying your eyes, "because I don;t want to join their war, and I know you do."

Hera sighed, "I just want to get them the supplies they need."

You finally looked at her, "no Hera, you want to join the war, to fight something real and and to be a part of something bigger," you said, your voice raising on it's own, "you want to put your skills to use and you have wanted to since you were a child, I saw it in your eyes."

"I don't-"

You cut her off, "and you would be so good at it!" you shouted now, not controlling your emotions, "god, you would be the greatest leader that the rebellion has ever seen!"

Hera said nothing, she only looked at you like you could see right through her walls. "But I'm not that leader anymore, Hera," your voice was softer now, "I can't be who they want me to be. I thought I could escape their expectations by joining you in the outer rim, but once again I am back in the middle of everything, back where I don't want to be."

Hera sighed, "we aren't going to stay."

"But you want to," you replied.

She nodded, "in some ways yes, but you are a part of this crew, this family, and if you aren't ready for this, then we go back home, we turn away. We are still doing good in the systems where the Rebellion doesn't reach."

"But you were meant for so much more," you say, turning back to look out the window.

Hera placed a hand on your shoulder, "I'll get there at some point, but I like my place now too."

You nodded, not looking at her again. She sighed and stood up, walking out of the turret, she turned back for a moment, "you were meant for more too, I hope you remember that someday," she whispered. You didn't hear her, you just kept staring out the window at the endless blue.

Hera's POV

Hera sighed as she walked through the Ghost, pressing the button outside her room and practically falling into her bed with a thump.

She stared at the ceiling, lost in thought, when someone cleared their throat. She sat up fast, only to come face to face with Kanan, who was sitting in the chair by her desk space.

"What are you doing in here?" Hera asked, leaning back on the bed.

Kanan held up the holopad in his hand, "you stole my holopad."

Hera rolled her eyes, "no you left that in here last night."

Kanan chuckled, "what's going on?"

Hera sighed and sat up, looking at Kanan across the room, "it's (Y/N)."

Kanan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "what about her?"

"She's supposed to be the wise one, the one who knows everything, she's had a lot more experience than the rest of us, but then why does it feel like I'm the mother?" Hera asked.

"You think (Y/N) is your surrogate mother?" Kanan asked, a hint of teasing in his eyes.

Hera throws a pillow at him, "in a way, yes. She saved me, cared about me, was always encouraging, even when I was doing something reckless," Hera explained, "I just feel like the roles are reversed now."

Kanan nodded, "what happened on Polis Massa changed her," he began, "as Jedi, we feel things a lot deeper and a lot more intensely than others do. The pain of losing her friends, her family, the man she loved, she felt all of that weight and it had to be devastating and crushing."

"Aren't jedi trained to deal with that sort of thing?" Hera asked. When she saw the look on Kanan's face, she instantly regretted her words, "I am not trying to be insensitive!"

"Right now she is suffocating, she tries her best to put on a brave face and ignore it, but she will probably never come to terms with her loss," Kanan explained, "I felt the same way when the jedi fell, sometimes I still feel it. What happened will always be our crutch, it will always be the one thing that we can never fully understand and process."

Hera nodded, feeling guilty that she had thought that you should get over your problems so quickly. "Maybe she could use a friend that understands," Hera said, gesturing for Kanan to go talk to you.

Kanan shook his head, "she could," he repeats, leaning back.

Hera's eyes opened in shock, "you mean me?"

Kanan chuckled, "yes, Hera she needs you, and you need her."

Hera nodded, Kanan was right, (Y/N) had done so much for her and now she had an opportunity to show you how she was there for you. Hera quickly walked out of her room and made her way down to the turret where you were still staring out the window trying to escape your thoughts.

Hera didn't even announce herself before she began talking, "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you. I'm sorry that I expected you to get through this on your own. I'm sorry I am dragging you into another battle. But I promise that whatever you need me to be, I will be. If I need to be the person that drags you out of bed every morning, I will. If you need me to be the person that distracts you, all day, so that you don't have to be trapped in your own head, I will. If I need to be the person who cries with you, laughs with you, screams with you, I will."

Hera stepped in front of you, blocking your view of the window, "because you were there for me (Y/N). When I needed you, you were there. I can't begin to fathom the pain of your loss, but I can promise to try."

Tears welled in your eyes as Hera wrapped you in a hug, "you have never been alone," she whispered, "and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like you were."

You rested your hand on the back of Hera's head, for a moment she was that small child on Ryloth again. You said nothing, you only held onto each other as you cried, letting the tears fall. Kanan was right, your past was something you will never truly be able to process, but you had a family here, and they would make sure that you are never alone.