Remedy (H.S.)

51

You'll know when to play the song. ;)

//

Harry Styles

Usually I wasn't the person to be happy to wake up. I hated it and every single day I wished this would be my last.

Why should I want to live a few more hours in pain? There was no reason for me to be alive so why would I torture myself anymore?

Unfortunately I was too much of a pussy to kill myself. I wanted someone or something else to do the job. Unfortunately drugs and alcohol don't work. Instead of killing me all those lethal combinations helped me build up high tolerance.

Then there are the races. It was the thing I enjoyed the most. When I was inside the car, driving so fast that any mistake would kill me and probably not just me, I felt more alive than I had ever before. Of course I whished I would die like that but I was way too good to make mistakes.

There were people who wanted me dead but why should I give them the pleasure? I would be too kind and I didn't want that. I had a reputation to maintain.

As you can tell by now I was stuck. There was no way for me to end my life no matter how much I wanted that.

That's right.

Past tense.

I don't want that anymore.

For the first time in my life I didn't feel miserable because I woke up. If anything I felt positive. I felt like there was hope for me and it was all because of her, that little thing sleeping peacefully in my arms.

She was the first thing I saw when I woke up and I found myself wishing she would be the last too. The way she had burried her face in the crook of my neck while she was laying completely on top of me triggered a warm feeling inside of me.

I was thankful she was asleep because if she wasn't I was sure she would be able to feel how fast my heart was beating under her small palm that was positioned on my chest.

I always felt like I was in pain even when I knew that there was no reason for me to feel this awful burning feeling. I had tried everything to stop it but nothing worked since everything was actually just in my mind. But for some reason whenever she touched me, spoke to me or even was in the same room as me that pain magically vanished and was replaced with a sweet and warm feeling.

She was my remedy.

I wrapped my arms more tightly around her and I found myself placing a kiss on top of her head. I didn't know why I did it. I had nothing to win and even if I had she couldn't even feel it. I just felt like doing it so I did it. The feeling I got was definitely rewarding.

I brushed her bangs on the side. I know I might sound like a creep or something but I felt the need to watch her as she was sleeping.

Her eyes were closed but not tightly shut. Her lips were slightly parted while inaudible snores escaped. She looked so peaceful and I was honestly envious of it. I could almost never sleep a full night without appalling nightmares terrorising me. Of course if she was there they dissapeared as well as everything else that was troubling me and she became all that mattered to me.

I found myself admiring the way the bright sun made her face look. It was like everything in this world wanted to complement her beauty. The sun, the moon, the stars, the lights of the city, the deem lighting of my club, everything!

She always looked so effortlessly gorgeous but whenever she smiled... God! Whenever she smiled I wanted to smile too. Whenever she smiled all the bad of this world dissapeared. I forgot everything bad that had occured in my life and I felt like I was living in one of this stupid fairytales.