ana. ❁ lrh

1.3

Sam's POV-

have you ever felt so vulnerable, so weak, so scared?

this place scared the hell out of me, but mostly, my condition scared the hell out of me.

I never ever pictured myself in this situation.

and all I can think about is everything...

what are people saying about me in school?

how many tests have I missed?

all the rumours about me being gone..

what about Luke?

he still has to attend school, what to people say to him?

what crowd is he hanging out with? is anyone flirting with him?

well, he absolutely perfect so who wouldn't be?!

all these questions float around, but there's still one thing missing..

•

it's dark.

am I even awake yet? did I die? is it just dark in this room.

I try to move, but my body is numb, I can't even feel if I have legs anymore.

I lay there for a minute, before i feel my body being lifted.

I try to talk, but no words come out!

I feel like I'm not even breathing, like I'm some lost soul in just a bunch of darkness and nothingness.

and then, before I can finish my thought, my body hits something hard.

and all the pain that I couldn't feel, was back. the numbness was gone and my whole body ached.

my head's throbbing, and I still can't seem to open my eyes.

what the fuck was wrong with me?!

"SAM! PLEASE WAKE UP! PLEASE" I hear someone yell, their voice trembling as they pleaded loudly.

and then it hit me, it was Luke's voice.

I try to scream, to say his name... but nothing comes out.

"Samantha, it's okay" I hear a soothing voice flood my ears.

"dad?" I croak, as my vision comes back and I'm sitting back where it all happened.

I'm in my elementary school, on the day my dad died.

"dad! don't go out there!" I tremble like I did years ago, begging my dad to stay hidden with me in that classroom.

"what if there are other kids out there Samantha?" he says back, releasing himself from my grip.

"dad, please" I whisper, as he slowly turns the door nob.

"stay here" he whispers, stroking my cheek softly before leaving the room.

I follow him, the same way the younger me once did.

he turns a corner, and that's when I hear the gun shot.

I run around the corner, to see my dad laying lifeless in that puddle of blood.

I look up at the man, and he falls to his knees in shame, realizing he had pulled the trigger.

"DADDY NO!" I scream, running as fast as I could to the girls bathroom.

I lock myself into the last stall, crashing to the ground in a puddle of tears.

I clench my knees tightly to my chest, rocking myself back and forth as the pain consumes me.

after what seemed like hours of sobbing, I shakily stood up as I heard the sirens.

I unlock the stall door slowly, taking an uneasy step out into the bathroom.

I make my way over to the mirrors, shuffling over with my head down as I let out more tears.

I look up to see myself, and I'm startled by my reflection.

I was eleven again...

I step backwards, staring at the reflection as it mimics my every move.

I hit the wall behind me with a thud, and I smash down to the ground like a sack of nothing.

everything goes black again..

"Samantha please!" I hear Luke yell again, but all I could see was the blackness.

"LUKE I CAN'T MOVE" I yell, hearing my voice finally echo through the black whole I was some how inside.

"please don't do this to me! WAKE UP! I NEED YOU" he pleads again, as if it was only me who heard my yell.

"I fucking love you Sam" he cries, as it echoes louder and louder through the darkness.

"I CAN'T MOVE LUKE!" I scream again, but it's still as if he doesn't hear me.

WHY CAN'T HE HEAR ME?!

"please... please Sam, don't die... don't go" Luke cries and it echoes loudly once again in my ears.

die?

what was happening to me?!

the crying slowly fades, and it feels as if Luke slips away even though I couldn't see him.

emptiness.

it's quiet again, and I'm left alone in the blackness with the numbness of my useless body.

•

I open my eyes, finally being able to see again.

I'm back in the familiar hospital like room, back in the asylum.

what happened then?

why couldn't I open my eyes before? why was it so dark?

but most importantly, where was Luke?!

"where's Luke?" I croak, not realizing I'm rambling out loud now.

I can hardly move my fingers or toes, and I didn't even wanna try to lift my head.

it was like my body was glued to this bed somehow.

"he's at home honey, the same place he was before you went out" the nurse Lucy soothes me, tucking some of my tangled up hair behind my ear.

"why did you say good luck?" I ask softly, staring up at the ceiling.

"these can be dangerous tests, I don't want us to loose you too" she whispers, playing with my hair soothingly.

"loose me?" I ask again with suspicion.

"I'll explain later, you need your sleep hun" she smiles weakly, before laying my bed fully backwards and pulling the blanket up further making me warm again.

I can't bring myself to process what she had said..

I was too tired and somehow way too weak to try and panic myself.

I drift off to sleep quickly, my eyes feeling heavy as they force themselves shut.

☯