Remedy (H.S.)

12

Kennedy Simmons

I was laying on the queen-sized and trying to sleep but, as always, I found that impossible. There was always something holding me awake. I could never have a calm sleep. Never in my whole life.

This room had nothing to do with any other room that I had been before. It wasn't a dark basement nor an old smelly room. It was a new and beautiful room. The bed was so comfortable that I felt like I was laying on a cloud. Opposite the bed there was a huge window and I could see the lights of this bright city.

But although it was so different it felt exactly the same.

I was back in the cellar once again.

I was between the warm covers in a warm room but I was cold. I felt like I was freezing and no matter how much a searched for a source of heat I never found one.

My whole life I had this feeling keeping me awake. I couldn't describe it in any other way and I couldn't describe how torturous it was but I was so familiar with it that at this point it felt normal.

I needed something. Something to warm me up. I didn't know what that something was. I never had that but I had dreamt of it. I could only describe that something as heat. Having it would probably feel like heaven. I was jealous of all those people that could feel it because no matter how bad I wanted it and how hard I searched for it I never got it.

I think I was about to have a panic attack. I hadn't had one in a long time and I don't think I could handle it.

My breath had already gotten uneven and my heart was beating so fast that I actually felt physical pain. My chest felt to heavy as if I had swallowed stones and they had fractured my arteries, preventing the blood and the oxygen to travel from my lungs, to my heart then to my whole body and back.

Thankfully a distraction came.

My thoughts were interrupted by a hesitant knock on the door. It couldn't be Charlie because he would've come in without bothering to knock. It couldn't be Harry either because nothing about this confident, scary man was so hesitant. Moreover he had gone to the club. That's why I made the conclusion that it was Lincoln.

I looked at the clock. It was 1 am. Lincoln had fallen asleep 2 hours ago. He had probably woken up maybe he had a nightmare like I did most of the nights too.

"Come in" I said loud enough for the person to hear. The door opened and Harry was revealed. I could tell it was him although he didn't actually look like him. There was something different. Something was really wrong.

His eyes were puffy and he was kinda pale. He looked weak not only physically but emotionally too. That strength and confidence of his had disappeared completely. He looked lost.

"What's wrong?" I asked feeling truly worried. I had seen him beeing in a bad state once before but this was completely different. He was in an awful state and I couldn't think of a possible explanation.

"Can I stay with you tonight? Please. I can't be alone. I'll sleep on the floor. I just don't want to be alone or close to them. I have nowhere else to go."

That wasn't Harry Styles!

Harry Styles was a strong, powerful and confident man. Everyone could tell just by looking at him. This guy was not him! In front of my eyes was a scared little kid that looked really lost.

I knew that feeling really well. Just a moment I felt exactly like that. Actually I jad been feeling that way my whole life. I alway looked for an escape and since Harry asked for help I wasn't going to refuse him.