unforgiven ➽ a Halilintar-centric fic

AUTHOR'S NOTE

So.

We're on... what, Chapter 33? Not the best way to cut a book's life short, and I can tell you without hesitation that this wasn't my intention.

There are many, many reasons why I can't bring myself to continue this storyline—but the main ones include: 1) lack of interest in the fandom; 2) lack of the "magic" I'd get when I'm in one; 3) wrong target audience and age group; and finally, 4) this is not the show I want representing my country.

I have nothing against the company or the creators, but the show itself is very jarring to look at from an international perspective. Malaysia is an Islamic country first and foremost, but our history and country and culture came to be from the three major races: Indian, Malay and Chinese.

Nowadays, the state of the place is a mess. Racism has become more prominent over the years, which is only accentuated by the recent election. I'm not going to go into detail because this is a kid's show, but ultimately the values and core characteristics of Boboiboy aren't going to hold up that well in international media, not with its morals and the way they handle conflicts or everyday issues.

Anyway, moving on from the serious stuff.

When I first made this book, it was to dip my toes into the fandom to see how far it's progressed. Back in 2017, everything was great and I would even go as far as to say that it was, as of the time writing of this note, was the peak of it. My old books were edgy and downright cringey, but it were the interactions, the people and the friends I made that made my time worthwhile.

However, at 27/1/2023, when I sit myself down in front of my laptop and look at this unfinished WIP of 66,352 words (yes, that's how long unforgiven is, not including character sheets and worldbuilding stuff), I feel nothing but exhaustion.

I read all the comments over and over, and I smile at the interactions and conversations people would have in this small space I created to get my fantasies out. I made playlists and designs for each character that ended up gathering dust.

In 2015, I came into the fandom with a pubescent, immature mindset and I left as an angsty teenager. Now 21 years old, I can't find the same motivation that I used to have when it comes to writing these fics any longer. Perhaps it's the age, or my preferences shifting over time, but ultimately none of this will matter.

I want to thank everyone who's supported Unforgiven up to this point, and I'm sorry that I had to end things off this way. 2017 me would've been proud of writing a fic (that's not even halfway done!) that has 66k+ words, and if it was fully finished, I'd estimate that it would reach 150k+ at the very least.

Lastly, here's some ideas that I wanted but never got to use, as a little farewell gift to this series.

- When Tanah, Petir and Angin were still in the orphanage, they wandered off into a nearby forest one night and found a glowing meteor. Said meteor exploded, and that's how they got their powers. The sudden change had them panicking and stressed, which was the start of Petir's fall from grace because of his harmful abilities and his guilt.

- Tok Aba adopted all three of them when they were 12, 11, 10 (Petir, Angin, Tanah).

- The same Adu Du and Halilintar incident happened like in the original canon, but this time, it was more drastic. For starters, Petir was presumed dead. Tanah and Angin, in their grief, took Adu Du's spaceship out the sky with Petir still inside, essentially burying him alive. Petir's body was recovered for the funeral.

- A few days after the funeral, Halilintar arrived at the household, suffering from amnesia. He dislikes the name "Petir" and won't respond to it. Matter of fact, he acts oddly and stares into space half the time, like he's seeing a ghost. Tok Aba was the only one to notice this change.

- The "green apple goatmilk" incident also happens, which lead to Angin being delirious and turning into Taufan because of the poison.

- Tanah became Gempa after Adu Du tried to kill Taufan and Halilintar.

- The entire Kaizo thing also happened, but this was the catalyst to have Gempa and Taufan join TAPOPS but leave Halilintar behind.

- A few weeks after they left, Boboiboy arrives at Pulau Rintis and lives with them until he turned 16ish.

- Anyway, Petir is actually dead dead but at the same time not really. Halilintar is a mere concept/avatar that is also an extension of Petir's powers, as his dying wish was to protect Tok Aba and live the life he was supposed to have.

- Petir is still alive through his powers but he is physically dead. Though, elementals that reached to the OriTrio's level technically aren't alive because their bodies are basically completely elemental energy mimicking their original form.

- Yes, they can shape-shift, but they haven't figured that out in the main story... just yet.

- Remember that little data breach TAPOPS mentioned and the stolen files (thanks, Thundy)? TAPOPS accuses Thunderstorm, Solar and Quake to be the one sending spies and Vargoba to Earth but Hali defends then afterwards.

- Also, after Halilintar and Gempa fought that ended with Halilintar disappearing, Gempa would later go on to suffer from trauma-induced memory loss that would plague him for quite some time because of all his shit experiences.

- Its later revealed that Petir (the dead kid, not Hali) is the main antagonist/villain behind it all. Using his powers (electricity and neuron activation, blah blah blah) he can mind control people and allow small sparks (parasitic things esque) to jump from ppl to ppl depending on his needs.

- Blah blah blah, the fic is about Halilintar learning what happened in the past and learning to let go. However, because Petir's hatred dissolved overtime thanks to the power of friendship, there was no more need for Halilintar. Halilintar be gone and dead lol.

- Petir comes back but he's not Halilintar, angst angst

- The English name cast mourn a bit outside of this fic

- Book ends with Petir waking up one morning and gets haunted by- ya guessed it, it's ya boi Hali.

- I had some other books planned as well, but it focuses on other characters: how the younger four got their powers and met; tanah, petir and angin's childhood; boboiboy's adventures with his ragtag group with Amato and Kaizo side stories; the eng-name cast and their slice of life romantic comedy; a small side book about petir and his thoughts in his time in purgatory.

- And yes, Tok Aba knows what's up. He knew abt most of Petir's shit from the very start.

There might be more plot points that I've jotted down somewhere, but as of now, these are the ones that are integral to the story as it is now. Though, the one thing I find funny, is that other than the book I planned for the side cast (Thunderstorm, Solar, Quake, Thorn, Cyclone, Blaze, Ice), everything else is pretty angsty. Not to say their book isn't sad, but... the setting for the side cast's storyline is set in a college slice of life with comedic skits. Quite a large contrast when compared to the other books in this series.

I won't lie – I'm a bit sad when I planned everything out over the course of weeks only to lose interest in the end. Looking back, it was a fun pastime I had, imagining different scenarios to pass the time. But they were only that—fantasies and imaginary scenarios. I'm torn that I don't have the ability to bring all of them to life.

Back on topic – maybe I'll pick this book up again and continue it, but that day is not today.

Thank you all for following me on this journey.