Remedy (H.S.)

52

Kennedy Simmons

Usually things don't work out for me but right now I had some justifiable hope.

I knew that saying that Harry and I were friends would be a huge overstatement but when he told me yesterday that he wanted to be that person to me I felt a warmth in my heart.

I thought that maybe today he would probably forget about it and be a dick but here we are, singing every Arctic Monkeys song that came on the radio while he was driving us.

He was beeing nice and after I thought about it I realised that even though I always expected him to screw things up between us he never actually did.

Yes, I'm aware that his behaviour isn't impecable. He's been dick-ish most of the time but he's never as distant and rude as he used to be. If anything it seems like he can't keep himself away from me.

The same thing happens to me too. I always find a reason to be around him. At first I thought that it was either because I didn't have a choice or because I liked to tease him but now I realise that the actual reason is because I actually want to be around him.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I like the way his lips feel on mine, his hands on my skin, the sound of his voice in my ears, his skin under my fingertips. Everything he does makes the butterflies on my stomach go lunatic and the warmth I always looked for is so intense inside of me that I feel like I'm going to melt.

Harry makes me feel more secure than I ever felt before even though I know that now I'm in more danger than ever. I know that he's going to protect me and not just because he can benefit from me but because he genuinely wants me to be safe more than he initially thought.

He keeps saying that he doesn't care about me but he surely acts like he does. He wouldn't risk everything, including his own life just to make sure I wouldn't die in the race yesterday if he didn't care. He wouldn't do all those things he does like telling me that everything is going to be okay, holding me, kissing me if he didn't.

I do care about him and that's for sure. I care about him more than I initially expected that I could possibly care for the person who abducted me and dragged me into his messed up life.

At first I blamed him for everything and you cannot blame me for that. Now I realise that instead of a curse he's a blessing. Apparently I've been involved since the day I was born, both me and my brother, and now Harry keeps us both save.

I thought he deprived me from my life but instead he gave me one. Before him I had nothing. I was so close to losing everything and starving to death and now here I was, living in a big house, having my dream job and driving my dream car. He gave me everything.

I couldn't lie and say that Harry himself wasn't something I wanted. He was my guilty pleasure. Something that I wanted so much even though it was wrong but beeing around him felt too good. He was the spark that always missed from my life.

He made me feel so many things. He always made me feel special, now more than ever, and if he decided to go back to his old, arrogant, cruel self I would be really disappointed.

Who am I kidding?

I would probably be ruined. I was more dependent on him and the way he made me feel that I wanted to admit.

I like him.

There. I said it.

I like Harry Styles and I don't feel bad for it.

He wasn't a saint but he seemed to be willing to do probably everything for me, unlike the vast majority of people in my life before him and I think he wants me just as much. At least I hope he does.