Dear Professor

Sweet, sweet little nothings

—-This chapter took longer to write than I thought, but it's finally done and I hope you'll like it !! have a good read ! —-

On my way to the room I decided to make a quick stop in the bathroom to check my face. One person saw me cry already and that was well enough for the day. Fortunately, I was used to hiding my crying so my face almost didn't hold any sign of it, only mere puffy eyes but that was all. As to my make up, I've never been more grateful for actually almost not wearing any and for only wearing waterproof mascara. Thanks to all of that, I just had to put some cold water under my eyes and on the inside of my wrist to help me regain my composure fully before finally heading to the room.

As I got in, everybody was already settled down and heads turned to me which made me uncomfortable, but not as much as when I got stopped by the teacher in charge of the surveillance during the test: Mr Ward. One of the worst teachers here (after Downey. Or old Downey perhaps ?), I've only had him as a teacher for one year but it still was a bitter memory.

He was completely useless, and was also harsh on students for no reasons at all, so seeing him there was definitely not what I needed at that moment. Apparently, he hadn't changed one bit because he lost no time to lash at me "What are you doing here??". I sighed "I had to stay after class to talk with a teacher...".

He scoffed "Well apparently it was really important because you don't seem to care about being on time to an actual exam, maybe you think you're above it ?".

I opened my mouth to answer but he didn't give me the opportunity to do so because he motioned me to go away "Just go sit and be quick please, being late is one thing but making the others wait is a whole other"

I should have reacted, I should have told him to fuck off but I did none of it. I just went to sit and got my things out, trying to ignore how my hands started shaking again. I had always been the strong type and I truly hated how that little altercation just brought me back on edge but I also told myself that I reacted like that only because I was already on edge before getting inside the room.

I started reading through the documents of the exam, but I quickly understood that my agitated state was incapacitating me. I already wasn't good in biology, and I'm pretty sure that having trembling hands and a fogged mind wasn't gonna help in the slightest.

That's when his voice rang in my head 'Feet flat on the ground, eyes closed, deep breath and think of something calming' I had nothing to lose so I tried it.

Feet flat on the ground, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, keeping the air in my lungs for three seconds before blowing it out. I surely hated my state at that moment, but what I hated more was that the only calming thing I could think of was him, him and his bloody soothing voice that drew me in each time, that voice that had the power to calm me in a matter of seconds, when nothing else seemed to work.

And apparently, his power over me now also worked at a distance because the trembling and the flowing of thought seriously decreased. I genuinely couldn't tell if I was more impressed or annoyed by it.

No matter how I was feeling about it, that worked and that's all that mattered. My focus was back and I was finally able to concentrate, filling out the answers I knew, which mainly were the ones referring to definitions as it's the only thing I managed to remember. Surprisingly, I was also able to do some of the exercises thanks to the ones I re-did at home because it was almost the same ones, just different settings, therefore I just had to change some information and just redo the same thing I did the night before which was simple since I have a visual memory.

But even with that, there were still a lot of parts that I couldn't do, some things I didn't even remember ever seeing or hearing about in the whole course so I ended up finishing the test