Miracle- Noah Sebastian (SEQUEL TO THE GREY)

two

*Sutton's POV*

The furniture guys got here at 10 am. It was a hassle making sure that the cats didn't bolt out the door, but luckily they worked quickly.

I went with a simple black metal bed frame and a queen bed, getting a black dresser and vanity to compliment the set. After I put on my bedding, I sent Noah a Snapchat, captioning it "finally!" I worked on loading my folded clothes into the drawers when my phone buzzed with him responding. It was a picture of him smiling with a mug of coffee, captioning "looks sick!" I smiled, but didn't respond because I didn't know what to say.

It was 1 when I finally got everything unpacked. All of the cats were on the bed, trying to get their scent on it. We need to get a couch and a dog bed; Jemma is not seeming to like the stairs. I jumped in the shower, beginning to get ready for my date. I didn't know what to expect, but I figured that I would just show up casual, since we're probably just going to be at the house. Penny stared at me judgmentally as I got out of the shower.

"What are you looking at?" I joked with her, earning a sassy meow from her. "Do you want a shower too?" She meowed as she trotted away, clearly the answer being no. I smiled as I dried off, wandering to my room. It was still only 1:30, and I let out a groan of impatience. I'm still kind of playing hard to get, but damn, I miss him already. I threw on some clothes and went to Danielle's room, her just reading a book. I knocked to get her attention and let her throw in a bookmark and sit up more in her new bed, patting a spot next to her. "I think I'm ready to talk," I started.

"Give it to me," she urged, making me laugh.

"Do you want to start me with the big statements or the intrusive thoughts?"

"Intrusive thoughts," she answered quickly.

I took a deep breath. "I think I'm more scared of myself than I am of him," I felt the lump form in my throat, knowing that I'm finally going to tell her everything that I had avoided telling her. "The night I broke up with him, there was a point that I got so frustrated with the situation that I... physically pushed him." I avoided her eyes, but I felt her whole body tense. "It was like my vision closed in on me in panic, and he reached for me, and I freaked the fuck out. When I came out of it, I had never seen him so mad. If he didn't love me in that moment..." I trailed off, and Danielle grabbed my hand as I let the tears fall.

"He would have never hurt you, no matter how much you hurt him. I mean, there was a time on tour that he—" she cut herself off, realizing that she said too much. I looked at her curiously, and she knew she couldn't backtrack. "He uh... punched Jolly on tour. Noah had become a bad drunk after the breakup and the night that the person in the crowd broke the necklace, he freaked out and dipped to the tour bus without helping clean up. Nic tried to stop him, but Jolly got all in his face and said some out of line shit and Noah punched him." I felt my stomach turn. I hate to think of him in a state like that. "He has it in him, but he has to not be in his right mind for it to happen."

"All he ever did was try to help me, but I was too selfish to let him help me. And while I have grown a lot and know that he genuinely wants to be in my life, I have a hard time allowing anyone to help me in general. I don't want to hurt him again," I admitted finally. "That's why I'm holding back so much."

"Can I be honest?" She asked, and I nodded for her to continue. "You're hurting him way more doing what you're doing right now. You either need to rip off the bandaid and not go forward or lean into the process."

"He's seemed okay..." I trailed off, trying to convince myself that I hadn't been hurting him.

"To you, but... he's struggling. Just let him love you because I know that you love him."