Shape of the Sun

St. Paula Medical Hospital

St. Paula Medical Hospital London.

"That...is that my liver?"

She couldn't believe it. It didn't matter.

The doctor's voice was loud and clear in the room with white walls and that smelt like an unsettling mix of disinfectant and spit.

"Yes it is, Mrs. Gopal-Reddy."

He pointed at the image on the screen.

"You have cancer cells in your liver. I apologize for saying this but your toxicology and past medical records depict self-neglect and that's just being mild. The MDMA, heroin, and alcohol in your blood increased the risk and your Lyme reduced your immunity." He added upon seeing her face pale, "Don't worry. I won't involve the police but we need your cooperation to help you, madam."

Whatever he was saying though was less important to Anisha. 

She had just been told that she had cancer. There was nothing on earth that could salvage her marriage. Rajkumar must hate her - running away, ignoring his calls, and now this. She'd hate herself. She hated herself.

Her liver looked horrendous on the MRI imaging. It was an egregious mass, small modules and larger tumors jutting out of it that appeared brighter on the screen, a glowing lemon-green hue.

The doctor's voice was louder, a finger tapping the unevenly colored screen.

"These bright ones are the cancerous cells. This green color is because of the contrasting agent we injected you with before the scan." He moved to what looked like tubes crisscrossing her liver's breadth. "These are your veins. See the tumors here? The spread? The cancer is spreading not just there but to your intestines and pancreas. That's why you felt the abdominal pain, appetite loss, and fatigue that you were wheeled in for."

Anisha numbly looked down at her hands at a loss for words. They were shaking. There were beads of sweat on her forehead.

The doctor handed her a paper towel from the box on the bedstand.

"Please know that I am not trying to unnecessarily scare you madam, but it will be too dangerous if you run away again. And just to be sure, to make you stay, I had blood tests done," he tapped the sheets in his left hand, "and they confirm the diagnosis. We can do a biopsy too if you want that."

"No, there is no need for that." Anisha found her voice panicked. "What do I do, doctor? How do I remove this cancer?"

"First, please calm down. You cannot be stressed."

"I know, doctor. But I would be more stressed if I don't know how to take this out of me. I will do anything, doctor." Rajkumar could not find out and leave her. He had to stay in India some more.

The doctor took one look at her before turning off the screen and then back to her.

"I will put you on the liver transplant national waitlist today so that we can get a donor as soon as possible. While doing that, I and the rest of the team will start your chemotherapy and immunotherapy which will make up for your lost immunity. It will hurt, madam."

"I am ready for everything. I don't mind."

"That's good to hear. Please cooperate with us and also contact your family as you will need them now. The hospital can also assist with that process if you want that."

He hesitated, then patted her shoulder before withdrawing his hand.

"You are still only in the first stage of this so don't lose hope. There is still a lot of time on our side. I will come back in two hours with your nutritionist. Until then, the nurses will regularly check on you. Please take care."