Shape of the Sun

She will be loved

Rajkumar made to leave after barely dropping Choti off at the table where his mother and her friends were sitting, despite calls from Nirali to stay with them. The slideshow and most important part of the event would be starting in a few minutes, so where was he going?

That was the thing. Someone very vital was missing, he had scanned the hall when making his way over, and he had to find her just in time for the slideshow. Rajkumar promised a lot of fun and fireworks when it came, something he and Papaji had been cooking for a while now. He refused Nirali's offer to sit with the assurance that he'd be back soon. He just needed to get Manmeet in here. Rajkumar chuckled at their ambiguous expressions, amused to no end by how these women acted out of character whenever he mentioned the other woman's name. One even winked at him, and so, he winked back at her, rushing out behind calls that he was a shameless flirt, and that Manmeet would hear of his actions.

He couldn't help wondering what her reaction would be to that, even as he made his way to the hall's exterior and into the parking lot. Would she laugh? Would her reaction be meh? Something about facing a stoic expression at the end caused an influx of familiar grief to fill his chest. That's right. Ever since that scare that morning, Rajkumar had never felt that life was so slow-motion, that emotion was so pronounced, as he had in the following days. Manmeet now spent all her time, her days and nights at her old apartment with her parents, leaving him alone in his. Even though he knew it was just temporary, as they would be heading back to Shimla in a few more days, the rationale wasn't helping. Sometimes, he felt angry, and other times, he felt aggrieved, he felt that Manmeet was punishing him with her absence in ways that frightened him. It scared him how much his mind was on whatever this was, this push-and-pull between them. It terrified him how much he cared that she was successfully drawing the line, he could see it from where he stood, and the farther she got, the more it tipped him off balance.

Rajkumar would stay up all night and spend his free hours at work, in a daze, wondering how he hadn't seen this coming, this attachment to her that was bothering him so much. And most of the time, he blamed himself. If he hadn't reacted negatively that morning, all this would never have happened, and then maybe, just maybe, he would never have had to dig deep into his soul and explore his feelings, that kind of thing.

Because if he was being honest with himself, Rajkumar felt just like another Anisha, abandoned by her lover. The first time he had this thought was when brushing in front of a mirror, and he had laughed so hard that some of the toothpaste in his mouth sprayed onto the clear surface, staining it. It was cathartic in a way, how at this point he should have felt some guilt towards her, but all he felt was a sort of 'she deserved it'. 

Was it unfair? Probably yes. 

Was he sorry? Maybe at one point. But now, no. 

Rajkumar hated that woman so much with every fiber of his being now, so much that he ignored all calls from her and that doctor. He still wanted to maintain civility with another white coat. As for Anisha, he was afraid he would just traumatize her from the moment he opened his mouth, regardless of her condition. He was also traumatized, so no one should act pitifully in front of him.

At this turn in thought, Rajkumar had finally reached the car he had been looking for. It was a white Lexus, it was empty, and it was Manmeet's. Of course, she refused to take his calls even when he went through Vaishali, so he wasn't able to pick her up. Rajkumar wasn't totally sure that she would still come after all the events surrounding the project but a text from Gunjan on his way here assured him otherwise. He thought it was better to wait for her here so that the plan could be executed perfectly.

But what if she decided to run away when she saw him? He wouldn't put it past her to push him down and attempt running him over. Rajkumar mused if she would actually do it. He had seen the movies, so there was a wild guess at what would happen next. He'd hit his head and enter into a coma, only to wake up ten years later and find out that there was another man beside Manmeet, and his child called him father. Of course, he'd manage to seduce them both for a while, but in the end, they would both go back to that man who'd have stood by them in his absence. Not to mention, Manmeet didn't even have any good memories of him.