Shape of the Sun

Over a stained boubou

Present-day. Mumbai medical college hall.

"...By using our knowledge and resources to combat abuse, protect the vulnerable, and create a safer, healthier environment for all,  we can make a significant impact. Thank you."

Choti clapped, joining in the frenzy that drowned out her brother's closing remarks. It was hard not to, the atmosphere infectious, the audience appreciative of the fierceness her brother was.

No one was denying this. Rajkumar was that good, and it brought such a smile to her face. She hoped that her eager clapping matched that smile. She hoped it shadowed the complexity buried deep in her heart.

It was like each second apart, he only got better by miles. It used to be jealousy, now it was just weariness, how being surpassed so much was now commonplace. Choti couldn't deny the unbalanced emotions that she felt at times though, just like the one she felt now. Once again, the weight of Rajkumar's goodness rested heavily on her, threatening to crush her bones to bits like it never had, and she wondered for a moment why they were twins but so different, her hailing the banner of failure international while he did the exact opposite.

But it was only for a moment.

"Thank you, thank you. I will be taking questions now."

His voice came out tired, but with a trace of power even he addressed the crowd. There was a practiced ease and comfort with which he navigated the frenzy, likely familiar. Their eyes met and he calmly nodded before looking in another direction where many appeared to have questions, their hands raised. 

"It seems pretty hot tonight. I hope I am still safe." His comment elicited laughter, including Choti's, followed by a resounding yes. He laughed too, pleased at the response.

"Well, that's good to hear. Since we have this many, we'd better start now. You, what's your question? You look like you'd let me down easy." He pointed at a young man closest to the front row, his accompanying remark rendering the crowd amused.

Choti, along with others, listened to the man speak nervously into the microphone and watched how Rajkumar prodded him on with encouraging gestures, nodding as he spoke. There was a thrill of admiration and she knew she was not alone. What she was seeing was enough to elicit a chuckle from past her lips and a gentle shake of her head in a bid to clear out those useless thoughts.

Her failures had nothing to do with him, just like his successes had nothing to do with her. She was here to support him. She hoped he felt supported.

"...take your question, the one sitting behind the pretty lady in a blue shirt."

His peculiar detail and tone, accompanied by the sudden pressure she felt on her person, caused Choti to look up, catching Rajkumar's eye. He shot her a teasing look, causing her to flush with embarrassment and quickly turn around to face the person behind her.

He was almost twenty-nine and still acting like Paw Patrol. Steady giving off baby boy vibes. 

The new object of her - and the others' - scrutiny was passed the microphone. The woman's voice was trembling as she mumbled incoherent sounds, It was irritating even if no one said. Rajkumar, from where he stood at the podium, noticed the mood settled over the audience and stepped into the situation.

"Hello." his voice was gentle, "Why don't you try looking over here? You can focus on me while asking your question. It might help, don't you think?"

All the while, Choti's gaze had never strayed from the woman, she being among the few closest in the hall. The first thing she noticed was the stench she gave off, like that of rotting fruits and vegetables. She wasn't alone, the shared wrinkling of noses all around was a testament to their ordeal. Choti reached into her shirt pocket for her perfumed handkerchief and pressed it to her nose while her eyes still did their work. The second thing she noticed was her boubou. It was in terrible condition, stained and stitched beyond repair, and Choti wondered why anyone would leave home in such a condition. She recognized that the fabric itself didn't look cheap but the intricacies of the matter weren't hers to care for.

"Or would you rather write your question, madam?"

To her brother's question, there were only two answers -  yes or no. But this woman made the impossible possible, the first time of more to come.

"Don't leave me!" Her words were inappropriate, their position heightened by the shrill desperation in her voice. 

"Excuse you?" Choti heard the sound of her own voice, laden with displeasure. What kind of a thing was this? She expected her brother to voice something similar, but she only heard someone else in the crowd, a middle-aged man sitting two rows away, yell his name.

"Dr. Reddy!"

Choti whipped around to see her brother falling with a thud on the podium. She sprung to her feet like the many others and rushed forward, pushing people apart as she went out front.

"I'm his sister! Let me pass!" Her urgent voice and its content made her ordeal easier. Some had even begun to recognize her outright. However, she wasn't the only one benefitting from the easier access to the podium. That woman was right behind her and she didn't know.

When Choti got there, she was greeted with the sight of Rajkumar writhing in pain, his hand clutching his chest, beads of perspiration on his forehead and tears on his face, agony central. The sight made her heart throb and she rushed to his side in a panicky bid to reassure him. However, it seemed to have the opposite effect as he began spasming, his entire body shaking. Rajkumar's eyes widened, larger than Choti had ever seen them go in her entire laugh, and his mouth hung open, drool falling down the side.

It terrified everyone, especially knowing how quick this change was. It terrified Choti most seeing him like this and even worse that his eyes were so fearful and filled with a message he couldn't convey. She began crying as she held him, at a loss of what to do, the rest of the activity in the hall turning into a white audio backdrop for her helplessness and what she believed was manifest of just how worthless she was.

"It's the woman! Get her, hurry!"

It was the woman kneeling next to her that brought her out, her hand firmly grabbing hers, voice loud in her ears. She was wearing a white coat, possibly Rajkumar's colleague, and looked somewhat familiar.

"I have called the ambulance! Don't let that woman leave!"

"Y-yes, yes!"

Choti turned and noticed the woman making a getaway attempt, relatively ignored by the crowd. Hell no. She screamed higher than she ever had.

"Don't let her escape! Grab her and someone call the police!

"Get her!"

"Someone block the door!"

"I have called the police!" Everyone began swinging into action, infected by her urgent call and Rajkumar's evident deteriorating state. The bustling scene made Choti feel a glimmer of pride. She quickly returned her attention to her brother whose sorry figure successfully wiped out any budding positive emotions. She could feel his weak grip on her hand, his eyes shouting only to release tears in a fit of desperation. They were blinding him, blurring his vision she could see.

She could tell that he didn't want her to leave. Choti didn't want to leave either. Where would she be but here?

"I'm here, okay? I won't leave you. I'm not going anywhere."

As she spoke, the tears she had kept at bay kept gushing, unwilling to stop. Rajkumar's grip became a little stronger. She nodded, whispering in that quivering tone as her other hand patted the back of his.

"You'll be okay." she pressed a kiss to his hand, "We'll both be okay. Oh, I'm sorry, Raj. I'm so sorry."

This version of the apology was eighteen long years overdue.