The Girl in the Snow [KNY X BNHA READER CRACKFIC]

Chapter 28: Yo How Tf Are We Alive?

Recap:

Tanjiro's blade slowly, but surely glides through Gyutaro's neck, decapitating him.

In what seemed like slow motion, I look up to see Gyutaro and Daki's head fly off at the same time.

Is it.. over? I look over to Tanjiro panting aggressively and back to Uzui saying something I can't make out. It's muffled as hell, WHAT THE HELL IS HE SAYING? DAMN, THE POISON'S KICKING IN!

Uzui tries to push us back, screaming

"Run! This isn't over yet!"

"RUN!"

Gyutaro's body explodes into a bunch of rotating circular slashes, absolutely fucking DECIMATING ̶Y̶O̶U̶R̶ ̶M̶O̶M̶ whatever was left of the battlefield.

--

Uoooho MuthaFuK that hurts like hell.

I look to my left and Oh mah gau- it's UzAI! And his M O M M I E S WIVES-
Standing before the four people is a certain black-haired simp.

"Oh? I see. Hmm. Six, huh? Oh? I see. Hmm. Six, huh? That would be the lowest of the Upper Ranks."

"Well, six or not, you still defeated an Upper Rank, so yes, congratulations are in order. Right, six or not." (I don't know if this makes sense)

"I don't mind offering you my praise."

Obanai's snake, Kaburamaru slithers upon his neck. Uzui looks up at the Standing male before him, "Well, not that your praise will do anything for me."

"That's right!" Suma yelled-chirped..? "You sure took your time getting here." The ladt with the yellow bangs added. Suma points at Obanai with a shaking hand, almost deadass crying. "Y-Y-You took too long to get here! Way too long!"

And the snake hissed at her.. lmao

"What are you going to do now that you've lost your left hand and left eye?"

"How long will it take you to return to duty after battling this lowly Upper Six? Who's going to fill in for you until then?"

Obanai bombards Uzui with questions that I had to shut up to think of a response.

"I'm retiring. There's just no way I can still fight. I'm sure the master will accept that." Uzui calmy states in which I couldn't resist not piping up.

"Yo yo yo. What the fuck? We almost lost Rengoku and he's having trouble going back to his regular duties now that he's one eye less. We can't afford to lose another one." I said, cutting into the conversation

"Don't be ridiculous. I refuse to accept it. As it is, too many of the youngsters are dying on us before reaching their potential." Obanai tries to convince Uzui to not retire to settle down and clap some ass for once.

"There is a youngster who's about to reach his potential for sure. It's the earring guy you hate." Uzui adds. Obanai, in disbelief says, "Hey... No way. Then, he survived? This battle... That Tanjirou Kamado?"

"Yep. We all are.. I think, I dunno." I add, chilling on the rock-hard ground with my FUCKING FIBULA STILL STICKING OUT LIKE A BONER-

"Ah, you too, I guess." Obanai said, dissapointed af

--

At the mansion, the crow delivers the news of our defeat of Uppermoon 6. Oyakata-sama is getting weaker by the day, which even we don't know how much longer he has. Our victory against an uppermoon was the first in like a hundred years or so. So uhhh I guess that's something to celebrate?

--

"Ah, this hurts like hell." Uzui mumbles, being supported by his three wives while he's walking out of the battlefield.

The three boys and Nezuko are carried out aswell on stretchers as about 30 or so Kakushis start cleaning up the battlefield.

"Yo, uhhh.. you got some pot? Anything to help with pain?" I ask, just chilling on the stretcher I was just placed on as the Kakushis are doing emergency first-aid. "EWWWW WHAT THE FUCK? IS THAT A FUCKING BONE? AND IS THAT A WHOLE ASS SUPPORT BEAM?" The Kakushi screams in fear of whatever the fuck they're seeing, lowkey scared how I'm just chilling. "Idk either, it's just another Sunday." I shrug, "Ok, so uhh everyone shut the fuck up, imma get some sleep. Good night.. or morning, whatever it is." And then I konk out like 5 seconds later.

--
[Insert SpongeBob narrarator]

10 days later..

I feel the warm rays of sun caress my skin as I slowly open my eyes, the scent of nature... and rat shit courtesy of Uzui's jacked rats flowing into my nose.

"Togata! You're awake!" Rengoku chirps, sitting next to the hospital bed I'm in. "Let me get Kocho. I'll be right back!" Rengoku gets up and walks away hospital style to get Shinobu.

The master of the Butterfly Mansion speed-walked into the room and checked my heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure and asked, "Y/N, how are you feeling?" "Uhhh aight, I guess. My back fucking hurts and my leg somehow doesn't hurt as much. How's my filuba by the way?" Shinobu fake-smiled, "Well, thankfully, your emergency surgery was a success and without any further complications. You've been in a coma for 10 days, and your Fibula is healing well."

"Ah, I see. How's Uzui and the others?" I asked in which Shinobu kept her fake ass smile on, "Well, Uzui's injuries are doing well, Tanjiro and Zenitsu are stable.. although, Inosuke did almost die on the operating table due to the lasting effects of the poison."

"So.. there's an open spot now? In the Hashiras, now that Uzui is retired? It should be his tsuguko next in line, right? ... if he has any." I ask for clarification. "Yes, there will be a Hashira meeting to discuss that matter."

--
2 months later

Y/N's Journal:

It's a couple of months since the battle and Inosuke and Tanjiro are still in a coma. I've finally been able to walk after like a month and a half with the help of physical therapy getting me off of my lazy ass. I started training a few weeks ago and the Hashira meeting is in a week.

--

1 week later

In the Butterfly estate, a black crow comes flying in, perching itself on the open windowsill. "Caw!! Caw!! Report to the Master's Mansion! Hashira Meeting! Caw!!" The bird's calls wakes me up from my slumber. "Yo shut the MOTHER FUCK UP- IM TRYNA SLEEP GOD DAMMIT-" I yell, which was interrupted by the sliding of the door to the room I'm staying in. I finally look up and see the Insect Hashira standing there with a pile of clothes in her arms. "Ara Ara~ Y/N-chan, please refrain from yelling at the crows. We did get an order from Oyakata-sama. Here, change into these clothes." I, still very groggy, nod silently and take the Demon Slayer uniform from Shinobu's arms.

The bird flies away from the window sill, giving me some privacy as I close the curtains.

As I change, I look down at my Fibula-Leg problem and there's a phat ass bruise lmao.

--

I walk outside of the Butterfly Estate
"Y/N, let's go."

"Bet"

And so we walk to Oyakata-sama's Mansion for the meeting.