[English] Feel Me - Zarry Stylik

Chapter Eighteen

HARRY STYLES

My fingers were pressed tightly to my temple as my green eyes stared at the painting on my dad's desk. His screams were giving me a headache, so I tried unsuccessfully to press my temple in an attempt to ease the pain. But it was insanely useless...

"How dare you disrespect your girlfriend like that? You are going to marry her. We have an arrangement with her family, Harry Edward Styles. Don't you dare dishonor!" — he came back in front of me and hit the wooden table, causing a sudden scare from me.

'I'm not going to marry her. I won't even go near her. I refuse. I will not dishonor when I have been dishonored long before. She was having sex with Louis Tomlinson and who else knows." I was very sincere with him in every word and determined. "I'm not dating her anymore, dad." I cannot live with such humiliation. I sighed tiredly, but very determined in each syllable.

" Hell!" he snapped. "She cheated on you because you must be a terrible boyfriend. A bad lover. You only brought me heartbreak on this trip. I hope you can redeem yourself, Harry. Know that I'm watching you and that human error you have as a roommate." He pointed his finger right in my face.

"You put Malik as my roommate. It wasn't my choice." I muttered, averting my eyes to the table again. "It was your fault... entirely yours!"

I whispered.

I was a little out of breath.

It was all his fault that I found myself without ground, without direction and without air for Zayn Malik.

Yes I was. I had admitted it to myself at that camp in the mountains. It scared me in a way that felt like there was a monster under my bed. I was terrified of liking him that way.

"Malik just wants to fuck you and use it to get you kicked out of school, you asshole." - Louis's voice came to mind.

"Liar. Zayn is my friend." — was what I snapped at him.

"Don't say we didn't warn you, Styles." - Louis countered and Liam laughed.

"Your feelings for him are just blinding you." - Payne said, leaving the bathroom with the hoax.

***

After school I had to help Niall with some work and I was thinking that I had barely seen Zayn since we got back. He was avoiding me. Didn't look at me. He didn't sleep in the room, and he knew Payne had his hand in that by paying the person who searched the rooms. It was my fault too, I should have talked to him, but I was scared and I'm still scared. What if the hoax with that nasty Payne is right?

" My father is still not better." Niall snorted. I turned my face towards his at the same instant.

"What?" I frowned, I hadn't quite heard what he was saying.

"You're a terrible friend at times, you know that? You came back from camp and you didn't ask about my dad once." I widened my eyes at his tone of voice. "Everything we do seems to revolve around your perfect life. You don't care about me and I knew I shouldn't care about you back either. But I really care... And you only think about yourself!" — then he got up abruptly.

"Niall! Wait, wait, forgive me. My head was over the moon..." I tried to go after him, but he pushed me away from him.

"I can't take any more stuffing your balls." His voice was bitter, his blue eyes were glittering. "Just leave me alone. Everyone at school is already calling you a robot with no feelings anyway, Styles." — I even took a step back hearing that, feeling my heart break in a way that took my breath away.

I wasn't a robot without feelings. I was just a person afraid of feeling what I shouldn't.

Did being afraid make me so repulsive?