Shape of the Sun

A terrible blindside

London, UK

It was a cold Monday morning. But that had nothing on work. Work was 24 hours, 5 days a week for shit pay.

And Anisha hated it most. But she didn't dare to quit, because she had no money. She wasn't actually meant to be in such a situation, as Rajkumar had wired her enough money she could spend in a month comfortably, before he got on the plane back to India. But of course, she had spent it all in a matter of a few days - on drugs. Even though she had promised Rajkumar not to use anymore after they had gotten married, the stark reality of their married life drove her back to the invisible arms of addiction that she called home.

Anisha wasn't that stupid; her brain worked quite well for most of the time. Rajkumar was not really satisfied with their marriage, that was certain. But she wrongly attributed it to her shortcomings. Afterall, it wasn't weird that her actions were pushing him away. Little did she know that he couldn't care shit about her. It wasn't like there were those deep emotions that frustrated him. He was trying to stay away for as much as he could; not help her out of anything, lovestruck. The pity period that he did try that path was over, and there was no going back.

Even though her body felt cold despite the full coverings on her body, Anisha didn't stop spray-painting the woodwork before her as they passed, one after the other, on the assembly line. She was working in a toy factory to pay off her debts and purchase more drugs, of course, without Rajkumar's knowledge. Anisha had held off calling him to inform him about her new job because she could imagine how upset he would be. Factory work, at least what she did here, was a minimum wage job, something that a person like Rajkumar couldn't stand anyone related to him having. Her case was even more delicate because she was his legal wife, even though their union wasn't public.

Anisha could have decided to give up and ask him for money. Even though he'd be upset at how she spent the last one, he would still have sent some more to her. The thing was that she was too afraid to do so. Even though she'd used the word 'upset' to define his reaction, it was a gross understatement. Anisha preempted that from the start to the end of the call, Rajkumar would scold her so severely that she would be in tears. As tender and sweet as he could be in moments of passion, he was also fierce and didn't hold back when he was angry. And every word he would say would hurt. It would hurt more because it would all be true. And it would hurt most because it would all come from him, the man that she loved.

So even if her body was hurting and the soreness in her throat, that she woke up to, only got worse, she didn't stop working - until she couldn't. Because soon after, Anisha found herself on the ground, people huddling and shouting for calls to 999 all around her. She singled out her supervisor's distinct voice, and then, she fainted.

"Someone call an ambulance! Hurry up!"

When Anisha woke up, exactly three hours had passed, and she was not in her room, as expected, but in a hospital bed. She panicked and tried to get up the bed and out of here. How could she spend all her time lying in the hospital? At this rate, she would miss her hours and won't be able to earn the money that she needed. In addition, her insurance was expired, and Rajkumar forgot to put her on his before he traveled. There was no way she could pay the bill that was racking up on her own, so she would have to call him, and he would somehow find out about everything she was up to, including her factory job. Anisha didn't want any of that and just wanted to leave immediately.

However, her plans were thwarted by a male nurse who had come in for a routine check, the doctor in tow. They had met her trying to take off the catheter from her hand and hurried to stop her. The nurse tried to reason with her upon seeing her fiercely struggle.

"Madam, please you can't leave. You are not fully recovered."

She was having none of it.

"I am leaving and there is nothing you can do about it. There is no need for me to be here, okay? I need to get back to work."

At her words, the doctor waved the file in her hand, a serious expression on her face.

"Madam, I am afraid that you can't get to work anytime soon. We ran tests on you and your results are out."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Isn't that like illegal?"

"No, madam. We are allowed to do those things if we need to stabilize the patient, which we had to do for you. And now, your results are out. We need to talk, madam."

Her serious tone cooled Anisha's temper. She was even a little scared because her expression was grave to boot. Was there anything wrong with her? She recalled that she hadn't been feeling well lately.

"I-Is anything the matter with my results, doctor?" She hoped not. God, she hoped not.

The doctor told the nurse to leave first before handing out one of the pages in the file to Anisha. She was trying to approach the topic in the calmest manner possible.

Anisha, for her part, could see all the dense text on the page but couldn't make heads or tails of it. Her head hurt more than the usual just by looking. The ominous premonition in her heart became even stronger as she heard the doctor begin.

"Madam, I am really sorry to tell you this, but you are...well, HIV-positive. We might need to contact your next of - Madam! Madam!"

She rushed to Anisha who had just fainted all over again from the shock, the page slipping from her hand to the floor. It was all over. Everything was over now. The doctor's voice, sounds of rushing footsteps, and that of beeping machines floated across the erstwhile quiet hospital ward.

"Nurse, get the defibrillator! She is developing a cardiac arrest, hurry!"