Weightless (H.S. BWWM)

Break Free

For the past few days I wasn't able to move without my mom being up my aṣs. She wanted to hang out all of the time and sleep in my room under the guise of having 'slumber parties'. When I received the news that I got the job at Reynolds Inc. she took off work to spend the day with me and hasn't left my side since. I think me getting the job solidified to her that I'm serious about making a life for myself in LA. Up until then she thought this was just a phase, me getting the job made it real.

Venom on the other hand was beyond distant. She wouldn't come to me when I called her and she avoided sitting on my lap like the plague. Normally she's a fiend when it comes to two things blankets and food and neither of them enticed her enough to get her to spend time with me. I guess she knew I was leaving. She spared me one lick and a quick nuzzle this morning before taking off to her cage, I guess to mope in peace.

My dad's been about the same, he's always wanted me to get out and experience more life. To him, my staying at home while I went to school was holding me back. The only saddness I saw from him during this entire process happened today.

I don't think any of us realized how much we're going to miss each other until this morning. Both my parents and I were fine until they called for my plane to board, that's when the waterworks started. I had been toughening myself up all week for this, watching sad movies and forcing myself not to blubber like I normally would. All of that training went to shịt the second I saw a tear slide down my dad's cheek. My mom, I expected to cry, she always does, but my dad never cries. I can only remember one time in life that he did and that was when he got the call that his brother passed away.

Standing in the middle of the airport we hold each other in a group hug, saying 'I love you' and 'be safe'. It broke my heart to walk away from them but I couldn't miss my flight. The nagging suspicion that if I didn't get on the plane I'd regret it for the rest of my life rang out like a beacon in my head with every step towards my gate. I let the motivating mantra carry my feet until I was safely in my seat.

~*~

As soon as I'm outside of LAX I text my parents, if I call we'll never get off of the phone. The sun beats down on my fingers as I press send making me happy I changed clothes in the bathroom. The sweatpants and hoodie I flew here in would've melted me. The change into a loose pair of ripped boyfriend jean capris, silver gladiator sandals, a white shell top and a pair of aviator sunglasses was quick and simple. I got a few odd looks from people who saw me go into the bathroom in different clothes but I couldn't care less.

Cars whiz by blowing my hair around as if it's a windy day. The wheels of my luggage rattle loudly against the tan sidewalk as I walk towards my rental car, some type of Toyota with a convertible top. The clean cherry red paint job reflects the sun so well I'm glad I have shades on. Throwing my things in the backseat I get in and set up the Bluetooth so I can play my music.

Break Free blasts through the speakers as the tires hit the road. I can't help myself from dancing along with the beat and feeling Ariana's lyrics. I'm finally here, living the dream I've had for months now and it feels good. I'm actually happy, an emotion I haven't had around very often. I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in the dramatic comedy that is my life's book.

Major change is always first on my list of things I hate so I'm definitely nervous to be in a new place alone. Normally I have my parents or a sibling or my cousin with me when I try new things. They're my security blankets when I'm anxious. When I'm with one of them I feel comfortable, invincible, like there's nothing in the world that can put fear into my heart. Knowing they have my back and would support me no matter what makes all of the difference. My nerves get put in this far away box that I couldn't reach if I tried.