I've Loved You Ever Since

Part 10

"...and then-" Lindsey paused, interrupted by a hiccup. "After this great evening together-" He frowned after another hiccup. "Goddammit!" He reached for his drink and knocked it back. "She was about to kiss me and- and I freaked out, man." Lindsey lifted his arms up and placed his elbows on the bar top, his head now in his hands. "That's like... I've wanted that so- so much and for so long, and I..." He sighed heavily, turning to face his friend. "She's spending the n-night with her ex, what do I do, Mick?"

Mick looked at a wasted Lindsey sympathetically. "Well, all I know is that you've been in love with Stevie for as long as I've known you and it's been years. Her ex shouldn't be stopping you from being honest with her. If you don't do anything, he's not gonna be her ex for much longer."

Lindsey groaned, nodding a thank you to the bartender for the refill. "It was supposed to be me." He said, punching himself in the chest. "I had tonight all planned out and she was supposed to spend it with me."

"What's your grand idea then, Lindsey?" Mick sighed. He cared for Lindsey, truly, but he couldn't count how many conversations they'd had about Lindsey's secret love. "You're getting shit-faced for the second time this week because of this woman. Are you planning on keeping this to yourself for the rest of your life? You're just going to pretend that all you want from her is her friendship?" 

"What are my other options in this situation?" Lindsey shrugged, leaning his head on his fist. 

"Talk to her for God's sake!" Mick exclaimed, getting seriously tired of this subject. "You're a grown ass man, you're 37-years-old, but you're acting like a teenager, crying over his first crush."

"Let's say I do tell her how I feel. What if I scare her away, huh?" Lindsey narrowed his eyes at Mick as if Lindsey being in love with Stevie was his fault somehow. "I get my heart broken and I lose her as a friend? No." Lindsey shook his head. "That's not happening. I'd rather-"

"What, you'd rather be miserable until the day you die?" Mick scoffed. "You're only making things worse, making a bigger mess. Eventually, this is gonna come out. Wouldn't you rather do it on your own terms? Whatever happens, happens. If she doesn't feel anything for you, at least you'll know, but what if she's feeling the same? What if she's scared about opening up to you? The longer you sit on your ass, drowning your sorrows, the more time you're giving her to reunite with her ex."

Lindsey kept his mouth shut for a moment. His eyebrows creased, he seemed to be deep in thought. He then took a couple of deep breaths and attempted to get up on his feet. Luckily, Mick was right there to catch him before he fell down on the ground and embarrassed himself. 

"I'm going to see her." Lindsey announced.

"What? Now?" Mick asked, but Lindsey wasn't listening as he took big strides to go outside. "Christ..." Mick sighed, took out his wallet to pay and ran after Lindsey. He found him on the pavement, trying to request a car ride. "Are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe you should go home instead, see Stevie when you're sober."

"Nope." Lindsey said, swaying on his feet. "I won't be able to do it if I'm sober."

Meanwhile, at Stevie's place, things were heating up. The movie she and Tom were going to watch was long forgotten, making out on the couch seemed much more appealing. Some layers of clothes had already been discarded and they were doing a great job of getting rid of the rest. 

"Wait." Stevie broke them apart to say. "I don't want to do this on the couch. There's a lot more space in the bedroom."

Tom grinned, quickly getting off of her and on his feet. He held out his hand for her and they practically sprinted to the bedroom. He was back on top of her in no time and she sighed, closing her eyes, as his lips began kissing down her neck.

"Wait." Stevie said again.

"What's wrong?" Tom asked, but continued with whatever he was doing anyway.

"I think, someone knocked on the door." She frowned, placing her hands on his shoulder to make him stop. 

"Who cares?" Tom lowered himself down, but Stevie pushed him off, causing him to roll onto his back as he exhaled heavily, annoyed. "Maybe they got the wrong apartment."

"Or maybe it's important? Who on earth would be knocking on my door at this hour for nothing?" Stevie swung her legs over the edge of the bed and went to the bathroom for her robe before going to open the door. 

Stevie looked through the peephole first and was instantly alarmed. What was Lindsey doing outside her door at this time of night? Another knock, louder this time, made her jump a little and finally unlock and pull the door open. 

"Lindsey? What's-"

"Hi." He grinned stupidly. "Gosh, you're so pretty."

"Huh, what?" Stevie frowned, holding her robe closed with one hand. "You're drunk."

"Mhm, yeah." Lindsey nodded, leaning against the wall. "I, uh... I had to come see you."

"Right now? Linds, do you know what time it is?" Stevie asked, but that didn't seem important to him.

"I've got to tell you something." He stood up straight and she tilted her chin up slightly to look at him. 

"This is not a good time, Lindsey, I'm sorry." Stevie said, but he shook his head, opening his mouth to speak. She was quicker. "Why don't you sleep it off and come back then, okay?"

"Nuh-uh, I have to-"

"Lindsey, come on, you-"

"I'm in love with you!" Lindsey yelled out, completely stunning Stevie with his admission. "I've loved you ever since you said, hello, to me the first time! Do you have any idea how long it's been?" He didn't let her answer. "D'you know why I didn't let you kiss me? That's why! I was afraid that if it happened, you'd forget it in the morning or worse - regret it." If she hadn't seen the state of him five minutes earlier, she wouldn't have a clue that he'd been drinking the whole night. "And my heart would have been shattered. I mean, it is. I love you and you don't know, well, you know now..." He paused to breathe for a second. "I love you and you're with someone else, it's tearing me apart."

Stevie was speechless. That was the last thing she expected to happen tonight. She felt terrible that she couldn't come up with a single word to respond while Lindsey stared at her, barely even blinking. 

"You should go." Stevie spoke up at last. "You don't know what you're saying." She shook her head slightly. "Please, Lindsey, I promise you." She put her hands together. "I promise, I'll call you tomorrow, but right now, I- I can't. I can't- I don't know what to say."

She saw his face fall, making her feel even worse. Breathing in deeply, he then exhaled slowly, nodding his head. "Okay. Okay, I'll go." He agreed. "But I won't feel any different tomorrow." He added and walked away with that.

Stevie leaned against the door after she'd closed it. What the hell was that? Before she could even begin processing it, Tom appeared in front of her, looking a little concerned. 

"Is everything alright? I heard some shouting." He said, approaching her. 

"Yeah. Just some drunk neighbor, trying to enter the wrong apartment, like you said." She lied. "Uh... would it be okay if we called it a night? Suddenly, I'm not in the mood."

"Are you sure everything's okay?" Tom frowned, following her back into the bedroom. 

"I said so, didn't I?" Stevie replied, taking off her robe. "You can stay if you like, but, I don't..." She trailed off, leaving her thought unfinished.

Tom was clearly disappointed and he didn't even try hiding it. However, it was late. "Do you want me to sleep on the couch?"

"Doesn't matter." Stevie said, already in bed, reaching to turn the bedside lamp off. 

Tom stood at the foot of the bed as he looked at her. He knew, she lied. He heard Lindsey's voice, but he didn't hear him clearly enough. What was said? Why did she lie? Tom felt weird about staying, but he wasn't sure if leaving her alone with her thoughts was a better option. 

He chose to sleep in her bed after all, pretending that whatever it was that had just happened wasn't that important.