Shape of the Sun

Disillusionment

"He was lying."

"...Who?"

"Raju. Raju was lying."

Rajkumar's body, halfway in and out, refused to go any further, his feet rooted to the floor. His brain wasn't quite working either, sluggish, and a part of him wondered if it was because he was ten.

A tiny part, but still.

There were words that made sense apart and less when placed next to each other.

Raju was lying. Raju wasn't lying. Raju...was lying?

Rajkumar was grappling with what he thought he heard his father say, a lump forming in his throat. It burned. His eyes did too.

Why would Papaji say such a thing?

Fortunately - or not - he didn't have to wonder for too long. And neither did his mother, her husband quickly responding to her similar query.

"What do you mean, Bhairav? Why would Rajkumar lie about such a thing?" Her voice was uneasy, as was her husband's, not mirroring the confidence Rajkumar knew him for. He hesitated a bit.

Then he spoke.

"...The manager...she said it was a coverup for the cats." He said this, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

"Cats? What cats?" 

Rajkumar had the same questions.  What cats?

"Look Nirali...they found dead cats in his washroom. Cut up and stinking for days."

"Oh my goodness!"

"Keep your voice down."

They were too engrossed to notice their son - and center of discussion - shaking at their door, like a leaf blown in the wind.

Rajkumar felt the cold over his heart filter out, encroach all over his body without resistance, a repeat of that day, dead but alive. His small hands were pressed against his lips in a bid to prevent sound but not the tears that streamed down his face, staining his hands and soaking onto the cotton fabric of his nightshirt sleeve. The pillow lay forgotten on the floor.

It wasn't him. He was innocent. He was innocent.

Eloise had done this. She was the one who had lied about the herbs, had set out to destroy him, and had succeeded. She had invaded him without closure.

Rajkumar let out a whimper, an erroneous escape from the turmoil hidden behind his lips. His chest felt tight, at risk of bursting, and his body had to make a choice between feeling that pain and losing consciousness.

Today, Rajkumar chose to stay and be present even if it hurt.

He wanted to hear more. He wished he hadn't. He'd always wish he wasn't present to see his beloved parents show him the facade behind the smiles, push him further into the abyss he thought they'd rescue him from.

His mother was the first to push, her voice tinged with sheer disbelief, high-pitched in a way that pierced his heart. Rajkumar felt speared through.

"What?! Can you imagine the things this child is doing? Lying and now...such a terrible thing!"

"Calm down, Nirali..."

"I won't calm down, Bhairav." there was a rustling of sheets as she turned, "Our son is getting spoiled and you say I should calm down. What is there to be calm about? I am so sure it is all those movies he watches, messing with his head. They warned me against allowing him to watch them."

"Nirali..."

"Bhairav, please. Just be thankful we realized in time, before things got messy. This was a wake-up call for us."